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zaph1337 · 4 years ago

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Monster Hunter Rating 21: Khezu, the Blank Stare

When I reviewed Basarios, I made a joke about how the devs likely gave it human teeth over sharp teeth because the latter might not give children nightmares, but I don’t actually think that the devs ever intended Basarios to be more terrifying than any other monster in the game. This monster, however, is literally the stuff of nightmares, and I’m not misusing “literally” here. This may be the longest review I’ve written yet, so buckle up. Time to get spooky with Khezu!

(How it appears in Monster Hunter 1)

(How it appears in Monster Hunter Rise)

Appearance: I think there’s been a mistake here; last I checked, Capcom wasn’t making Silent Hill games. Seriously, this thing would fit right into that series, and not just ‘cause its phallic neck lends itself well to metaphors. The pale, veiny skin, the leech-like mouth, the complete lack of eyes...Khezu’s unlike any other monster in the series because it’s the only monster that’s meant to be horrifying to look at. It’s got flabby, tattered wings and gecko-like feet, but its main characteristic (other than the head) is its tail, the tip of which can open up into a suction cup that allows Khezu to stick to ceilings.

Obviously, Khezu’s an abomination that came from a really dark place in someone’s mind, but that’s just it: Khezu is a monster that appeared in an MH developer’s nightmare either before or during the production of the first Monster Hunter game, and said developer (I don’t actually remember who) decided to put it in the game. I learned of this from the Twitch streams of a streamer called DuncanCan’tDie, who’s a huge MH fan that’s on great terms with Capcom. Unfortunately, I can’t find any other sources for this claim, but I don’t think he’s lying for a few reasons; firstly, like I said, he’s on great terms with Capcom. He’s friends with some people who work there, and he even has a tattoo designed by someone on the MH team he called “Kaname-san” (who didn’t actually give him the tattoo, but drew the design that a tattoo artist used) and the only person who could go by that name is Kaname Fujioka, the man who literally directed several MH games, including the first one, and who was the art director for Monster Hunter World. So yeah. Duncan and Capcom get along great, and if he was spreading false rumors, they’d probably know about it.

The second reason I believe Duncan about Khezu’s origin is that someone once came into one of his streams (and I was there at the time) and started spouting “lore” about two monsters that looked like they could be related, but actually weren’t. Duncan flat out told this person that what they were claiming wasn’t mentioned anywhere and asked for sources...which the loregiver did not provide. In fact, after Duncan started getting on their case, I don’t think they said a word for the rest of the stream. Duncan believes that this person was just making stuff up to sound like they knew a lot about MH and weren’t aware that he was an MH expert, and I doubt that someone who would call someone out on that would do the same thing, especially if he had a reputation to uphold.

I apologize if I spent a lot of time talking about that, but I didn’t want people getting on my case because they couldn’t find anything to support my claims. But in conclusion, I believe that Khezu truly was born of a nightmare, and that’s awesome. It makes the Silent Hill comparison even more fitting since the enemies in those games are basically projections of the protagonists’ psyches. Disturbing enemies are much more effective if they scare(d) the people who created them, and Khezu is certainly disturbing. Because of that, as well as its ominous origin, I’m giving it a 9/10.

Behavior: Khezu mostly inhabit caves, jungles, and swamps due to the need for their skin to be moisturized, though they usually only leave caves to hunt, which they don’t have to do very often due to the plentiful fat beneath their skin, which also keeps them warm. Their favorite hunting strategy is to ambush their prey from a location usually concealed by darkness, which is made easier by their extendable necks. However, their reliance on darkness, as well as their preference to dwell in caves, has made them completely blind and reliant on their other senses; despite not having visible nostrils or ears, Khezu have great hearing and a very good sense of smell. Back to hunting, while they need to subdue larger prey, smaller ones, like Kelbi, are slowly swallowed whole...which is apparently something you can actually witness in the games, according to TV Tropes (I normally stick to the wiki and what I already know for resources, but I went to the “Monster Hunter / Nightmare Fuel” page while searching for another source for Khezu’s origin as a nightmare). As if this thing needed to be more disturbing, it doesn’t always kill its prey before it tries to swallow it, so the Kelbi you can see it eat is constantly struggling as the Khezu swallows it bottom-first. That’s...that’s messed up. But it gets worse.

Practically every monster in this series isn’t any more intelligent than what we consider a normal animal to be. Aside from Lynians, which are people, the smartest monster I’ve talked about is the Velociprey, which might not be as smart as, say, an irl crow, which is very intelligent by the standards of nonhuman animals. What I’m getting at here is that most of the monsters in this series don’t really take any sadistic pleasure in killing and eating prey; they just do it to survive. But Khezu is different. In several MH games, including Rise, the first time you go on a quest to kill a specific monster, the gameplay is preceded by a cutscene that shows off how powerful or intimidating that monster is (and in Rise’s case, you also get a poem). Here’s Khezu’s intro, and I want you to pay attention to what Khezu does from 0:24-0:30:

youtube

That’s right: this thing “looked” right at the monster it was going to eat, and smiled. That isn’t just me anthropomorphizing it, either; I’ve seen what Khezu looks like outside of that cutscene, and even with its mouth closed it has a neutral expression, so it smiling actually means something, and considering the context, it’s obvious what the devs wanted us to take from it: Khezu likes killing. It enjoyed the prospect of swallowing that monster whole while it was still alive and struggling, which means that this is the first monster I’ve talked about that we can definitively say is evil rather than just an animal. Rather fitting for a living nightmare, I would say. And if you thought all that was disturbing, I have some...unfortunate news. I hope you aren’t eating anything right now, ‘cause this next part is just gross.

Y’know how some wasps lay their eggs inside other bugs so the eggs have incubation they can eat when they hatch? Well, uh...Khezu do that, too. And they’re hermaphrodites that, from what I can gather, don’t need to mate, so any adult Khezu is capable of injecting another monster with its “whelps” (not saying that Khezu are always “pregnant,” just saying that any of them can be). And you know the really crazy part? After everything I said about Khezu, there are still people in the MH world that tame them and keep them as pets. Why would you want to have a slimy, flabby, sadistic, parasitoid, 14-to-40-foot abomination as a pet!? God, people are so freaking weird.

EDIT (05/07/2021): My older brother reminded me that I forgot about one of the odder aspects of Khezu; when you enter a fight with a Main Monster, its battle theme plays (don’t know if every monster has a unique theme, but several do, to my knowledge), but Khezu has no theme to speak of. I don’t know if this is true in every game, or even if it was intentional at first, but it’s still both funny and eerie at the same time. There’s no background music until you get in a fight, so if you somehow tick off a Khezu without seeing it, then it can sneak up on you. “But Zaph, the moment a monster enters ‘fight mode,’ it roars! So the Khezu will give away its position!” See, you’d be right about that if it wasn’t for the fact that, according to TV Tropes at least, Khezu’s roar sounds just like wind--howling wind, yes, but wind all the same. I don’t know if there’s any howling wind SFX in the areas where Khezu live, so for all I know you’ll still be able to identify it in a hurry, but just imagine what that’s like in-universe! Imagine that you’re walking around in the Frost Islands or something and hear a chilling wind from out of nowhere. Unless you’re an experienced hunter, you’d likely have no idea if that was a Khezu or not, so you wouldn’t know if it’s too late to run or not, or even if you should run at all. Going back out of universe, the details I just described are very nice touches to a monster that was already horrifying in behavior, so I’m bumping the score here up from the 7 I initially gave it to 8/10.

Abilities: All of the “Flying Wyverns” I’ve talked about so far have had a lot of trouble with the whole “flying” part, and Khezu are no exception; they’re better at it than Diablos and Gravios, but they still need to flap really frantically to stay in the air. They’re great at jumping, though, and their gecko-like feet allow them to scale walls and stick to ceilings, something that their tails also allow them to do. Khezu are Thunder-element monsters capable of discharging electricity in a manner of ways, including shooting balls of it from their mouths and emitting it all around their bodies. Since Khezu like to spend time around water, their attacks are even more dangerous, as everything near them will likely be wet and therefore more conductive. This also applies to Khezu themselves, which may be why they stick their tails onto the ground before discharging electricity; they ground themselves so that they don’t shock themselves. Finally, Khezu saliva is very dangerous; we don’t know if it’s electric or acidic, but anything that gives off smoke when it touches something probably isn’t good for your health, which is why owning a pet Khezu is so dangerous; their drool can literally kill you. 7/10.

Equipment: Most Khezu weapons are as interesting as you’d expect them to be, considering the monster they’re made from. Most of them have a horror aesthetic, like this Great Sword called the Khezu Shock Sword:

I just noticed that the skin is actually stretched over the blade, rather than being what the blade’s attached to. Gross, but I never expected Khezu weapons to look pretty. There are also weapons which emphasize the monster’s electric aspect, like this Gunlance called the Full Voltage:

It still has Silent Hill vibes due to its “rusty hospital” aesthetic, and looking at it long enough reveals little details it inherited from Khezu. Speaking of hospitals, there are a couple of weapons based off of syringes, such as the Khezu Syringe, which is a Light Bowgun, and a Lance from MHFG that’s literally a giant hypodermic needle, but I didn’t want to show those off in case they triggered anyone with needle phobia. The last weapon I’m gonna show will be very familiar to those of us who’ve played the Rise demo a lot: the Insect Glaive known as the Bolt Chamber!

I like the green tube running from the sac between the blade and the shaft of the glaive; according to the Bolt Chamber’s in-game description, it uses that “pulsating device” to steal energy from its targets. If you mentioned that to me before I grabbed its image for this review, I probably would have asked how it did that. If you then pointed out the mouth at the glaive’s end, I would have thanked you for cursing me with the knowledge of its existence. Seriously, I’ve used this thing probably more than 20 times, and until I saw this render, I never noticed that. As for the armor, here’s the Blademaster Khezu Armor from MHGU:

The male armor here is almost identical to the one from Rise--which sadly doesn’t have any pictures on the wiki yet--and yes, it does look like the main character from Assassin’s Creed. The female armor, on the other hand, looks almost like a nurse’s outfit, especially with that metal thing on the woman’s head with the cross. The more I look at this equipment, the more I feel like they wanted people to think of Silent Hill, and if so, that’s pretty cool. I’ve got another armor set to show you; the Gunner version of the Khezu R Armor from MHGU:

Jesus, is this an armor set or a medical emergency? I can’t imagine bandages are very effective at protecting your body from physical damage, but thankfully it looks like most of them are just covering actual armor...meaning that the people who designed this stuff in-universe wanted the people wearing it to look like they were in an accident. Not sure I get why, but I’m not here to--actually, I am here to judge, so never mind; it’s gross. Also the female set has Khezu mouths as arm coverings, which is someone’s fetish, I’m sure. The equipment as a whole is macabrely interesting (TIL that macabrely is a real word) and calls to mind a fascinating horror game franchise, so 8/10.

Final Thoughts and Tally: I figured that Khezu was gonna be interesting, but I didn’t know how far the devs would take the horror theming. Everything about this monster is creepy; it looks disturbing, it acts even worse, and its equipment makes me feel like I need a tetanus shot just from looking at it. But that’s not at all a bad thing...unless you’re really squeamish, in which case you were likely cringing this whole review. I’d apologize, but you made the choice to stick through ‘till the end. 8/10.

#monster hunter #monster hunter rating #monster hunter rise #zaph1337

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whateverthedragonswant · 4 years ago

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RIGHT, she always wants the upper hand. No equals. Good point! So one last question as we are on a roll! Now, if we accept that Dany believes she loves Jon and Jon's feelings for Dany are maybe love, maybe part infatuation/lust and part political. WTF was going on with Jon and Sansa? I felt they kinda had that "love triangle framing" but the show never committed to it. Was it just a mistake and bad audience interpretation? Some days I'm convinced the show hints at it and other days I don't know.

Lol absolutely, my friend! Oooo, yes I would love to dig into this with you. I’m warning you that possibly another 100 page paper may be headed your way. ;-)

Jon & Sansa - the would they/wouldn’t they pair. It’s a loaded question with an even more loaded answer but I will try my best.

They definitely were going for a love triangle. There was no mistake, I don’t think, or even bad audience interpretation or any shippers wearing shipping goggles for the triangle or either of those pairings. I think it was all very intentional and we picked up on it because of them doing it intentionally.

Like you mentioned, the framing, the promos, the cast interviews, the story, the 8x06 script confirming Sansa loves Jon and Jon knows it, hell even the editing -- all of it lead up to exactly what we saw playing out on screen. And I believe they did this for one reason & one reason only (sadly): to be a contributing factor to Dany’s fall. To cause Dany paranoia not only because of her feelings for Jon, but also as a political opponent (& rival queen, like that tense moment in 8x04 where Dany makes sure to say “under their rightful queen” at Sansa and Sansa’s chin lift). I personally didn’t care for this portion of the story they chose to tell in that last season (and I know a lot of people like to say “Jon and Sansa as a ship is weird, they’re siblings, even the show said they only love each other like siblings” to which I say “its GoT for crying out loud, the Starks have married cousins before, Jon and Sansa were not close growing up & have been separated for years now” & then point to all below, the 8x06 script confirmation of Jon knowing that Sansa loves him, and ask why Sansa was a point of contention for Dany then when it comes to Jon at all if there wasn’t something there, it doesn’t make sense, but I digress). There are so many similarities (maybe not as many as there are differences between them but they’re there) between the two characters. And while I understand Sansa’s suspicion of Dany being an actual tyrant and it’s all in character, I didn’t care for them having two of the strongest female characters on the show essentially fighting over a man when it was about so much more than that for both of them. But alas, that’s what we got.

Before the 8x06 script confirming the love triangle angle they went for, they definitely showed:

Sansa giving heart eyes to Jon in 8x04 (0:08 - x), her jealousy to Dany and Jon’s warm smile exchange & getting up to leave right after that moment

her heartbroken expression in her argument with Jon when asking if he bent the knee to save the North or because he loved Dany in 8x01 (which of course, we never got a textual answer for from Jon himself)

Dany suspecting jealousy in her convo with Sansa in 8x02 with “you know he loves you” “and that bothers you?” and then Dany’s look trying to gauge if that’s the case

Sansa’s “why her?” when watching Dany and the dragons flying above Winterfell & her emotional reaction to Tyrion saying that Jon has told him that he’s not a Stark (which I think had more to do with her being upset that he still thinks this no matter how many times she’s told him otherwise, that she’s losing him, as family & as someone she loves) (2:27 - x)

her expression when saying goodbye to Jon at the dock in 8x06 (2:05 - x, I think this particular part was meant to be multi-layered, he’s her family that she’s losing, she’s in love with him, she couldn’t save him from his fate, she’s sorry that she had to tell his secret and break his trust, she’s sorry that he had to be the one to kill Dany to save them & the world by extension, she regrets that she can’t get him freed or restored as the King in the North, that she couldn’t keep him completely safe, all of it -- not to mention in the script, this is the part where it mentions that Jon knows Sansa loves him but he can’t forgive her for telling her secret and what it led to, which I personally think over time he would have, she’s still his family and he killed his love to keep her safe but moving on)

plus all of Sansa’s hoping for Jon to return & mentions of him in season 7

Littlefinger’s knowing expression (2:37 - x) as Sansa watches Jon depart from Winterfell after he was choked/threatened by him in response to Littlefinger telling Jon that he loves Sansa like he did Cat

It was all meant to set up this love triangle, if you will.

Personally, my feelings on it are complicated because on one hand, I’m glad that it confirmed everything I had been picking up on watching the show, especially from 6x04 and on. On the other hand, I was annoyed because they confirmed Sansa’s feelings but not explicitly textually, and only used them to help further along Dany’s story in the end while making Sansa look like the horrible villain (like they were trying to make her a Littlefinger 2.0), regardless of how her story ended. I remember a lot of people actually hating on Sansa for that decision that she made and I was there holding my hand up going “wait, do you know her character, though? do you not realize she didn’t tell his secret and break his trust to get at Dany or to get back at Jon? that she actually did it to save his life? have you ever seen the movie Gladiator? you can’t kill someone publicly without reason in this universe, not if you’re going to be sitting on an iron chair in this country and are hoping to come across as the savior of the people, the benevolent but strong queen, a secret is much easier to snuff out, folks.” That’s one of the ways I believe Sansa’s characterization got muddled in the end. Everything she did, she did to protect Jon and her family as well as the North, and Arya confirms it in dialogue in 8x01, what Sansa’s true motivations were at the time (not to mention David Nutter’s direction to Sophie for the courtyard scene with Dany “This is your house”) and that’s why Arya stood fast with her. But I’m going off on a tangent, sorry, back to the Jonsa/love triangle framing.

Here’s what I believe on this despite the obvious plot device they turned the love triangle setup into:

For Jonerys, they promo’ed it heavily for the last season, right? There was this:

And of course this:

They had been given a love scene in 7x07

Dany’s costume from 7x06 to 8x03 was meant to indicate that Dany was in love with Jon as reported by Michele Clapton, the (brilliant) costume designer

they even had their own love theme “Truth” that was being played during some, if not most, of their scenes

They were purposely framed:

the shot of them coming out of the cave together in 7x04

them sitting at the table in the great hall together in 8x01 (which they definitely threw Sansa in there as well)

the shot of them closing the door in the boat cabin in 7x07

them standing together talking about the dragonglass in 7x03 with the dragons in the background

them walking back to the castle in 7x05 after Dany returns from battle

them talking privately in the dragonpit 7x07 while waiting for Tyrion

them walking up to the dragons in 8x01

them watching the Dothraki attack the White Walkers in 8x03 from the mountaintop

them framing Tyrion in the middle when the White Walkers arrive at Winterfell in 8x02 (because let’s face it Tyrion will be coming between them in a way in 8x06)

them standing & facing Lyanna’s statue in the crypt in 8x02

them standing at the waterfall in 8x01 and kissing

them on dragons at the same time in 8x03 in battle mode

the whole framing of their warm smile exchange in 8x04 and then them standing together in the bedroom scene in the same episode

them standing together in the destroyed throne room in 8x06

They did all of that to show that this is a couple and a power couple at that, which could possibly turn into a ruling couple. Even at the premiere of the final season, I remember at the time seeing a photo circulating around this site, showing that Sophie, Kit, and Emilia were placed within vicinity of each other when the cast took the stage, and even then it was obvious not only that they were playing up the Jonerys angle but also the love triangle framing (especially with this promo at 1:11 x). They knew they had an audience for that particular angle but in this last season, they brought it to the forefront, just not in the way anyone would expect (in their minds). That’s why they had the cast (namely Kit and Sophie) drumming up PR since season 7 (and possibly earlier), hinting and teasing that there would be so much tension between Jon and Sansa, that there would be a power struggle (wtf? what power struggle? because she questioned a decision of his & it showcased just how different he was from rulers before him like Joffrey & showed us he was a good ruler, one she believes in? sure, Jan, power struggle, sure) and all of that good stuff. Because what did everyone expect to be endgame?

And those who didn’t that maybe thought Jon might be in love with Sansa or vice versa, or even if there was going to be another romance for Jon or Sansa or both:

And the thing D&D and the show kept saying? “Subvert expectations” -- that was their whole goal while trying to tell this story

Personally, I don’t think they ever intended to make either pairing endgame. I believe they wanted people to think one or the other, but I don’t think they ever intended to go further than that (that I’m aware of, I should say). I know there were some rumors that supposedly they had planned for a Jonsa endgame all along, and had even shot scenes for one, but I don’t think they did (if I’m wrong, I would be more than happy to be). And the reason I don’t think they did besides for the love triangle to be a plot device contributing to the end they had in mind for all three characters? The way they ended everyone else’s arcs that did not make a lick of sense. I think Jonsa was heavily foreshadowed as Ned and Cat 2.0 but I think they planned to do it only to bring this to the viewers’ minds in order to make Sansa a romantic and political rival, enough that Dany sees the threat, Jon knows it, and it influences Sansa’s decisions enough that it also affects Jon’s and Dany’s decisions.

As much framing as they did for Jonerys, they also did for Jonsa. The only difference was that it began more almost subtle (though the framing was screaming loudly even back when they were building up their forces to take back Winterfell in season 6), Sansa wasn’t a queen yet, and she didn’t have dragons or a direwolf pack behind her. This is just my personal opinion, but I think Sansa was always meant to play a part in this triangle, like I mentioned Sansa and Dany have many similarities, they also show the contrast between both ladies in Jon’s life as well as how they would rule as queens (while hinting he would be the King half of each relationship):

I don’t remember where this post is (if I find it again, I’ll come back and edit, I want to give them proper credit) but I know I saw it on here somewhere. Roz confirms in season 3 that when Sansa was born, they rang the bells all day in Winterfell. (x) When Dany was born, not only was there a great storm with dogs howling all night (which further proves she is one of the two threats to Westeros like GRRM said) (x) but what was going on while she made the decision to torch KL? They were ringing the bells to surrender (x)

Sansa organizes the defense for Jon (like a Queen Regent would do), handles the Littlefinger situation, and rules the North while the pack makes its way back home so to speak in season 7 all while Jon is away; granted Dany already has her armies, she is already a queen, so she doesn’t need to do any of this and she does go to North to assist Jon in the Great War & save Jon and the guys in 7x06 but she also chooses to burn all of the supplies in the battle with the Lannisters in 7x04, doesn’t really concern herself with the little things like food (I know she has a Council for that but I think they show this contrast purposely to show she’s not really a ruler) and gets annoyed when that is questioned (granted Sansa was a bit snarky here but it was a very good point to make and actually echoes Jon’s own ruling method/concerns from season 5 as Lord Commander)

Sansa brings reinforcements for Jon in 6x09 using her connections so to speak just like Dany shows up to save Jon in 7x06 & brings her forces north in 8x01 to assist in the Great War

Dany is shown ruling in 8x02 when Jaime Lannister arrives but eventually she is outvoted (which is a nice way of putting it lol) by Sansa and Jon who agrees with the logic of getting every person they can get to fight this war - but they also make sure to show that while Dany isn’t listening to Jaime or Tyrion (as her Hand), Sansa listens to Brienne (her sworn sword) and that factors into her decision making, meaning she will weigh everything and not let anger or emotion cloud the issue & she will take things under advisement before so doing

the convo that takes place in 8x02 between Dany and Sansa, when Dany walks into the library, Sansa is seen giving instructions to keep the gates open for more people to come for safety to Royce who gives her respect after, and the bare minimum respect to Dany as he leaves - we also see Sansa thinking of everything outside the Great War box by asking about what happens afterwards and after they defeat Cersei, and then of course we see Dany’s narrow scope of an answer “I take the iron throne” and she has no answer for what after which launches Sansa into steel mode & asking again about the North more strongly

after their convo, we see Sansa and Dany walking in and standing in front of Theon and his men. Theon gives Dany her due respect as their queen but he makes it clear who he is there to address, who he is there to fight for, and gives Sansa her due respect as well. But we also see Sansa’s reaction to Theon pledging to fight for them as we see Dany’s reaction to all of this and her confusion, seeing it’s not duty that Theon is fighting for, but love, love for Sansa & his chosen family -- more importantly, love that Dany doesn’t have which she confirms in 8x04 and 8x05

We see Sansa make the point in the battle planning scene in 8x04 about the men needing to rest, that the generals need to be spoken to. Dany who feels she has waited long enough after she came to fight the Great War alongside Jon doesn’t want to hear this. But it actually is a very good point to make & consider, as we know. Yes, Dany still won in the end, but possibly she wouldn’t have lost Missandei (we can only assume) or Rhaegal or anymore men or wouldn’t have even razed KL to the ground (possibly). But because she didn’t want to wait and it was Sansa who made that point, it’s immediately dismissed.

We see Sansa as someone who would go to war for her family by the dragonpit scene in 8x06 - while she’s in love and they’re threatening the guy she’s in love with who is another member of her family who is being held captive, she is not unleashing fury unless Jon gets hurt which is confirmed by her dialogue to Grey Worm; yes, Dany holds back in 8x04 when Tyrion attempts to compromise with Qyburn & Cersei while they hold Missandei captive & Euron has already killed Rhaegal, she did not attack KL as soon as she landed in Westeros, but the desire to was always there & showed to us in moments throughout the last 2 seasons, never mind all of the hints we were given of what would happen if she came over to Westeros before then

Another contrast is how Dany handles executions vs how Sansa handles them - both are brutal of course and not fun, but how they were conducted says a lot (though they both definitely have in common that they both swing the sword so to speak after they pass the sentence) - Sansa gave Littlefinger his chance to defend himself as he asked though no one would help him, Varys was never given that chance (even if she told him what she would do to him if she discovered him betraying her, which in a way he did look her in the eye first and tell her like she asked but she ignored him and I don’t think that constitutes as a full betrayal, he was never given a trial like setting, only a chance to say his last words, which fun fact that Cersei does the same with Missandei and slightly weirder but I suppose it was weird at the time since Jon was fresh back from the dead, Jon in season 6 with his murderers, though the crimes are: Littlefinger - getting Ned Stark beheaded and starting the Lannister/Stark conflict, Varys - treason, attempt to overthrow a ruler, Missandei - being in the wrong place at the wrong time & for shock value, Night’s Watch murdering squad - murdering Jon so all different I suppose if I’m being fair, but the styles of executions...I’m just saying)

Sorry, I ran off on a tangent there for a minute but I think it all relates to the whole framing of this love triangle and Jonsa itself. Jonsa was definitely going to be a thing, maybe not the way we thought it would, but it was definitely brought to the forefront in season 8. And they purposely hooked us with the framing they gave Jonsa alone as Ned and Cat 2.0. Like Robb, Jon is named King in the North. Instead of the Young Wolf, he is the White Wolf. His costumes and hair styles are meant as callbacks to Ned. Sansa’s own look is meant to be a callback to Cat though she has different hairstyles and different costumes. Her dress in 8x04 at the feast has a scale-like look to it and this is also meant to call back to the Tully side of the family (which is interesting because she’s a Stark through and through yet in this moment, a moment where we see her giving heart eyes to Jon, she is wearing a dress meant to callback to her mother while Jon had just been sitting at the head of the table where Ned would have sat...yep). There were tons of shots framing them as the ruling couple of Winterfell, as Ned and Cat come again:

Oh and this gem in comparison to the hand shot up above for Jonerys:

Not to mention the callbacks in other ways:

Ned choking Littlefinger in season 1 when going to meet Cat in a brothel --> Jon choking Littlefinger in the crypt in 7x02 after the latter admits he’s in love with Sansa, just like her mother

Ned & Cat watching Bran practicing archery in the courtyard before they are interrupted --> Jon (and Sansa with Davos) in 7x02 watching people practicing archery in the courtyard as they discuss Tyrion’s scroll; Jon & Sansa talking in 7x01 above the courtyard when they are interrupted)

This brilliant video shows so many parallels, visually and textually, that show the Ned/Cat & Jon/Sansa callbacks so much better than I ever could

Michele Clapton is one hell of a brilliant costume designer. She is the one who said the costumes on the characters will hint at their desires. She is the one who went in depth on what certain costumes or accessories mean, so much so that they tell their own story outside of the acting, framing, music, and dialogue. She’s really brilliant. Jon was in a similar costume to Ned in 6x09 in the tent scene and then during the Battle of the Bastards. Then, Jon was in Stark clothing up until the end of 8x02, until he was in a sigil-less costume (funnily enough after he is having his identity crisis) though he still maintains the Stark cloak. He continues to don that cloak, except at the feast in 8x04.

Though when he goes to battle in 8x05, he is wearing the Stark emblem as expected, since he’s leading the Northmen into the fight. But then Arya shows up at the end after Tyrion has been arrested, as Jon watches Dany walking away which funnily enough they’re playing a Targaryen-esque theme again, and boom there’s Arya and his choice is in his face again but moving on. Then when he goes to talk to Tyrion, he has no Stark clothing, all sigil-less again. (I think this was done because he still hadn’t made a decision yet while they also were trying to keep the audience in the dark as to what would happen). But when he goes to talk to Dany, even though his clothing is sigil-less, his outfit looks very familiar to what Ned and Robb have worn in the past (indicating stealthily that he had made his decision, not to kill Dany, but that he was a Stark). Sansa’s crown has two wolves at the top, meant to symbolize the pack/her family as was her coronation dress. In my opinion, I don’t think she ever gave up hope that Jon or Arya would return home at some point.

So when it comes to Jonsa, I don’t agree completely with what they did but I do think those who rooted for them as a pairing or just their characters individually were left a very generous open ending so that others could take it and do what they would with it (fanfic, fanart, etc), that this open ending could make room for GRRM’s own ending in the last two books (I’m not sure how this will go in the books, if he even has any plans for it, but I have seen a lot of meta circulating on this site from the book readers who like the idea of the pairing showing clues they’ve picked up that there could be a hint to a Jonsa ending).

To answer your question with a long lengthy answer (sorry!), yes I think they intended to frame Jonsa romantically but not have Jon reciprocate or confirm/deny textually (or even have Sansa put words to it textually). Because they weren’t going to go with one of the predictable endings after all of the hinting/foreshadowing had been laid, (terrible writing to use the Ned/Cat thing as a red herring since the Starks were the underdogs to begin with, no pun intended) GRRM even says himself you can’t just suddenly change it, or do framing to build up something only so you can use it later on as a red herring and then go “gotcha! you didn’t expect that, did you? Oh I’ll give you Jon and Dany but not how you expect, oh I’ll give you Jon and Sansa but not how you expect, oh I’ll give you Jon as a king but not how you expect, expectations and predictability are the scourge that must be subverted at all costs” so they can pat themselves on the back with a “job well done” at fooling the audience and how they shocked them and go “OMG I did not see that coming!” I say the same for Jonerys with the pregnancy/child talk and even their framing, though at least they followed through on the romance part of it textually (regardless of story intentions).

And they definitely intended there to be a love triangle between Dany, Jon, and Sansa:

(the last one is I think meant to show the ruling portion, especially as Dany as the head, but it also shows these were the three main characters when it came to power, despite Cersei of course - though I think Jaime represents that Lannister reminder here as well & she’s being discussed so we don’t forget who still sits on the IT - and despite all the supporting players that go into the whole story)

The whole funeral scene in 8x04 (x) - we see Dany mourning Jorah, then Sansa mourning Theon and then who do they show afterwards? Jon. Then they show Dany walking back to her side, then Sansa walking back to hers in the wide shot. In 4:42, in the wide shot, it’s Sansa, Jon, and then Dany at the funeral pyres, watching them burn. Even when they’re walking away, they’re framed again with Dany in the middle of Jon and Sansa. Then they show Dany’s face, then Sansa’s. It’s just nuts. (to me, this whole scenario gave it away that we opened with two queens mourning their two knights/courtly lovers if you will, and then the rest which just proved more to me that this was a love triangle and that Sansa was in the running to be a queen just as much as Dany and Cersei were). We also see the scene where Jon studies Lyanna Mormont’s body and then turns to look at Dany who is just looking at him, waiting for him to give the signal to light the pyres. I might be reading too much into it but I find it interesting that Lyanna is the one he is going to burn, the same girl who presses Jon when he returns in 8x01 for giving up his crown & holds his feet to the fire, that she was the first to proclaim him as her king in 6x10 - x, first to come to Jon & Sansa’s aid in season 6 that we were shown though that was also due to Davos’ intervention, that she was loyal to House Stark even back when Stannis was around & this shot is followed by him looking at Dany, the reason he is no longer King in the North.

And how many times did Dany mention Sansa to Jon over that season after meeting her? Why was Sansa the one (I mean chosen story wise) to break the secret and be the catalyst for Varys to attempt to usurp Dany with Jon? That Dany was bothered by the most besides Cersei? Yes as a rival queen, a political rival, sure, but she mentions Sansa to Jon far too many times for it to be strictly that. She mentions Cersei a fair bit, too, but the tone is very different, even after Missandei being executed and Rhaegal being killed. Cersei is a bug to be crushed that simply stands in her way and has taken things from her that she should have never touched (the IT, Missandei, Rhaegal) but Sansa... Sansa is almost mentioned with as much vitriol (though way less name calling) by Dany as she is by Cersei. (The War of Five Kings? I think this really became the War of Three Queens at some point)

While Jon chose to protect his family, Arya was not pushing for Jon to kill Dany, she was only pushing for Jon to wake up and realize that he’s not safe since he would always be considered a threat to Dany (x) and would eventually end up being killed (”I know a killer when I see one”). And while I believe Arya would have stood by Sansa loyally and never backed down (that would have put her in danger in Jon’s mind solely, since he doesn’t know about her faceless training), Sansa was really the one that he knew wouldn’t bow down to Dany. The dialogue in that scene “Try telling Sansa” in 8x06, Tyrion mentioning Jon’s sisters and then Sansa specifically in that jail scene in the same episode (though I know he did this to also get through to Jon, exploiting this weak point) (x), Jon’s question to Dany in the throne room later on “what about everyone else? what about all of the other people who think they know what’s good?” and Dany’s “they don’t get to choose” (x) followed by Jon’s look afterwards...he knows, he also knows Sansa won’t back down and she’ll eventually be executed most likely the same way Varys & the Tarlys were (this is confirmed in the script with the line “Jon understands what this means for the people he loves the most” & he remembers Dany’s line in her speech to the Unsullied & the Dothraki mentioning Winterfell), he makes his decision right then and it weighs heavy on him but he does it - he ultimately lived up to his promise that he made back in 6x09 “I’ll protect you, I promise” to Sansa though she doubted it was possible at the time. (x)

Plus, I’m also looking at Kit’s acting choices here, the Master of Microexpressions himself:

(x) (x) (3:37 - x) - and just to point this out for the whole thing above, isn’t it funny they go from a shot of Jon after Sansa walks away that they go to Torumnd and Brienne, a redhead whose affections are not returned, sure it’s meant to be comedic and obviously Jon is not disgusted by Sansa but also...eh, maybe I’m reading too much into that editing choice...)

This in sync movement as well as framing here (0:48, and before this, just to note, Sansa’s horse keeps pace with Jon’s and she keeps pace with him while walking until the fight breaks out, while also speaking up and keeping in the conversation, meaning not only is she trying to be heard but she’s on an equal level with Jon, they’re a team trying to take Winterfell back, she has the Stark name & he has the military experience - x)

Why the breathlessness, Kit & Sophie? Why acting choices? (3:36 - x) (1:02 with step forward after - x) (1:35, this little inhale right here - x) (1:54 - his shocked reaction to seeing the Starks & his inhale and who is front and center in the lineup? & why that last look after [what I think he’s doing] memorizing Sansa’s & Arya’s faces for the last time, 4:46 when Sansa is not his favorite sibling & they lined them up by affection level almost for Jon with Sansa being the furthest back? x)

It was definitely portrayed as romantic, almost as much as Jonerys was, to feed into the love triangle theme later on they wanted to present. And while the scripts hadn’t been written yet for season 8, D&D did confirm they had started planning the show’s end around the time season 6 was being shot. They also worked with GRRM on certain planning of the final season, they said through video calls or something like that (I’m not sure if they discussed this part of it at all but I’m sure they discussed Dany and Jon and Dany’s fall and what could contribute to it). Benioff also said that the relationship between Jon and Sansa would “be crucial to watch” (though at the time, he was talking about the conflict between them, that Sansa doesn’t trust Jon, didn’t tell him about the KotV, etc).

I think the love triangle was intentional, I think framing Jon and Sansa as the second coming of Ned & Cat was intentional, and I think Sansa having feelings for Jon & their romantic framing/coding was very intentional. I just don’t think the Jonsa endgame (as far as I know) or the Jonerys endgame was intended to be an HEA for either one at the end.

It was always going to come down to Jon having to choose one house or the other, which family, but also choose which queen. In the end, as we know, he chose the Starks, the family he’s always been with and loves, and kept his promise to Sansa. Dany broke the wheel, sure, but Jon ended up being the “shield that guards the realms of men” by taking out the other threat for Westeros, making room for Sansa to remain safely in her home (which is what she’s always wanted) and not under anyone’s thumb or boot heel. Jon took that safety away when he brought Dany up North (though he had to) but thankfully, he restored it even if he wishes that it didn’t have to happen in that way, even if he continues to question if what he did was right (it was, even though I love Dany, she wasn’t going to stop). Sansa was in love with the idea of love as a child, the stories about princes and knights, we know this canonically about her character (more from the books, but I think they intimated it in season 1 with the whole Joffrey arc). I think in her eyes, Jon is that prince, that knight, especially after she saw how he was as a king, even if his decisions frustrated her at times. I think she trusted him after they take back Winterfell (though she didn’t care for his decision to bend the knee and now we see that she had good reason) but she never naively did, if that makes sense. She still kept her wits about her, and even though I don’t think she ever expected Jon to do what he did in the end, killing Dany, I think she still hoped he would be safe and would she, and by extension Arya (should she return) and Bran, and that maybe hopefully someday Jon would come back home. She still had her feelings but she accepted that Jon had made his choice (even if she didn’t understand it or agree) and it wasn’t her or the Starks (from that convo with Tyrion in 8x04). But in the end, Jon did choose her and the Starks, and absolutely proved himself a Stark, and part of the pack.

It’s almost wasted potential, but I think that’s what they were kind of going for. I know the actors themselves balked at the idea of Jonsa as a romantic pairing (Sophie’s response at a comic con when a fan mentioned Jonsa as a ship, Kit’s recent reaction on a video call or panel with “that’s weird” when someone mentioned Jonsa as a ship, etc) but after all of this, you can’t tell me that’s not what they were shooting for even if they never intended for it to became overtly textual like Jonerys did, even if it was only used to push Dany towards her fall in the end. Bittersweet, indeed.

So, my friend, I hope this very long post answers that question for you. I’d be very curious to hear what you think, too! <3

#ask #jonsa #dark!dany mention #got #game of thrones #got posts #got love triangle #anti jonerys slightly #jon x sansa #got meta

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annacwrites · 5 years ago

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the wip list

Alright, gang. Buckle up. This is going to be a long one, and at this point I can’t even bring myself to be sorry about it. I meant to put this off but then I started thinking about it, so here we are (at 1:05 in the morning when I have to work at 8:30, what am I doing?).

I’m going to break this down in a couple of ways—fanfiction vs. original fiction, fandom (if it’s a fanfic), series/universe (if it’s in one), and then the individual books themselves (if I have the ability to do that, because quite frankly, for some of these I don’t because I have no idea what the titles are or where I’m splitting the story yet).

Also, “WIP” is an incredibly broad term here. In some cases it means I’ve already written the whole thing but I plan to 100% rewrite it (and haven’t started yet). In some cases it means I’ve written half of the thing but haven’t finished yet. In some cases it means I have it all outlined but haven’t started writing yet. In some cases it means I haven’t really touched an outline on paper yet but I have it all worked out in my head. Take the “in progress” part of WIP with a grain of salt.

(Putting this whole thing under the cut because it is so freaking long. I apologize if the read-more doesn’t work on your dash. Idk what tumblr is doing.)

Starting off easy—the fics:

Harry Potter: (JKR can fuck off with her transphobia and cultural appropriation and all the other stupid and fucked-up shit that she’s done/promoted but, as I said to my friends, she can pry my next-gen fanfics from my cold dead hands. Cursed Child is not canon in my life because I’ve never read it and I don’t care what nonsense she came up with.)

The “In Your Arms I’ll Stay” universe (Tedtoire/Scorose):

The first fic in this universe is the first fic I ever finished. 110k words followed up by a ~137k word sequel. It is a disaster and a half but it’s also my baby and I fully intend to rewrite it one of these days. It is full of standard Tedtoire trope-y nonsense—best friends since childhood! two-year age gap! jealousy about other relationships! obliviousness!—and at 15 I thought it was a really good idea to try to turn it into a mystery too, which is a mistake that I have every intention of rectifying because it was unnecessary and I just didn’t know how to do drama and tension back then.

Anyway. It will probably be two parts again when I rewrite it because one part per school year just works, yeah? We’re covering Vic’s fifth/Teddy’s seventh year and Vic’s sixth year/Teddy’s first year out of school over the course of these parts.

Within this universe we also have Heartbeat and Bone, which is a Scorose fic that I’ve written probably 75% of already but have no intention of actually finishing before I rewrite it. I want to get the stories in the right order so that I can get details straightened out, so Teddy and Victoire get the rewrites first and then I’ll be revisiting this fic. Also full of trope-y nonsense (and my continued acceptance of the headcanon that the Heads have their own dormitory at Hogwarts, because it’s just too much fun that way).

some things were meant to be (Tedtoire):

Oh god, another fic with a cliché title taken from Can’t Help Falling In Love. I have zero regrets because it fits them perfectly.

This one is... half-done? I fully intend to finish it but I need to finish the outline first. It was my 2019 NaNoWriMo project and I am 100% just writing it for the lols (and because Teddy and Vic are like... my comfort ship where writing is concerned). I wanted to play with a different universe and change up their relationship and roles at school a bit, but once again... trope-y nonsense. It’s unavoidable with them. There is obliviousness everywhere.

Star Wars: (it’s Reylo, okay? It’s Reylo. I don’t want to hear it about how the ship is ~so terrible.~ That is literally the furthest thing in the world from a hot take, you can’t say a single thing that I haven’t heard before, and I’m a grown adult and can do what I want. Bite me.)

looking for the map that leads me home (Reylo):

Stole the title on this one from We Take Care of Our Own by Bruce Springsteen, because why the fuck not, right?

To put it simply: musician AU. To put it a little less simply: he’s got a dead career, she wants to have even the slightest shot at one, Rose is the best, Poe’s a singing heartthrob, Finn is a love-struck goofball. You know, all that fun stuff. The entire thing is based on a playlist that I made and every chapter has a song that acts as its theme. I haven’t touched it since January 2018. I want to finish it eventually but it’s not really at the top of the priority list.

There’s a few other fics from other fandoms that I’ve started and never finished but the odds of me touching them again are like... nonexistent, so I’m not including them here. I’ll update this post if anything changes on that front (but it probably won’t).

Now for the complicated part—the original fiction:

Maker’s Magic

This is a trilogy (or at least, it’s supposed to be). This is also a rewrite of the first story I ever finished—the fantasy novel that I wrote for my first-ever Camp NaNoWriMo back in August of 2011, when I had literally no clue what I was doing at all and essentially stole the plot structure from The Obsidian Trilogy by Mercedes Lackey and built my own story around it. This is not a good way to write a piece of fiction that you want to publish, kids, but it is a damn good way to get your feet wet when you’ve never really written before.

I am reworking this story entirely from scratch. The characters are... kind of the same as the original story. Kind of. Maybe. I’ve changed a few names and merged a few people together and scrapped some others and entirely shifted the backstory of pretty much everyone, but... they’re definitely still the same, right?

Basically, at this point the plot is really only similar to The Obsidian Trilogy in that we’ve got a trilogy, we’ve got some elves, and it’s your standard good vs. evil fantasy story (in its own unique fashion, of course). I’m still working out the details of this rewrite, but this is kind of the Holy Grail of all of my writing projects and the one that I’m most concerned about getting right, so I’m anticipating that I’ll be in it for the long haul on this one. I’m hoping I might be able to get a draft of the first book done this year, but... we’ll see.

(I also don’t want to give too many details about this project, ‘cause it’s the one that I’d really like to maybe publish one day, so...)

The Willow Hill universe

This started as a single story plus a standalone sequel set in the same universe, conceptualized when I was fourteen and missing horseback riding terribly (so yes, it is a story for all those Weird Horse Girls™ out there). I wrote a good portion of it, then deleted it, then rewrote the entire thing, then deleted it again a few years ago because I was no longer satisfied with the writing quality (after hitting top 100 on the Teen Fiction list on Wattpad way back when, so... I didn’t do too badly as a 16-year-old, but the writing still sucked). I’ve been promising a rewrite to my Wattpad followers since 2016 or something like that (2014? Whenever the hell it was that I deleted it the second time) but haven’t delivered at all.

I now envision this universe as a duology plus the aforementioned standalone sequel, except it’s not entirely fair to call it a YA duology in that the first book is definitely YA, but the second is more romance-y?

I originally just revealed the main character’s endgame relationship in the epilogue of the story, but I love both her and her boyfriend and their relationship so much that I decided that I’m going to be self-indulgent and write the story of them actually falling in love with each other, so that’s book two (so really, you don’t actually have to read book two to understand anything, I’m just writing it because I want to and it’s also kind of a present to anyone who read the original story when they were also a teenager and is now an adult who wants to read other stuff).

Book one is now about the teenage struggle of crushes and trying to figure out what it is that you actually want out of your life and what you value (I say “now” because it was definitely way more self-insert-y the first time I wrote it and it is decidedly not at this point). It’s also sort of a love letter to trainers who are amazing and the kind of person we should all be so lucky as to be coached by.

These characters are my comfort characters where original fiction is concerned since they’ve been bouncing around in my head for the last ten years or so, and I’m hoping I can get at least the first book rewritten in the next year-ish, partly because I’ve been promising it for so long, and partly because I just really enjoy this world and I want to get back to it again.

The Coffee Shop Chronicles

AKA, I lived in one coffee shop on my university campus for pretty much the entirety of my college experience and it was a very inspiring place to be, so this has less to do with coffee shop AUs and more to do with the fact that I met several of my favorite human beings on this earth over a vanilla chai latte and mutual sass with the baristas.

(One of said baristas is very near and dear to me and introduced me to another regular who is now a very good friend with the statement “You’re both sarcastic assholes. You’ll love each other.”)

None of the characters in this universe are based on actual human beings whom I know, but I liked the idea of the campus coffee shop serving as this thing that tangentially connected all of these people to one another, much in the way that I am tangentially connected to god knows how many people via my barista friend. Essentially, the idea is that the stories in this universe are all standalone, but the characters sometimes cross paths with one another at Caffeinated, so it’s sort of... Easter-egg-y in terms of who pops up where in which story.

Currently I only have two stories in this universe that are legitimately plotted out, but there is room for any number of spin-offs based on whichever characters show up in those stories (or don’t—that’s the fun of it being a coffee shop. The barista is the only reliable character). Those two stories are as follows:

Chance Encounters (title so totally subject to change, also stealing the terribly summary from the Wattpad draft that never saw the light of day):

For Bennett McGuire, things with guys just didn't seem to want to go her way. From the disasters that were her attempts at dating in high school to the problem that had been Elijah Becker, she hadn't exactly had the best luck. With all that in mind, it made perfect sense to swear off dating until she finished college—that is, it made sense until one frozen day in February when Gordon Evans walked into her life. After that, who was to say what would happen?

What’s Your Metaphor? (once again, enjoy the terrible summary from the Wattpad draft that never was. I am cringing reading it but also too tired to come up with anything better):

"What's the point?"

It's a question asked widely, for all sorts of reasons, and it's one that April Hayes didn't know the answer to any better than anyone else. All she knew was that she had her plan, and she was going to stick to it, because it was the only thing that seemed to have any sort of logic to it in her life. The things she thought, the things she believed—well, they all fell before the plan, because she didn't have time to ask herself "What's the point?"

That is, she didn't have the time to know the answer—her answer—until one guy by the name of Drew Collier showed up and made her consider things that she had never even thought of before.

High Blood

Yinz can go read my WIP introduction post for this one. It’s a fantasy story. Just for the hell of it, here’s the summary from said WIP introduction post:

At the age of seventeen, Thessaly of Averak had a choice—take the crown of her people and her place as her father’s heir, or set it aside to become one of the High Warriors, dedicated to protecting their people and the country that her long-dead ancestor Enred built after leading its citizens out of a long and bloody war. Amidst raids and famine at the borders, she gave up her crown to better serve the people that her family rules.

Ten years later, all is quiet. At least, all is quiet until Beca’s pendant is stolen by a thief who disappears into the night on the journey back from the summer palace, Tess gets herself stabbed, and the discovery is made that the rock-solid foundations of their family’s claim to the throne—and the peace that depends upon them—are laced with hairline fractures.

(I didn’t write anything to speak of for Camp NaNo July 2020 and actually wound up deleting my project for this on the NaNo site because my dad was hit by a car while cycling the Friday before the weekend when I was planning to write like... 30k words to catch up, so obviously I gave up on that plan (he is doing well now, thank you for asking). I’m hoping I’ll get around to this one eventually because this particular universe arguably has the most potential for having multiple stories set in it, fantasy-wise.)

Emerson’s Lights

Natalie Flynn has been best friends with Evan Acheson practically since birth. They've stuck together through thick and thin, from her braces in seventh grade to his jump to stardom as a singer-songwriter their freshman year of college.

She’d do anything for him, but spending a week with him on tour involves a lot more than she bargained for, culminating in the turn of events that is Caleb Blake, lead singer and primary songwriter of opening act Emerson’s Lights, moving into her house for the better part of a month.

She always knew there would be complications being the best friend of a rock star, but this? This was one that she didn’t bet on.

(Aka, girl meets boy in a band trope. Yay.)

(NaNoWriMo 2020 project)

The famous musician story (this thing doesn’t have a title right now and I’m not even going to try)

Stupid, trope-y nonsense idea that I came up with for my own personal amusement and nothing else. I’ve written a few chapters of it but genuinely have no idea where this falls in the hierarchy of things that I want to get done. Long story short, she’s in grad school for history, he’s a famous musician in town recording for a new album, they meet in the library, she pretends she has no idea who he is, and shenanigans ensue.

And that is where I think I’m going to leave it. There’s four other stories that I can think of off the top of my head that I could theoretically add to this list, but they are legitimately just ideas right now so they can be added at a later date when they’ve manifested themselves a little more strongly. There’s also another quartet in the Willow Hill universe that I came up with in high school that could theoretically be added but I think I might just steal those character names and give them their own little world instead. We’ll see.

Basically, if you didn’t get the point from this list: I am working on a lot of things, and when I say I’m writing, it could mean literally anything on this list (or any of the other ideas that I have floating around). The stories/universe here are the most likely candidates for my time, depending on whether I’m doing a deep dive into my writing or just playing around with something fun, and hopefully (god, hopefully) I’ll be able to move one or two of these to a “completed works” list in the next year(ish).

(Or at least, as complete as a draft ever gets before you start going in on it again.)

#the wip list

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acsversace-news · 7 years ago

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Ryan Murphy hates the word “camp.” He sees it as a lazy catchall that gets thrown at gay artists in order to marginalize their ambitions, to frame their work as niche. “I don’t think that when John Waters made ‘Female Trouble’ that he was, like, ‘I want to make a camp piece,’ ” Murphy told me last May, as we sat in a production tent in South Beach, Florida, where he was directing the pilot of “American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace,” a nine-episode series for FX. “I think that he was, like, ‘It’s my tone—and my tone is unique.’ ”

Murphy prefers a different label: “baroque.” Between shots, the showrunner—who has overseen a dozen television series in the past two decades—elaborated, with regal authority, on this idea. To Murphy, “camp” describes not irony but something closer to clumsiness, the accident you can’t look away from. People rarely use the term to describe a melodrama made by a straight man; even when “camp” is meant as a compliment, it contains an insult, suggesting a musty smallness. “Baroque” is big. Murphy, referring to TV critics (including me) who have applied “camp” to his work, said, “I will admit that it really used to bug the shit out of me. But it doesn’t anymore.”

We were outside the Casa Casuarina, the Mediterranean-style mansion that the Italian fashion designer Gianni Versace renovated and considered his masterwork—a building with airy courtyards and a pool inlaid with dizzy ribbons of red, orange, and yellow ceramic tiles. A small bronze statue of a kneeling Aphrodite stood at the top of the mansion’s front steps. In 1997, a young gay serial killer named Andrew Cunanan shot Versace to death there as the designer, who was fifty, was returning from his morning stroll.

The previous day, Murphy had filmed the murder scene. Cunanan was played by Darren Criss, a star of Murphy’s biggest hit, “Glee.” I’d visited the set that day, too, arriving to find ambulances, cops, and paparazzi swarming outside. There was a splash of red on the marble steps. Inside the house, Edgar Ramirez, the Venezuelan actor playing Versace, sat in a shaded courtyard, his hair caked with gun-wound makeup, his face lowered in his hands.

Now Murphy was filming the aftermath of the crime, including a scene in which two lookie-loos dip a copy of Vanity Fair into the puddle of Versace’s blood. (They sell the relic on eBay.) The vibe was an odd blend of sombre and festive; a half-naked rollerblader spun in slow circles on the sidewalk next to the beach. Murphy, who is fifty-three, is a stylish man, but on set he wore the middle-aged male showrunner’s uniform: baggy cargo shorts and a polo shirt. He has a rosebud mouth and close-cropped vanilla hair. He is five feet ten but has a brawny air of command, creating the illusion that he is much taller. His brother is six feet four, he told me, as was his late father; Murphy thinks that his own growth was stunted by chain-smoking when he was a rebellious teen-ager, in Indiana.

Murphy’s mood tends to shift unexpectedly, like a wonky thermostat—now warm, now icy—but on the “Versace” set he made one confident decision after another about the many shows he was overseeing, as if skipping stones. He also answered stray questions—about the casting for a Broadway revival of “The Boys in the Band” that he was producing, about a grand house in Los Angeles that he’d been renovating for two years. “Ooh, yes!” he said, inspecting penis-nosed clown masks that had been designed for his series “American Horror Story.” He approved a bespoke nail-polish design for an actress. A producer handed Murphy an updated script, joking, “If there’s a mistake, you can drown me in Versace’s pool!,” then scheduled a notes meeting for “American Crime Story: Katrina,” whose writers were working elsewhere in the building. Now and then, Murphy FaceTimed with his then four-year-old son, Logan, who, along with his two-year-old brother, Ford, was in L.A. with Murphy’s husband, David Miller.

“I never get overwhelmed or feel underwater, because I feel like all good things come from detail,” Murphy told me. It’s what got him to this point: the compulsion, and the craving, to do more. “Baroque is a sensibility I can get behind,” he said. “Baroque is a maximalist approach to storytelling that I’ve always liked. Baroque is a choice. And everything I do is an absolute choice.”

Murphy’s choices, perhaps more than those of any other showrunner, have upended the pieties of modern television. Like a wild guest at a dinner party, he’d lifted the table and slammed it back down, leaving the dishes broken or arranged in a new order. Several of Murphy’s shows have been critically divisive (and, on occasion, panned in ways that have raised his hackles). But he has produced an unusually long string of commercial and critical hits: audacious, funny-peculiar, joyfully destabilizing series, in nearly every genre. His run started with the satirical melodrama “Nip/Tuck” (2003), then continued with the global phenomenon “Glee” (2009) and with “American Horror Story,” now entering its eighth year, which launched the influential season-long anthology format. His legacy is not one standout show but, rather, the sheer force and variety and chutzpah of his creations, which are linked by a singular storytelling aesthetic: stylized extremity and rude humor, shock conjoined with sincerity, and serious themes wrapped in circus-bright packaging. He is the only television creator who could possibly have presented Lily Rabe as a Satan-possessed nun, gyrating in a red negligee in front of a crucifix while singing “You Don’t Own Me,” and have it come across as an indelible critique of the Catholic Church’s misogyny.

When Murphy entered the industry, he sometimes struck his peers as an aloof, prickly figure; he has deep wounds from those years, although he admits that he contributed to this reputation. Nonetheless, Murphy has moved steadily from the margins to television’s center. He changed; the industry changed; he changed the industry. In February, Murphy rose even higher, signing the largest deal in television history: a three-hundred-million-dollar, five-year contract with Netflix. For Murphy, it was a moment of both triumph and tension. You can’t be the underdog when you’re the most powerful man in TV.

On that sunny afternoon in South Beach, however, Murphy was still comfortably ensconced in a twelve-year deal with Fox Studios. On FX, which is owned by Fox, he had three anthology series: “American Horror Story”; “American Crime Story,” for which he was filming “Versace,” writing “Katrina,” and planning a season based on the Monica Lewinsky scandal; and “Feud,” whose first season starred Susan Sarandon as Bette Davis and Jessica Lange as Joan Crawford.

For Fox, he was developing “9-1-1,” a procedural about first responders. He had announced two shows for Netflix: “Ratched,” a nurse’s-eye view of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest,” starring Sarah Paulson; and “The Politician,” a satirical drama starring Ben Platt. Glenn Close was trying to talk him into directing her in a movie version of the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical “Sunset Boulevard.” Murphy was writing a book called “Ladies,” about female icons. He had launched Half, a foundation dedicated to diversity in directing, and had committed to hiring half of his directors from underrepresented groups. And, he told me, there was something new: a series for FX called “Pose,” a dance-filled show set in the nineteen-eighties.

It was no mystery which character in his current series Murphy most identified with: Gianni Versace himself. Versace was a commercially minded artist whose brash inventions were dismissed by know-nothings as tacky, and whose openness about his sexuality threatened his ascent in a homophobic era. Versace, too, was a baroque maximalist, Murphy told me, who built his reputation through fervid workaholism—an insistence that his vision be seen and understood. “He was punished and he struggled,” Murphy said, then spoke in Versace’s voice: “Why aren’t I loved for my excess? Why don’t they see something valid in that?”

[...] Murphy has long been a connoisseur of extremes and hyperbole, games and theatricality. He rates everything he sees and revels in institutions that do the same—the Oscars are a kind of religion for him. In Miami, at dinner with the “Katrina” and “Versace” writers, he played a high-stakes game in which he was forced to immediately choose one person in his circle over another; he demurred only when the choice was between Jessica Lange and Sarah Paulson. His go-to question is “Is it a hit or a flop?,” and he asked it about every show that came up in conversation, as I observed him giving shape to “Pose,” from scouting locations to editing dance footage. (He has other stock phrases. “What’s the scoop?” is how he begins writers’ meetings. “Energy begets energy” explains his impulse to add new projects. “That’s interesting” sometimes indicates “That’s worth noticing” but just as often means “That’s infuriating.”)

[...] His multitasking benefits greatly from the freedoms of cable and streaming: he has zero nostalgia for the twenty-two-episode network grind of a show like “Glee,” in which “halfway through Episode 15 you had nothing left to say, the actors were sick, the writers were sick, and it was fucking oatmeal until the end.” He favors eight or ten episodes, often with a small writers’ room, as with “Pose.” He writes scripts for some shows, whereas for others he gives notes; on a few projects, like his HBO adaptation of Larry Kramer’s play “The Normal Heart,” he’s very hands-on. “We left blood on the dance floor,” Murphy said, affectionately, of his three-year collaboration with Kramer. “Versace” had one writer, Tom Rob Smith. But Murphy provided close directorial, design, and casting oversight, and he had a strong commitment to the show’s themes, particularly the contrast between Versace and Cunanan, two gay men craving success, but only one willing to work for it.

[...] In the meanwhile, Murphy had scored a ratings bonanza with Fox’s “9-1-1,” a wackadoo procedural featuring stories like one about a baby caught in a plumbing pipe. It was his parting gift to Dana Walden. “Versace” had been, by certain standards, a flop: lower ratings, mixed reviews. Artistically, though, it was one of Murphy’s boldest shows, with a backward chronology and a moving performance by Criss as Cunanan, a panicked dandy hollowed out by self-hatred. After the finale aired, a new set of reviews emerged. Matt Brennan, on Paste, argued that “Versace” had been subjected to “the straight glance”—a critical gaze that skims queer art, denying its depths. “Even critics sympathetic to the series seem as uncomfortable with its central subject as the Miami cops were with those South Beach fags,” Brennan wrote. Murphy was reading a new oral history of Tony Kushner’s “Angels in America,” in which, in one scene, Roy Cohn denies being gay because, he barks, homosexuals lack power: they are “men who know nobody and who nobody knows.” The line echoes one in “Versace.” A homeless junkie dying of aids tells the cops, bitterly, why gay men couldn’t stop talking about the designer: “We all imagined what it would be like to be so rich and so powerful that it doesn’t matter that you’re gay.”

#acs versace #ryan murphy #the new yorker #interview #article #may 2018

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autumn-in-phandom · 7 years ago

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“Did Dan get TOO TAN?”

(Sept 19th 2017 Dan liveshow timestamps)

0:03 After an awkward pause and salute: “Hello cyber friends” (instant regret and reflection)

0:29 (Dear god, don’t grab your laptop by the screen like that Dan.)

0:44 Grimace #1

1:06 No Dan, you do not look *atol* different. That tweet, title and pic are all just clickbait.

1:10 (Bronze my ass.)

1:19 Hitting us with that meme.

1:25 (Didn’t need to be in your face thanks. Teasing angles?)

1:36 “Never say Trumpy ever again, in any circumstance.”

1:45 Lovely pores and freckles.

2:00 Obviously everyone subscribes to YouTubers for their freckle content.

2:30 Livestreams are “a mistake” because of the chat clinging on to one thing and spamming it.

2:40 No probing or questioning at airport, big grin.

3:01 “The broadband is terrible but the 4G is great.” Okay…

3:17 “The toasty Dan experience”, orangish filter.

3:26 Double rhyme: “I guess that’s a rhyme, yeah that’s fine” (okay it’s a slant rhyme)

3:47 “Buttered crumpet Daniel.”

4:02 “Went to an island in the Mediterranean.” (This is exactly the answer I expected and quite frankly the only one he should give.)

4:09 “Literally did nothing for about six days, it was great.”

4:15 ‘I am Pilgrim’ book recommended by his mum.

4:30 Tricked into reading 900 page book.

5:00 Holiday was incredibly relaxing.

5:10 “Ordeal” getting there, delayed flight, three hours “traumatizing”

5:22 “Haha long boye” “literally, shins driving into my chest, bleeding” alright hyperbolic humor Dan. “Tough.”

5:38 “Violated” on flight by guy’s elbows, “no respect for personal space”, “fully leaning into me”, “didn’t even care”, “honestly an icon for all of us.” (Was it Phil?)

6:03 3 am, old driver, mini bus, cliff roads, did pre-ritual preparing for death.

7:00 “So much yogurt”, doesn’t know why.

7:05 “Assaggetti” tweet, we can shame him, “has the worst sense of humor in the world”, check it out and unsubscribe, doesn’t remember the language (Italian), apologizes, “constantly problematic”.

7:55 “Got that D from the S up above” (vitamin D, or Phil…)

8:16 Phil came on the holiday in case anyone didn’t know.

8:18 “He went from like glass to pale ivory, which is good”, “Phil is someome who erupts in freckles whenever he goes outside, so it’s hard to tell if he tans or if your eyes are just kinda like drawing the dots between the space all the freckles are, if you know what I’m saying.” (Wow, I… I’d like to think you mean what I know, but I’m not sure. Wow.)

8:37 Someone in the chat: “Nice Ursa Major on that cheek boy”. Turn, pose, laugh.

8:41 “The Bigger Dipper of my self esteem.”

8:53 Good day: watched Bake Off and answered emails, “thrilling”.

9:13 Tumblr likes, fan art, “beautiful to celebrate the great people.”

9:43 “The internet is not here”, laughs, sighs, apologizes.

9:55 Some peer pressure advice.

10:25 Had to check what his video title is.

10:35 I don’t know why he bothers to ask if we watched either.

10:55 Accept that he does things by his British calendar.

11:11 Why he didn’t he talk about uni stories when it was happening. Ashamed? Yeah, processing turmoil at the time.

11:55 Now shares traumatizing, terrifying, shameful, embarrassing stories straight away.

12:15 Rowing club guy AU… (not what I was thinking)

12:46 Laundry story: Phil was nice, Dan didn’t ask, *literally* ordered a cab, turned up with suitcase, Phil assumed he dropped out and was moving in, “I’ve had a day and I’m going to wash my socks in your washing machine.”

13:13 “If you struggle to function as a person-” (I really wish he had finished this sentence)

13:15 Asda sponsor for crying in the cheese aisle?

13:23 Pasta burn shaming (were you just never in the kitchen with your mum Dan?)

13:36 Dropping laptop so much recently.

14:00 Never taught cooking, laundry, accounting.

14:18 “No one told me shit!” (in Dan’s face again).

14:33 “What happens when I’m 23?! How do I do a tax?!”

14:54 It was ravioli (pretty sure the instructions mentioned water Dan…)

15:15 Thick as in stupid, not thicc fat booty.

15:30 “Look Fatima, we all have different life experiences, okay?” (lol)

15:36 “Ravioli ravioli, give me the death I deserveioli.” Relates.

15:45 Rihanna livestream, forehead fetishist? Wouldn’t mind if anyone leaves for that.

16:08 Not up on BTS, DNA.

16:33 Shames Eden for “let me see that pastussy” comment, “leave.”

16:45 “Love on the Brain”. He really loves Rihanna, amazing, blessing, doesn’t give a shit, casual, informal, etc. “Bitch Better Have My Money.”

17:25 Is sure BTS video with be “pure and beautiful”, expects “softly applied eyeshadow and very fluffy hair”, he’s sure he’ll enjoy.

17:38 Maybe new gaming video/livestream tomorrow.

17:45 Overcooked, ironic kitchen fire, foreshadowing.

18:08 Wasn’t sure if he should get into Chinese guy story again, but he has to.

18:13 Deep breath: “It was 4 am, I’d been you know, well hydrated that evening, but I decided I needed another drink” go into the kitchen, everyone else was asleep, guy had a whole chicken, with neck and feet, fine but surprising, tiniest pair of white y-fronts, hacked head off and made eye contact, just couldn’t, usually would awaken some kink in him…

19:39 Pool pic, shout out to friend, no consent, relaxing, absorbing sun like a lizard, *basking*, fell asleep, lucky it was a pool and he didn’t drift out to sea, sun stroke vid reference, “the bad tan”.

21:08 People saying “trying to be cute”, the double chins (really?!)

21:21 The least Dan-like photo.

21:33 Thought it would ruin his Instagram aesthetic.

22:10 Lack of other content: relaxing, reading,

22:24 Took a couple other photos, sunset selfie, “no one’s going to take a photo of me” (what the hell happened to your personal photographer?) but then people came (please post, please!)

23:40 Bake off is his life, “Noel Feilding is a national treasure”, caramel was torture while hungry, faves are Liam and not!Val (what did he whisper about Liam? Really wanted him to be…?)

24:30 *Maybe* Halloween Baking, they don’t think that far ahead about anything.

24:48 Phil’s role in Dan’s video, mugging scene took nine takes, afraid to punch him. Outtakes please!

26:03 (grimace #2) “Hello Grandma, my name is Daniel, I’m a wholesome person, that’s a very great influence”

26:16 Wachowski films

26:23 Dan floating in donut plushies would be very challenging.

26:33 Dan flips a bit at the idea that’s it’s weird to like people who don’t know who you are. Uses Ed Sheeran as example.

26:55 Scrolls past person who said they feel better when they have a dream about Dan and Phil.

27:17 Cared more about YouTube than university socializing and class, Pom Bear Massacre reference, made Tumblr account.

29:09 Chapped lips, season changed the moment he stepped off the plane.

29:42 “Okay Universe, I know I can be a bit of a downer, sometimes.”

29:51 Haley Barry Storm powers

30:08 Yes the furry blanket comes out, polyester, sad pimp, Marks & Spencer.

31:06 Ready for everything seasonal, autumnal Yankee Candle range, not haute, but fun themes.

31:31 Frisbee laptop across the room on to the bed, missed.

31:46 Candle haul, yes it is content we need right now!

32:26 Furry invasion on Splatoon, scaley, yiffing proposition, “this is a family game”, not shaming just concerned for kids, though it is hentai-esque…

33:27 Sonic: 2010 reminiscing, formatting of boxes.

34:04 Was stupid side kick, Phil being good, Dan trying to be helpful, actual just a cheerleader, Phil was disgusting, doesn’t know if Phil even knew what he was saying (of course he did).

34:38 Didn’t know uni vid was trending

34:52 Reflection (I think that’s the piano nook)

35:00 Weird because of swearing, someone at YT didn’t watch the vid, “Ah, keep doing that, don’t watch my videos, just know that I’m a good person…”

35:25 “I make great friendly content.” (grimace #3)

35:30 Explains why trending isn’t automatic. Yes, think of the children.

36:05 “But hey, I’m not bad, everything’s fine”.

36:45 “People of all genders do and don’t wear makeup”.

37:10 (I’m pretty sure that the no candles with birds is because of the fumes.)

37:25 What is with the nose touching when confirming Spooky Week? “Next video (nose touch) soon, don’t worry”…?

38:28 “Fans of everything are annoying, that’s just what happens when people are enthusiastic about stuff.”

39:19 Dan doesn’t get annoyed by different fandoms. Says more about the people being annoyed, part of their own insecurity, their lack of community, togetherness, celebration, shared experiences, jealous or sad, or maybe everyone just everyone’s annoying.

39:56 Dream Daddy: so dangerous saying Dilddy. Dan likes Damien, great taste, immaculate presentation, probably not Dilddy’s romantic soulmate.

40:31 Dan is in like ten fandoms (makes a face).

40:45 Chat: “Will Phil become a furry, what’s your fursona?” Dan: “Is it time to go?”

40:55 Has never thought about it, promises he’ll get on it soon, he knows what the internet wants from him.

41:31 Chat full of fursona suggestions. He’s going to start crying.

41:52 “A llama fucking hell.” “Look at the time.”

42:01 Going to go into a (not disturbing) hole later looking into axoltl fur suits.

42:24 Elf on a shelf meme, was going to post a Dan one, “old meme!” (Still don’t need to be up in your face Daniel.)

43:27 Really wants to go see IT, needs to see Mother.

44:04 Shut up! American Horror Story, makes him happy. Loves Sarah Paulson (is his life), feels represented by a lesbian with anxiety. Evan Peters is great, looks gross, or great depending.

45:25 His fursona should be a big bear, I agree. What a reaction.

45:46 Left comb on holiday, looks like a bush.

46:13 (grimace #4 at group chat names.)

46:20 “What is wrong with all of you?”

46:22 Glosses over diet ask. Indeed.

46:26 “Don’t call me Uncle Dan when we’re talking about fursonas.”

46:36 “If you live in Australia vote for marriage equality, we don’t need to have this conversation.” “Come on, come on Australia, sort your shit out.”

47:03 Going to “innocently Google things that are fine”.

47:22 “Me and Phil would love to come to Russia”.

47:27 Limitations of TATINOF.

47:44 Watch uni vid: “Don’t take it too seriously. Remember that most of the time I’m just trying to be funny, and if you ever want like my real feelings or opinions, just think about whatever the opposite of what I’m saying is, and that’s usually how to get to the sincere heart of whatever Dan’s talking about.”

48:13 “Stay calm, ask some senpais for some life advice and think carefully about what your fursona should be.”

#phan #dan liveshow #dan and phil #dan livestream #dnp timestamps

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runawayylove · 8 years ago

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The A-Z Of Questions Quiz Survey A – Accidents 01. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes many actually. 🙄 02. Do you have a lot of scars? I have quite a few. 03. Have you ever been in a fist fight with someone? lol yes. 04. Have you ever seriously hurt anyone by mistake? Yes. 05. Have you ever had stitches? Where? No thank God. B – Beauty 06. Do you consider yourself beautiful? I'm working on believing it. 07. Are you self conscious of how you look? In some ways yes. 08. Do you put on a lot of makeup? Not anymore. 09. Would you ever consider getting plastic surgery? Hell yeah. 10. What do you think makes a person beautiful? Their personalities and the way they treat themselves and other people. C – Consequences 11. What was the longest amount of time you’ve been grounded for? Never been grounded. 12. What would you do if you got pregnant, keep it or have an abortion? Lol keep it. 13. Do you ever think about how your actions affect other people? Now that I've grown up, yes. 14. What do you think is the worst punishment someone could give you? Taking away my cell phone. 😂 15. What is one thing you wish you didn’t do, just because it wasn’t worth it in the end? Hmm I don't have anything in mind. Everything happends for a reason. D – Dealing 16. When you are mad at someone, how do you show them? Lol, I def let them know. 17. Name a time when you had to be strong. Losing my dad, I'm still trying to be strong over it. 18. Have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting? Any kind of abuse at home? Nope none. 19. When people at school don’t accept you, or have problems with you, how do you react? When I was in school it did upset me, I would laugh about it now. 20. Have you ever lost someone to death? Unfortunately Explain how you got through it. You don't get through it, every day is a struggle, you just slowly learn how to deal with it. E – Experience 21. Have you ever had a job? Any volunteer jobs? I have a job now. 22. Do you think that you are sexually experienced, or not at all? Lol def experienced. Ask my fiancé 😏 23. Have you gone through a lot emotionally, or has life been easy thus far? Def been through a lot, but it's made me who I am today. 24. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? Already am. 25. How old do you act? Lmao I don't know. F – Family 26. Is there anyone in your family you don’t talk to? Why? My dads side. Long story. 27. If you had to choose, family or friends? Family. 28. Can you tell your parents or one of your parents anything? I tell my mom everything, just like I could tell my dad anything. 29. Do you have any siblings? If so, do you ever get jealous of them? 1 brother and nope we're close as hell. 30. How often do you spend ‘quality time’ with family members? Often actually. G – Growing 31. How tall are you? How tall do you wish you were 5'3 and height doesn't matter. 32. Do you think that you have grown more in the past year than any year before that? Grown up yes. 33. As a person, do you think you are mature for your age or still act childish? Mature. I have a baby I have to be mature. 34. Are you scared to think that one day you will turn 30, then 40, then 50? Umm yes. 35. Do you believe you still have a lot to learn? Of course everyone does. H – Hope 36. Love – real or not? REAL. 💍 37. Are you a pessimist of an optimist? I would like to say optimist. 38. Do you believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, or do you think that our actions lead the way? I believe everything happends for a reason. Fate. 39. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? I sure hope so. 40. What gives you hope when you just feel like dying? My daughter, my fiancé, and my family. I – Issues 41. Do you suffer from depression or constant sadness/loneliness? No. 42. Do you have any type of disease or disability? Just anxiety. 43. Are you currently in a hard relationship or have bad luck with the opposite sex? No I'm happier then I've ever been. I'm freaking getting married in 8 days! 👰🏻 44. Do you think that you are alone in this world? No. 45. How often do you think about death, suicide or running away? I don't anymore. J – Jokes 46. Say a word or phrase that would not be funny to anyone but you & of your friends (an inside joke) Hmm I don't know? 47. Are you usually the one who makes people laugh,Or the other way around? Both. 48. Do you cry when you laugh hard? Omg yes. 49. Write down a hilarious moment you had with someone that makes you laugh to this day! Too many to name. 50. Do you ever get in trouble for laughing or talking a lot during class? Never did no. K – Knowledge 51. The purpose of school: to learn, to cause trouble or to hang out with friends? Learn. 52. Do people refer to you as smart, dumb, or average? Lmao they refer me to a blonde. 😂 53. What was the highest grade you have received (full course mark) ever? A. 54. What was your last average? This year would you like to maintain it or aim higher? Not in school. 55. What do you find the most interesting subject to be (to study or to talk about)? None. L – Love 56. Are you currently in love? If not, have you been before? Yes I'm def in love. 57. Do people around you show you a lot of love (tell you they love you, hug you, kiss you, etc.)? My fiancé can't keep her hands off me. 😏 58. Is love worth it? Def esp when your with the right person. 59. Do you hate it when girls in their young teenage years say they ‘love’ someone that they’ve been dating for a few months? No. I knew Kate was the one right away. 60. Does it take a lot for you to say you love someone, or is it just a word? Not with Kate I just knew. ❤️ M – Money 61. Do you believe that money makes the world go round? In some ways. 62. Is your family on the poor side, average, or above average when it comes to money? Average. 63. Are you saving up for college/university, or planning to? For my daughter yes she has a college fund. 64. Would you rather win millions of dollars & be set for life, or find the perfect person to marry & start a family with? Perfect person of course. 65. On a scale of 1-10, how important is money to you? 10. N – Naughty 66. Are you a virgin? Lmao. 67. What do you think about doing sexual things with someone you’re not going out with? I've done it. 68. Do you know anybody you consider a ’slut’? What makes you say that? No. 69. If you could, would you erase some things you did in the past or make it so you did more? Erase certain people yes. 70. Do you consider yourself more nice or more naughty? You can’t say both! Naughty. 😏 O – Openness 71. How long does it take for you to open up to someone? Awhile. 72. What does it take for you to fully trust someone? Being with the right person. 73. Are you generally untrusting towards people because of past experiences, or any other reason? I was in the beginning. Now I trust Kate with my entire life. 74. When are you comfortable with someone sexually? More than comfortable. 😏 75. When it comes to parents and close friends, what’s the limit of what you can tell them? Anything. P – Positive 76. Have you ever had an experience with someone that didn’t necessarily end positively? If so, would you rather erase the memory of that person because of the sad times or keep the memory of that person because of the good times? Yes, erase completely please. 77. Do you agree with the saying: better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all? In some ways. 78. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? What do you try to be? Optimistic. 79. Do you agree that something good can come out of everything? In some ways. 80. Have you ever had a time where something really bad happened, but something really good happened because no of it? If so, please explain, what it was: lmao meeting the love of my life after the mistake of my life. She's the best thing to ever happen to me besides my daughter. ❤️ Q – Questions 81. When faced with a problem, do you ask for help or try to figure it out yourself? Figure it out myself. 82. Do you often question the world and how we came about? What are some things you would like to know about creation? I do question life sometimes and all about meaning. 83. Do you think the government is truthful? If you could ask the president one question, what would it be? I'm scared of that answer. And nothing I don't want to talk to the president. 84. When someone does something wrong to you, do you confront them and ask them why they did it or just let it go? Confront of course. 85. What is one unsolved mystery about the world that you want answers to? Why death. Why not live forever. R – Respect 86. How do you show respect? With emotions and effort. 87. What can someone do for you to lose all respect for them? Talk shit. 88. Do you respect your teachers, parents, and other authority figures? Yes. 89. When you are disrespectful to your parents, what is the punishment? None lol. 90. If someone is mean to you, are you mean back or do you kill them with kindness? Mean back. 😂 S – School 91. If you are still in school, what grade will you be going into?None. 92. When will you graduate high school/college? Done with school. 93. After high school, what did you do/are you planning to do? We'll see what the future holds. 94. Do you like or hate school? What do you like/hate about it? Hate school always have. 95. Have you ever been suspended, expelled, or dropped out of school? Suspended lol. T – Temptation 96. Have you ever done something wrong, knowing it was wrong, because something inside of you said it was okay? lol yes. 97. Has anyone ever pressured you to smoke or drink? Did you do it? No. Never. 98. Did you ever cheat on someone? Why did you do it? Yes, I wasn't in love and was unhappy. 99. Did you ever want to do something sexual with someone you didn’t really know or love? I've done it. What did you end up doing? Everything . 100. Do you give in to temptation easily, or are you more independent and strong willed? It depends. U – Unique 102. Do you do a lot of things because your friends are doing it? No. 103. Do you follow trends, wear whatever you want, or wear really unique pieces? I wear whatever I want. 104. Do you give in easily to peer pressure? Do you do things such as smoke, drink, or have casual sex? Lol no. I drink, and have casual sex, lol I'm in adult. 105. What makes you different from people your age? Having a kid. Getting married. V – Value 106. What’s the most expensive thing in your room? My tv. 107. What’s more valuable: your life or the lives of your loved ones? Would you sacrifice your life for other people? The lives of my loved ones. Of course I would give my life to my loved ones. 108. What is something you value not because it cost a lot, but because it means a lot to you? My engagement ring. 💍 109. If there was a fire in your house/apartment, what is the first thing you would grab? 110. Do you think past memories and experiences are more valuable than what could possibly happen in the future? Hell no. W – Wishes 111. If you had three wishes, what would they be? Having my dad be alive, I would use all 3 wishes on that. 112. Would you rather wish yourself to be happy, or your loved ones? My loved ones. 113. Do you believe that wishes come true if you really believe in them? I would like to think that. 114. Have you ever had a wish come true? If so, what was that wish? Yes, my daughter is my wish come true and Kate was my wish come true. She completed my fairytale. 115. Do you find wishing for things a waste of time because everything that’s meant to happen, will happen? No I always wish on stars. Y – You 121. Are you more independent or social? Social. 122. What is something that makes you very mad when you see it? Animal cruelty. 123. Do you think that you have potential to do great things? Of course. 124. Do you think people are born a certain way, or develop their personalities based on what they go through in life? Develop their personalities for sure. 125. Do you think people are generally good ? I am not sure anymore with what's going on in the world. Z – Zest 126. Are you currently happy with your life? Why or why not? Yes. I have a beautiful daughter and I'm getting married, and have a wonderful family and friends.

#personal for fun

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furederiko · 8 years ago

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The third and final 'Lucky Seven' date of the month (07.27.17, right?)! And the final Random-News-Digest for July! Today's R-N-D is also Part 2 (of 2) of the San Diego Comic Con International 2017 related coverage. This time around, they are all things Marvel-ous. Excelsior...!!!

NOTE: Since the whole page will be entirely Marvel related, it will be written chronologically to their SDCC schedule. Each title will also be assigned in its own category, not grouped into 'Marvel Studios' and 'Marvel TV' like I've always done. Oh, and the images used above are obviously courtesy of The Hollywood Reporter and Marvel Studios Visual Development Team (that one's Ryan Meinerding's art to be precise). All credits goes to their respective owners! Long story short, I suffered a blackout TWO times when I was writing this. Forcing me to start over and over again all day. That's why I haven't had time to actually proofread it (as well as the 1st Part). I'll try to do that as soon as possible, but please pardon for any tipo or grammatical error if you happen to stumble into any. Thanks in advance!

Marvel's Inhumans

Marvel TV and ABC Studios led Marvel's SDCC 2017 big panel on July 20th, by headlining "LEGION", their collaboration with FX Network. A bit odd if you ask me, considering that's a FOX product... but never mind that. Marvel TV Head Jeph Loeb then continued the presentation on 06:15 PM PST, by bringing the cast of the upcoming "Inhumans" series to same venue, Ballroom 20.

Loeb reentered while wearing that hideous Medusa's wig, a clear but hopefully unintentional attempt to spite those fans who have been criticizing it. To be honest, that was NOT a cool thing to do, especially for someone who would received an award by the SDCC commitee the day after. He welcomed showrunner the almighty Scott Buck, drector Roel Reine, and actors Anson Mount, Iwan Rheon, Serinda Swan, Eme Ikwuakor, Isabelle Cornish, Ken Leung, Ellen Woglom, Sonya Balmores, and Mike Moh, who were all holding a stuffed Lockjaw doll in their hand. The panel then showed several exclusive footage from the first couple of episodes. Some bits of those would later be released online via Marvel Entertainment's channel as a new trailer. Now about that new trailer...

Seriously?!! For the love of Lockjaw, it was indeed better with the VFX, but worse with all the ridiculous corniness and campiness that made me feel... embarassed as I seen it. And here I thought The CW's Arrowverse were already somewhat corny. And THAT song choice? Others might... like it, but it was totally NOT my cup of tea. Clearly, it was an attempt to emulate the style of James Gunn and the retro tune aspect of "Guardians of the Galaxy". But... one that failed miserably in my dictionary. It was grating so much on my nerves all through the trailer, that I had to put it on MUTE the second time I played it again (with the intention to get some screengrab, but decided to lose that thought and rinse it out of my head right away). Not only Scott Buck is faulty as a showrunner, I do think he has poor taste in style and music.

Fans got what they wanted, as in to see the VFX effects on Medusa's hair in action. Unfortunately, I have a weird STROOONG feeling that those effects, as well as the others' abilities, will be most of the VFX we'll see in the show. Why? Remember "Iron Fist"? That series had waaay too many chit-chat and dialogues, that all the cool scenes were already spoiled in its trailers. I'm concerned the same thing is happening with this show too. Since we're speaking about VFX, I wonder if this is the final product? For some reason, this felt cheap and fake. I'd be VERY surprised if Mark Kolpac and his team are the one behind this, considering the ones he developed for Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." looked way sophisticated and believable. I'd gladly take Robbie Reyes' Ghost Rider transformation scene or Daisy Johnson's quaking anytime, over what this series had shown me so far.

Apparently, this extended trailer would be played alongside Christopher Nolan's "Dunkirk" screenings on IMAX theatres. Personally? I'm not sure if that's even a wise decision, considering this didn't even scream IMAX-worthy. Then again, IMAX is paying for this show, so of course, the studio has to deliver one, right? But if you ask me to pay to see it? I'll totally pass. Once again, no disregard, but... just not my cup of tea. Marvel's "Inhumans" will debut on September 1st, 2017 on IMAX Theatre for two weeks. The same footage will then premiere with additional scenes on September 29th, 2017 on ABC.

Marvel's Runaways

This one didn't actually arrived on SDCC 2017, but the news hit the market the same day the "Inhumans" panel took place. Coincidence much? I doubt. "Runaways", the show that was once reported to be released in 2018, will be arriving MUCH sooner than expected. Hulu unveiled the Fall Premiere dates for their exclusive shows, and guess what? "Runaway" is among them, set to be released in November! Of course, it's a good news, even if I won't be able to see it. From the looks of it, this series will be even more faithful to the source material than say, "Inhumans", notable because the comic writer himself is involved directly in it. So assuming the worse happens, that "Inhumans" turns out to be a bad show, Marvel TV already has something to counter the possible negative impact by delivering this in just two months after. Who knows, this might be the show that Marvel TV and Marvel fans in general has been waiting for. I think it's safe to say we can expect that (once leaked) trailer to officially arrive very soon. All (?) 10 episodes of "Runaways" Season 1 will premiere on November 21st, 2017.

Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite

Let's take a quick detour to the game zone now. This time, for Marvel's popular crossover fighting game with CAPCOM. Yes, the highly anticipated but sadly much criticized franchise had its own dedicated panel on July 21st, 11:15 AM PST at Room 6BCF. CAPCOM used the opportunity to announce four more playable character to the core launch roster. Friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man as representative from Marvel, while Frank West of "Dead Rising", Nemesis of "Resident Evil", and Mike Haggar of "Final Fight" entered the arena from the CAPCOM side. A gameplay video featuring these characters was later debuted through the game's official channel.

It's actually a bit ironic that only ONE Marvel character was revealed in this event. Not to mention, one that is partially a SONY property. I would've expected Marvel to ask CAPCOM to at least, deliver more Marvel characters, particularly new ones that hasn't been part of the franchise like Gamora or Black Panther. Instead, all four of these characters are known to be 'veterans' in the franchise, having been featured in at least one iteration in the past. So yeah, not really a wise decision if you ask me. But who am I to argue, right? "Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite" will be released for PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC on September 19th, 2017.

Marvel's The Defenders

Netflix held their 2nd grand Hall H presentation on July 21st, 05:15 PM PST, and of course, it's for one of their most popular series: the Marvel Netflix-verse. Before the panel got to its big event, Loeb became the star of show as he was awarded with "Inkpot Award" for his excellence in comics and television. I'm not too keen on the guy anymore, but it was a good moving moment, and I'm happy for him.

It didn't take long for the spotlight to be taken away from him though, because actor Jon Bernthal showed up, stealing all attention as the panel's first surprise. He also delivered the first exclusive footage from his upcoming series, Marvel's "The Punisher" (is it... this one?). From what I've read online, the team behind this show had successfully and also faithfully continued Frank Castle's arc from Marvel's "Daredevil" Season 2. I got the feeling, that they have managed to create an amazing balance to Castle's dual emotional struggle. One of his loneliness and grieve over losing his beloved family, and one that is anger and vengeance and he mercilessly track down those who are responsible for it. Sure, the big boss of said violent operation was already executed in "Daredevil", but he DID bring an army to do the crime. That means more people for Castle to hunt!

I still think it's a fatal mistake that he's not included as a fifth member of "The Defenders". He could have added an entirely new dark and gritty color to the team, especially because everyone knows he's waaaay more welcomed than one of its core members. I can't help but wonder though, was Bernthal's presence in the panel, served as a subtle confirmation that he would be in it after all? Not to mention, that recent Netflix Korea featurette (that felt special because it's personally narrated by the great Stan Lee) also included his character. I think he'll be a great addition to the team-up mini-series, and I'd be pretty disappointed if he doesn't even show up... at least for a minor supporting role. Oh well, fans of Castle can still wait for "The Punisher" when it arrives in November.

Cast for "The Defenders" then reclaimed their stage, alongside showrunner Marco Ramirez. All four lead actors, Charlie Cox of "Daredevil", Krysten Ritter of Marvel's "Jessica Jones", Mike Colter of Marvel's "Luke Cage", and Finn Jones of Marvel's "Iron Fist" were obviously present. Deborah Ann Woll from "Daredevil", and Jessica Henwick from "Iron Fist" represented the supporting cast. And Elodie Yung of "Daredevil" was there with Sigourney Weaver as the mini-series antagonists. They teased some bits of the plot, but more importantly debuted a new official second trailer for attendees to see. This one felt more clearer, as Weaver's Alexandra dished out her goal and intention to New York. It showed more ass-kicking action, and more importantly, the characters bouncing off one another in their personal quirks. That's actually the highlight of this trailer, IMHO. By the way, the trailer's already available on Netflix's official channel, in case you've missed it somehow.

But this is Marvel, and even if it's a TV divison, it's not their habit to not show exclusive footage for attendees. So they did, but rather than showing a clip or two, they actually screened the entirety of the first episode for the audience! This wasn't a new thing for Marvel TV, but THAT's what I call exclusive. Several sites have since published their early review for the mini-series after SDCC 2017 ended. These journalist have been allowed access to the first half, or first 4 episodes in advance. In general, they praised the chemistry between the heroes, one that rivaled even the Avengers. But they also unanimously pointed out that Marvel TV hasn't really learned from their mistake: it took TOO LONG to see them finally teaming up. Apparently, it will take a while to catch up with what they are doing after their respective series, which is a bit odd, since the benefit of Netflix is anyone can always re-watched those previous series anytime they want. Oh, and that Jones' Danny Rand is the weakest link and lamest part of the series.

Aaaah, yes, speaking of Rand, the panel delivered a news that I found to be... quite unbelieveable. "Iron Fist" is getting a Season 2. Yay... I guess? I'm quite shocked to see that Netflix actually has faith for this show, even if it's among the lowest Rotten Tomatoes score for a TV show. And particularly, when other Netflix-exclusive shows with higher scores were getting cancelled one after another. It's pretty much the most hated entry of the Marvel Netflix-verse, and it... actually shows.

On the bright side (or... is it? Hmmmm), since the Unparalleled-Talent Scott Buck is busy ruini... I mean, messing aroun... er, WORKING with "The Inhumans", Raven Metzner of the recently cancelled (oh... no...) "Sleepy Hollow" has been assigned to take over as the new showrunner. That means we can at least expect some drastic improvement to the series. Perhaps, we'll be seeing the actual DRAGON (not bulbs) form of Shou-Lao? Lest we forget, "Sleepy Hollow" is an actual SUPERNATURAL show! Simone Missick's Misty Knight has even been hinted to be part of it, and hopefully form "Daughters of the Dragon" with Henwick's Colleen Wing. That fact alone is enough to make me rethink my decision to not give it a HUGE PASS prematurely.

On the down side? There goes my wish for a "Heroes for Hire" team-up. Even if it MIGHT end up happening in the future, perhaps as a direct continuation of both 2nd Seasons of "Luke Cage" and "Iron Fist", the soonest it would arrive is in 2019. I'm not even sure I'm still onboard with this Netflixverse when the time comes. Oh well, let's just worry and rant about that later. For now, we can anticipate to see Danny, along with the other Defenders very soon. All 8 episodes of "The Defenders" arrives on August 18th, 2017.

Avengers: Black Panther Quest

I actually didn't planned to venture into the Marvel Animation category, but since it has an interesting news, I've decided to include a quick one. Yes, the animation division took the Room 6A's stage on July 22nd, 12:30 PM PST, to talk about their future works. One of it, was of course the upcoming Marvel's "Spider-Man" series (premiered the next day, on July 23rd), that's clearly heavily inspired by "Spider-Man: Homecoming". What I didn't expect though, is that they've already announced a renewal the "Avengers Assemble" series! The current 4th Season entitled "Avengers: Secret Wars" had only started airing last month!

And yes, if the new announced subtitle wasn't clear enough for your, the 5th Season will be focused on T'Challa. Does this mean, he will be the leader of the New Avengers in the series? Or this new season will take place entirely in Wakanda, you know, as a synergy to the live action movie that will be premiered in the same year? I can't really tell. I even wonder why they aren't focusing with the Avengers, to coincide with "Avengers: Infinity War". Curious indeed...

LEGO: Marvel Super Heroes 2

One more side mission before we move on to the movies (which is arguably the best categories of all Marvel's participation in SDCC 2017, of course). It's... video game time again! The gang from TT Games this time, as they took over a July 22nd stage at Room 6A, on 01:45 PM PST. In their pannel, they delivered a brand new trailer that featured... Kang the Conqueror. Does this mean, the time-travelling super villain is the culprit behind the game's reality and timeline mash-up? Very likely. Can he top the menace of Galactus from the first game, though? We'll see. "LEGO: Marvel Super Heroes 2" will be released on November 14th, 2017.

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Pheww, now we've arrived on the main menu, as Marvel Studios completed the July 22nd Marvel ride with their grand Hall H presentation starting on 05:30 PM PST. It started 15 minutes late though, due to previous panel running off schedule.

Sequel to 2015's beloved "Ant-Man" got the privilege to kickstart Marvel Studios' panel this year! And yes, that's the official title now. It's no longer "Ant-Man & the Wasp" like was shown in the Disney D23 Expo. Turns out that's merely a placeholder title. Unfortunately, the cast couldn't make it to SDCC 2017, because they are busy in Atlanta filming the movie. Actress Evangeline Lilly had already confirmed this via twitter when SDCC began. But that doesn't mean, it didn't bring anything to the panel. Marvel Studios President, Kevin Feige himself delivered a humorous video by Paul Rudd and Michael Peña, to make up for their absence.

Rudd is a natural-born comedic (not to mention, charmingly adorable) actor, and Peña also has been hiding a bonafide comedic talent all these time (not to mention, equally adorable LOL). So obviously, this exclusive video that has them narrating Marvel Studios' movies since the first "Iron Man" was an easy crowd-pleasing hoot. You've really got to hand it to these guys, because reading the description (via ComingSoon live blog) alone was already making me giggling like crazy. All those meta jokes! Seriously, if there's any exclusive footage from this panel I ever want Marvel to release online, it's definitely THIS one.

But best of all, just like any Marvel Studios' movie, even this footage brought a twist of its own. Because it was later revealed that the duo was NOT dishing out this Marvel Cinematic Universe 'recap' to the SDCC audience (of course they are, but you know the drill). Nope, apparently they were 'educating' a third person in front of them, which was... Michelle Pfeiffer!!! ...Who was officially unveiled to be playing Janet van Dyne. SAY WHAAAT??!!! Dang, this was definitely the coolest casting reveal that the studio ever pulled off. Nope, make that 'yet another cool reveal', because remember when Chadwick Boseman was announced as T'Challa? Or Josh Brolin as Thanos? Last year's Brie Larson? Yessss... Marvel Studios is indeed the king of showmanship. No wonder their Hall H panel is always highly anticipated. In case you're not Marvel educated, Janet is the wife of Michael Douglas' Hank Pym, and the mother of Lilly's Hope van Dyne/Pym. Similar to Pym, she was the original Wasp before the suit was naturally passed down to Hope. She was absent in the first movie, because she was lost in the Quantum Realm, and the subplot between Hank and Hope in that movie was the side-effect to that incident. In the comics, her Wasp was the actual founder of the Avengers! Getting Pfeiffer to portray her is a dream come true for fans, and also the actors. Marvel Studios had truly done it again!

That's not all. There's another surprise from this movie. Feige confirmed that both Hannah John-Kamen and Walton Goggins are in the movie, and they are playing comic book character. The former is a famous Marvel antagonist called the Ghost (who as far as I know of, is never unmasked in the comics), while the latter plays Sonny Burch, a CEO of Cross Corporation with connection to... Obadiah Stane. Ouucch!! He already screams antagonist for me. But wait, there's another one, and it's the famous... Laurence Fishburne! Guess who he's playing? Dr. William Foster, a.k.a the superhero Black Goliath. I know that Foster's name has come up in the rumor circuit prior to SDCC, but who would've imagined Marvel Studios would be getting Fishburne to play him. After "Doctor Strange", and then "Black Panther" with their stellar casting, now this movie joined the parade with its truly giant cast!

According to Feige, MCU's Foster will be Michael Douglas' Hank Pym associate. Easy money says that he's the one responsible for Rudd's Scott Lang's Giant-Man ability in "Captain America: Civil War". Perhaps, that stunt displeased Foster, and caused a rift between him and Pym? Goodness, the potential for drama is exciting! And speaking of Pym, could we be seeing him donning the shrinking suit into action? Recent behind the scene reports seem to be hinting that direction. Imagine how great it would be, if he's using Darren Cross' Yellowjacket costume. That would be a neat faithful nod to the source material! Beside, the movie can even debut their own size-shifting Avengers team, assuming Foster gets to suit up as Goliath as well.

The first official concept art poster courtesy of Andy Park, was later released on the Marvel booth. And it was amazing! Lang is clearly Giant-Man, adding further connection to Foster's inclusion in the movie, while Lilly's Hope van Dyne shows her moxie as the fierce superheroine Wasp. Gotta love that new hairdo too! I personally loved the first movie, and I'm totally crossing my fingers that this sequel will more amazing. "Ant-Man and the Wasp" arrives on July 6th, 2018.

Captain Marvel

"Captain Marvel" was up next, and boy... this one sure unleashed its own might. Still flying solo without the accompaniment of any cast members (since only one has been cast), Feige unveiled a few concept arts from the movie, starting with one of Brie Larson's costume. It was faithful to the modern comics' version, but has some tactical elements that resemble those of Captain America's suit. That fan-artist rendition that hit the internet long ago? That was almost accurate.

He then confirmed the report that Samuel L. Jackson will be reprising his role as Nick Fury in the movie... but with both eyes open. Wait, how? Does he get an eye implant or something? Courtesy of Tony Stark, perhaps? Nope. Because the movie will be set in... the 1990s. This reveal undoubtedly sent tidal wave of surprise throughout the audience, as well as the internet. But it got even better, when Feige unveiled that Larson's Carol Danvers will be dealing with... the Skrulls. This namedropping was purely unexpected, because many (including yours truly) thought that the shape-shifting alien-race belongs to FOX, having been heavily associated with their Fantastic Four franchise. And Feige was not lying, because a concept art of the antagonistic species was then shown to the attendees. It IS indeed the Skrulls! Feige later hinted that the movie will address why this alien race hasn't been seen until now.

Fans of the comics would easily understand the connection to Skrulls and Captain Marvel. Danvers received her powers from Mar-Vell, who is a Kree alien. And the Kree and Skrulls have been fighting wars against each other for centuries. Interestingly, this whole reveal has raised numerous questions among the fanbase. Like: Why the Skrulls? Does this mean, the origin story secretly serves like a pseudo-"Secret Invasion" movie? Does this mean, among the characters we've seen until now, some of them might NOT be the real ones, and purely Skrull disguises? Or does this serve as a hint, that the 2019 Avengers movie will in fact be... "Avengers: Secret Invasion"? More importantly, if Carol Danvers has been active since the 90s, WITH her cosmic powers and all... why hasn't she been around? What has she been doing in almost 30 years? Why didn't Fury call her when Loki rained down Chitauri in 2009 (Fun Fact: "The Avengers" was set a year after "Iron Man")? And also... why is she NOT part of "Infinity War"? Or... she is? Hmmmm...

So many questions, and still 1,5 years for answers. If you ask me, then my personal speculation is... Danvers is basically NOT on Earth. Perhaps, in the aftermath of her solo movie, she was given a mission deep in space? Perhaps she joins the Kree and help fight the Skrulls... in their home planet? Or perhaps... captured? Or... have fun and funky galactic adventures? The temporal differences between Earth and other planet, will provide a valid science that she's aging slower. Perhaps, one hour there, is one year on Earth? Through this scenario, she'll work as the second Captain America figure, being 'lost in time'. Even better, she could have lost her powers all these years, which has happened before in the comics, and Fury helps her to regain her power in "Avengers 4". What I'm trying to say is, this fascinating choice of setting just opens up worlds of possibilities. "Captain Marvel" is set to start production early next year in California, and will arrive on March 8th, 2019. And just be honest, we are all intrigued about it, right? *grins*

There's a quick break following this part of the panel, because SDCC director of programming Eddie Ibrahim arrived on stage to deliver a surprise. Yes, just like Jeph Loeb, Kevin Feige was awarded an "Inkpot Award" for achievements in movies. No offense to the other guy, but this one is far more appropriate IMHO. Not only Feige has delivered the first fully-working Cinematic Universe in Hollywood, producing beloved critically-acclaimed movies every year, his move has inspired other studios to... create their own Cinematic Universe. That's a massive accomplishment, if you ask me, and he clearly deserves it. So bravo, Feige, hope you'll keep on working in the MCU for more many years to come.

Thor: Ragnarok

After the dust had settled, and cheering crowd had subsided, Feige and moderator Chris Hardwick continued the presentation by summoning... the Asgardians to the stage. Director Taika Waititi arrived with lead actor Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Tom Hiddleston, Tessa Thompson, Cate Blanchett, Jeff Goldblum, Karl Urban, and surprise addition in Rachel House. By the way, this was likely just a small set of core cast members, because there might be more actors having brief supporting roles in the movie. Considering Waititi is famous for his eccentric style of comedy, this part of the panel... was another round of hoot. Hemsworth said that he's bored after playing the same character five times, and wanted to... push himself. Either that's the truth or a joke, is rather unclear. Waititi then replied that he decided to tackle this movie, to help 'a friend in need', which was a fun jab towards Hemsworth. Blanchett added, that she also got the part because she lives in the same continent to Waititi. LOL. Then came Urban, who's a fellow New Zealander to Waititi, with another Australian neighbour joke.

Ruffalo revealed that his green giant persona Hulk prefers to stays that way, and not return into puny Bruce Banner in this movie. Hiddleston said that ever since the ending of "Thor: The Dark World", his Loki has been masquerading as the All Father Odin. That proved to ignite problem, particularly with Blanchett's Hela. Goldblum confirmed that his character The Grandmaster, is the brother of Benicio del Toro's The Collector. They are the oldest being of the universe. His tournament on Planet Sakaar? It is called... "Contest of Champions". Hulk is his champion, and Thor will be called "Lord of Thunder" in the ring. House, also a New Zealander (she voiced Gramma Tala in Disney's "Moana", in case her name sounds familiar) is a frequent collaborator of Waititi. In this movie, she played the assistant of The Grandmaster, named Topaz. Apparently, her character has some hidden beef with the other assistant, who is Thompson's Valkyrie. Thompson also teased the enigmatic nature of her character.

The cast kept bouncing off one another. So suffice to say, it sounded like a fun and warm set of people, that you totally want to hang out with. Just look at the photos of them on stage, and one can easily tell that seeing Hemsworth bromancing with Ruffalo and Waititi was indeed a delight. And the chemistry between these cast members easily infected the movie itself, as proven by several exclusive footages from the movie, exclusively shown for the attendees. The first showed Thor's first meeting with The Grandmaster. He then was tossed into a holding cell, where he encountered Korg, a rock-shaped character with a gentle voice, who was played by Waititi himself. The last footage, showed Thor's first encounter with Hulk in the arena. That last one then transitioned into a new trailer, that has since been made available online via Marvel Entertainment.

That trailer was pure amazing, it brought Hall H to their feet. It confirmed the appearance of both Fenris Wolf and Surtur, as both of them will be dealt by Ruffalo's Hulk. If in "Spider-Man: Homecoming", Michael Keaton had his Adrian Toomes so grounded that he felt like that ordinary neighbour you occasionally ran into every now and then, Cate Blanchett gets to hamm it up with so much sass and slurr for Hela, to the point of turning her into genuine scary and intimidating. The bromancing rivalry between Thor and Hulk, would easily be the gem of the movie. But what I truly love about this trailer, is the vibrant vivid colors that made your eyes glare in awe. Yes, not unlike that psychedelic new official poster. Thor might have had a rough time with his first two solo movies, but this time around, he (and Team Thor) seems to be having lots of fun and a blast. Even Variety has included this panel as one of their best highlight of this year's SDCC.

One last thing, Collider caught up with Waititi after the panel, and asked some bits about the movie. It was there that Waititi revealed, that "Thor: Ragnarok" might be... the SHORTEST MCU movie to date. He stated that "The cut right now, I reckon it’s about 100 minutes. It’s not gonna be a very, very long film. I think that stories are better when you leave them wanting more, and this film moves at a clip, it’s got stuff happening all the time. I think people are still gonna feel exhausted by the end, they’ve been on this big journey and stuff, so I don’t think we need the film to be three hours.". But rest assured, because he said that there would be plenty of "Great scenes. Funny, funny moments" that will go as 'Deleted Scenes' in the home video version. For now, look forward to the movie itself in theatres, November 3rd, 2017.

Black Panther

As the Asgardians exited stage right, a horde of Wakandan claimed their land!

Ryan Coogler brought his A-list stars to the stage. Lead actor Chadwick Boseman lead the pack of Lupita Nyong'o, Danai Gurira, Michael B. Jordan, Daniel Kaluuya, Letitia Wright, Winston Duke, and two veteran actors in Andy Serkis, and Forest Whitaker. Coogler opened up about his first experience with the character Black Panther, admitting that he's usually on the other side of the panel, sitting as audience (he did, he was present during WB's panel). Similar to the "Thor: Ragnarok" side, each actor shared their experience in the movie, as well as tidbits of their character. Jordan in particular, revealed that his Erik Killmonger returned to Wakanda, to reclaim her role as a Prince. And why is that? Because the movie will be set directly after the fallout of "Captain America: Civil War". So in a way, similar in timeline to "Spider-Man: Homecoming". With King T'Chaka gone, turmoils began to grow from the inside, as Boseman's T'Challa isn't deemed ready to be a king. Perhaps, a consequence of to his avenging stint in "Civil War"?

Coogler then delivered a completely exclusive footage, that was only shown for the SDCC 2017 attendees. The first one featured a James Bond-esque operation, where T'Challa, escorted by Nyong'o's Nakia and Gurira's Okoye, attempted to take down Serkis' Ulyssess Klaue who has been smuggling Vibranium from Wakanda. Clearly, "Avengers: Age of Ultron" was the solid proof to that. As well as Klaue's prosthetic hand, of course. Martin Freeman's Everett Ross was involved in this scene, as he hillariously screamed himself into hiding. Another footage showed T'Challa, suited up as the Black Panther, in an epic car chase. Wright's Shuri was also seen designing and perhaps weaponizing the Panther suit. Killmonger, was also seen donning his own black/gold color battle suit.

The entire footage had the audience floored, as they immediately jumped to their feet to praise and cheer as soon as it ended. Not just them, the cast hasn't had the chance to see it either. So the stage equally erupted in joy and thrills, as each cast members began embracing one another, celebrating the massive work they've just witnessed. The reaction was magical if you ask me, but also completely real that it actually moved me the first time I saw it. The expression of joy and achievement was genuine! Suffice to say, it was special, and the movie IS going to be special. Not unlike that grand looking poster that was handed out for each attendees.

Obviously, I couldn't commented more since that footage was exclusive for SDCC audience. Yet it's more than clear, that Coogler, his actors, and Marvel Studios weren't playing around. Having long standing ovation was a true sign of greatness, and I hope this movie is as worthy as T'Challa to be the king. Let's cross our fingers, with the hopes that that truly will be the case. "Black Panther" arrives in February 16th, 2018.

Avengers: Infinity War

After a brief teasing by Feige, director Joe Russo appeared on stage to wrap up the panel. He delivered the official trailer for "Infinity War", that had previously been screened to the D23 Expo audience. Remember, the attendees of SDCC 2017 Hall H might not be the same 6500-7000 people. I believe only a very a small portion of those audience showed up in both events, and they are mostly journalists. The reaction on Hall H, was pretty much the same, as everyone got carried away emotionally. It was a perfect way to end the successful panel.

On the other hand, the reaction online was... somewhat opposite. Some fans immediately began complaining because unlike another studio (like... WB?), Marvel Studios did not release this trailer online. A leaked trailer has even surfaced for a few span of time on social media! Yes, this IS the internet we're talking about, so I'm not even surprised. But honestly? I think this was still NOT a good attitude. A bit unfair, even. When you think about the effort and hardship the SDCC attendees had to endure, spending all those long hours lining up, just to be a part of a giant panel like Marvel Studios'? It would make sense that they are given an exclusive first look for the trailer, right? And that's precisely what Marvel Studios was doing. HAS been doing for years, to be precise.

Unlike other studio that instantly released the footage online, Feige and his team were treating their guests as VIP customers. Thus allowing them to experience exclusive footages first hand, meeting the cast, and receiving official posters. Logically speaking, that was actually something to be applauded for. Beside, as I said last week... I'm not sure my heart is literally ready to see "Infinity War" trailer just yet. I did check out that poor-quality leak, but immediately stopped halfway because I couldn't handle it. This movie might signal an end of an era, and it might also be the final time we'll be seeing some of our favorite characters in the big screen. So yeah, to be completely honest... I'm VERY anxious about it instead. I would rather see that comedic Rudd x Peña video over such suspense!

Regardless, there was one thing that I actually felt disappointed about. In a way, I was half-expecting some if not all of cast to show up, just like what happened in Disney D23 Expo (that was just 1/3 of them all, apparently). Perhaps, the then-absent actors like Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, and more would take turn and showed up this time. Especially when we realize the fact that "Infinity War" will be released a few months BEFORE the next SDCC next year. Such a wasted of opportunity, right? Alas, that's not the case, so my wish of seeing another massive photoshoot of the cast like last year was too good to be true. Oh well, I guess I'll have to make do with the Asgardians meet Wakandans family photo above. Can't help but wonder though, is Marvel Studios going to held an exclusive private event prior to the movie's release? Next year's the studio's official 10-Year Anniversary celebration, so it would be cool to see all the cast reunited in one huge gala. That might be a bit of tall order, eh? LOL.

Anyways, we did get a few bits and teases about the movie after the panel. That's because the directors and cast members had a quick interview session with the journalists, as has always been the case. Boseman said, that Black Panther will be an important factor in the movie. According to Joe, the movie's final act will be so massive, that he considered it to be a staggering level of scale. He also revealed the necessity of the Black Order, as they serve as some sort of mini-bosses prior to Thanos. At the same time, he's also hoping Thanos would be the new Darth Vader for the modern era.

Oh and yeah, the movie might be among the longest MCU movie to date. "The current cut is over 2 ½, yes. Most of it is a movie you can show. Still a lot of work left to be done... It's certainly going to be a film that lives in the two and a half, two and a half plus range", he said. Make perfect sense really, since it will be dealing with soooo many characters. Even that special SDCC interconnected posters (courtesy of Ryan Meinerding) felt jammed-packed with characters (I didn't see Ant-Man though, I wonder why). We can even expect "Avengers 4" to be the same, since it will also be packed with LOTS of characters. Wow, I need to take a deep breath just hearing that! "Avengers: Infinity War" will be released on May 4th, 2018. I hope when the time comes, my heart would be ready... *sigh*

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joyofcrime-elinorhigh · 6 years ago

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All My REVIEWS REVIEW: (2016 and 2017)

Review-ception!

Hello everybody, my name is JoyofCrimeArt and welcome to my first review of 2018! I guess you could call this season three? Which if we're going with that analogy that means that this and 2019 will be my best years of reviewing. And then it'll be all downhill from there, as I slowly fall into a rut of perceptual seasonal rot. So enjoy it while it last, damn it! It's insane to think that I've been doing this for almost two years. And as this dawned on me, I started to feel a bit...introspective. We've all look back at our past, sometimes with regret, other times with nostalgia. And we've all made mistakes that we are not proud of- EXCEPT FOR ME CAUSE I'M A FU*KING BEAST! -And I got to thinking about my past works, my old reviews, and began to wonder if they actually still hold up. It had been forever since I had actually reread some of those older ones. And that's what we're going to be doing here today. Because what kind of critic would I be if I couldn't take criticism myself? And since they say that "you are your toughest critic" I figured it be good to see if I could take what I've spent the last two years dishing out. Here's how this is going to work. I will be looking at all twenty two of my past reviews, and give my BRIEF thoughts on each of them, as well as possibly give some context on where my mindset was when I was writing them. Think of this like a directors commentary of sorts! However, any multi-part reviews will be counted as one for the sake of convince and time. So really it's closer to eighteen reviews. Also, obviously, this review will be sort of a companion piece to those reviews, so might wanna read those reviews first. But with that all said, let's jump right in and start at the beginning, with my first ever Deviant Art review... Powerpuff Girls 2016 REVIEW Part 1: (04-14-16) Powerpuff Girls 2016 REVIEW Part 2: (05-02-16) Powerpuff Girls 2016 REVIEW Part 3: (05-19-16) So I wanna explain where my mindset was with this review, and what inspired me to start reviewing in the first place. If you remember back in early 2016 EVERYBODY in the cartoon reviewing community was going on and on about this show. Everybody was hating on it and bashing it, even before the show had premiered. Saying that it was going to suck. I was cautiously excited for the reboot, excited at the idea of the Powerpuff Girl's becoming a spanning franchise in the same way as Batman or Ninja Turtles where. If this show turned out well, Powerpuff could become a cartoon that's remade every decade or so, and people could watch and experience it for decades to come. And when you're in the minority opinion, and you see everybody just bashing the thing that you are super excited about, it can be a bit discouraging. When the show actually premiered I thought it was...okay. And the problems I did have with it weren't the problems that everybody else had. But as more and more videos came out from popular cartoon reviewers, I decided that I wanted to write a review in order to release all my pent up thoughts and frustrations. So yeah, my reviews weren't made because of a love and passion for reviewing and animation, but out of BITTERNESS AND HATE! Re-reading the reviews, They weren't AS bad as I thought it would be, though there is very much a "pilot" type of vibe to it. There's no videos or images like my future reviews would have and it's kinda light on actual jokes. There's a part in this review where I said that Craig McCracken gave his blessing for the show, we now know that isn't the case. But at the time that's what Tom Kenny said. And I don't want to change it because I believe that it's important not to try to undo past flaws and mistakes. I also feel like I was too nice in the review looking back on it now. I don't know if it's just my opinion changing or just me wanting to extenuate the shows positives because oh how much everyone else was extenuating it's negatives but if I wrote this today I wouldn't be so kind. I said the show was meh but now I think it is a bad show. I just don't think it's the "end of CN" like so many people were saying at the time. But regardless I feel like I still stand by a lot of my points I made in the review. I still don't care about the memes, or the change in crew and voice cast. I'm upset by writing and lack of action and comedy that made the old show great. And I still hope that CN will give Powerpuff another try sometime down the line, and give it the reboot it deserves. But I had a lot of fun making this review, and it would inspire me to make many more in the future. So I guess Powerpuff 2016 changed my life for the better.... Steven Universe Hit the Diamond REVIEW: (06-16-16) Honestly...I think this one really holds up. You can easily tell that this review set the trend for what my reviews ended up becoming overall. Images and videos where added, there's a really good balance of both comedy and analysis. My intro was introduced (yeah, I didn't realize this till now but the Powerpuff Girls reviews didn't have my typical intro.) And it started the Lapis "This plan sucks" meme. A bit of background, originally this wasn't going to be my fourth review. I was going to review the CN short program "Mixels" because somebody had asked if I had. But after watching through it I just...had nothing to say on it. Then I saw this episode and impediment got re-inspired. I remember writing the whole review in just two or three days, it was all very impromptu. Overall I'm proud of this one, and I think it would be a good "first review to read" kind of thing to introduce someone to my reviewing style. I'm not sorry for that RWBY Chibi joke by the way. It was my finest moment. Don't Hug Me I'm Scared REVIEW: (08-22-16) "So that's my review of Don't Hug Me, I'm Scared (Hopefully it didn't come off as too rambly and fanboy-y)" Well too bad past me, because it totally did. Okay, to be fair, this review isn't THAT bad. Not as bad as I remembered it being, but still not one of my best in my opinion. Part of it has to do with the topic. DHMIS is a hard series to summarize and explain, and that's kinda the point of it. But I still feel like I could of done a better job describing it. The problem is a lack of structure, and the whole thing comes off as kinda rambling and confusing. Especially if you were a newcomer who had never heard of the series prior to my review. I feel like I did a better job talking about the production side of the series than I did talking about the plot and characters. During this time I feel like I really struggled with purely positive reviews. I feel like a lot of them just came off as, like I said, rambly and fanboy-y. That's why I did so many "so bad it's good" movies and episodes in my first year of reviewing. I feel like if I had given it another draft it could of been a lot better, but what are you going to do. Camp Camp REVIEW: (09-24-16) I remember this review being a bad one, but after rereading it, It's nowhere near as bad as I remembered. It's far from one of my best review and a lot of the problems I had in regards to doing positive reviews are still present thought. (Over-explaining things, a bit fan boyish at parts.) Overall though, it's not a BAD review, just a very "average" one. The only noticeable things about this review in particular is that 1.) It's my first review where I had links at the bottom to other reviews and 2.) it's the only review to my knowledge that actually convinced somebody to watch the show they probably wouldn't have watched otherwise. And that really means a lot to me, cause that's a huge part of why I even do this. To introduce people to things that they will hopefully really enjoy. So in that regard I can't look upon this review THAT harshly. Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktacular REVIEW: (10-24-16) "Anyway, then we Jimmy appear on top on a tombstone dressed in his devil pajamas," Yes past me, "Then we Jimmy appear" indeed. SERIOUSLY WHY DO ANY OF YOU WATCH ME- When it comes to my reviews there are two main types. There's the one's that are deep analysis, often based on series that I feel very passionate about. These reviews are made with the purpose of introducing people to these underrated series with the hope the reader will check out the series, and hopefully be as impacted by ir as I was. And then there are the reviews where it's just like "Ha! This is stupid. Let's make fun of this direct to TV movie intended for five year olds, lol." This is one of those reviews. A problem I do have with this review other than grammar is that there are several moments where I kinda explain the jokes that are in a movie. And I don't do a very good job at explaining them because I lake the context surrounding the jokes. If I made the review today I probably would wanna cut some of those lines out. The review is also noticeably longer than the others up to this point, so that's something. I never did end up reviewing the sequel like I said I would...at least not YE- Ouran High School Host Club REVIEW: (12-09-16) So for some background here, I started watching the series really early in the year and decided I wanted to review it. However, the series took me a long time to finish, like almost six months from what I can recall. Which is odd because the show only has 26 episodes. But this was a very busy time for me, with me getting my first part time job, my family moving, and having to work on my comics on a weekly schedule. By the time I had finished this show, while I did enjoy the show a lot, I had kinda burned out about the idea of doing a review of it. But I didn't want all the material I had already worked on to go to waste, so I decided to just kinda muscle through it, and I think you can kinda feel that in the review. There are still plenty of jokes in it that I'm proud of, but there are also some flaws with it. I wish I was a bit quicker in terms of summing up the cast, as that takes up almost half of the review itself. I also feel like the review doesn't have the best "flow." to it, if that makes sense. It kinda feels like I'm just jumping from point to point. But it was my first Deviant-cember review, and my first anime review. So two big milestones there! Frosty Returns REVIEW: (12-16-16) The most interesting thing about this review is that it's the to take a MASSIVE jump in total page view. It's weird, like why this one? I guess Frosty Returns is what my audience was secretly clamoring for? I think, this might have been when I started posting my reviews on the Mr. Enter deviant art page, so maybe that could explain it. But I'm not positive. Anyway, as this is another "make fun of something stupid" review and not a deep passion filled analysis. There's not much to really say about it. I really need to stop mentioning the good jokes in reviews like this, they don't translate very well when transcribed from special to script. Also it spoils all the best parts. I'M SORRY FOR SPOILING FROSTY RETURNS, I HOPE YOU ALL CAN FORGIVE ME! Also I remember getting very tired half way through this. It was my first time doing reviews back to back and I was really anticipating the "2016 Year in REVIEW." But I buckled through it regardless. I still need to review T.I and Tiny's Holiday Hustle by the way. Add it to the list! The Legend of Frosty the Snowman REVIEW: (12-23-16) By the time I had starting writing this review I was so tired of writing and so wanting to work on the yearly retrospect that it kinda felt like a chore to write. But like a chore, I'm glad I did it because I think it turned out pretty good. It's a good bit longer than my previous reviews, which was a pain at the time, but there are some good jokes in here. Nothing else really to add, except for the fact that I wanted to use this image in the review, but forgot until after I already published it.

I could give you context on what this image is...but is there any context that would justify it? 2016 Year in REVIEW: Part 1 (12-30-16) 2016 Year in REVIEW: Part 2 (12-31-16) "Getting mad at the year, an abstract concept, just feels...unproductive to me. It seem's like it's the wrong target to be directing all this anger at. Sometimes bad stuff just happens, and there's a good chance that by the end of 2017 we'll hate that year too. Because most of the bad stuff that happened in 2016...probably won't just go away come January 1st."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-VawFj4GRM

I got the idea to do this review probably half-way-ish through the year, and it was by far the review that I was most excited to work on. And honestly I think the yearly retrospects are, in general, the funnest reviews to work on. And good thing too because if It were any other review, I would probably be to tired and unmotivated to actually work on them. If I have one regret it would be the final ranking of the series. In hindsight I would swap RWBY Chibi and Camp Camp's rankings. Though this may just be a "hindsight is twenty twenty" thing, as I think Camp Camp improved with it's second season, while RWBY Chibi got a bit worse. These reviews where a lot of fun but also an exhausting experience. I had written five reviews, back to back, during the holidays, which each review becoming longer and longer. I was tired and started to feel a bit done by the time I was working on part two. (As originally it wasn't going to be a two parter. It just kinda ended up that way.) Also this was sorta the point where my reviews started getting longer. As righting five reviews in such a short amount of time naturally made me start writing more. Like how when one is put under intense physical training over a short period of time there bodies naturally adapt, and become stronger. It's like that, but with dumb cartoon articles. Top 10 Toonami Ad's of the [adult swim] Era: (03-20-17) As you can see, there was a bit of a gap between reviews here, for obvious reason. After Deviant-cember year one I was DONE with reviews for a long while. I needed a break. This might be one of the funniest reviews to do the research for. I sat down and watched ALL the eligible bumpers and ads in chronological order and it was great! I didn't even care that there where hundreds of ads to look over, I just had a blast! It was also my first top ten list! Top tens and top fives were always something I liked seeing other people do, but not something I often felt very comfortable doing. Not that I'm against them or anything, it's just that I have a hard time making them. I'm the type of guy who's exact opinions on things changes very often, and so it's hard for me to say "this thing is worse than this but better than this." I don't think that I could ever do a "Favorite Show of All Time" list or anything like that. I like so many different things for different reasons...I just don't think my brain is wired to work that way. So that's why whenever I DO make a ranking list, I try not to take the actual ranking that seriously, and just use it as an excuse to show off some stuff I like. However, despite this, there are some things about the review that I would change looking back on it. You can still see my struggles with doing a fully positive review. Like I said earlier, It took me a long while to learn how to do positive reviews without sounding rambly and fanboy-y. Also there's almost no jokes in this one. I don't think the lack of jokes in a review is NECESSARILY a bad thing, but I feel it kinda is in this case. Since I was covering such a niche topic, some humor might have made the review better, and give people who we're uninteresting in bumpers and Toonami something to latch on to. Oh well... Dragon Ball Super: Battle of Gods Arc REVIEW: (05-01-17) The first part of my Dragon Ball Super retrospective series, (Which, with the recent announcement of Super ending will now have a conclusion. I sort of assumed I'd be reviewing Super until I either died or stopped doing reviews, whichever came first.) This review had a lot less recapping than I remember it having and has a good amount of both comedy and analysis. (Probably because I had the whole "compare and contrast" element to it.) Overall a fairly good start to a retrospect. Other than that not much to say though. I'm also really proud of that "Godtube" joke. Like I know I used MS Paint, but I still think it's a really good edit. #humblebrag Samurai Jack Season Five REVIEW: (06-19-17) "In general I tend to be more critical and nit picky about things I like than things I hate." Does anybody else feel this way, or is it just a "me" thing? I'm genuinely curious. If there's something that this review made me realize is how quickly things come and go in the cartoon community. I was on a hiatus at the time the season ended so this review came out about a month later. And by that time it seemed like everybody had moved on from Samurai Jack for the most part. And I don't mean this as a way to complain about a lack of views or comments or anything. On the contrary the amount of views this review got seems to be on par with what they normally are and I think I actually got a bit more comments than I usually do. What I more mean is that while the season was running it was all anybody was talking about, and then once it ended nobody was discussing it. The "buzz" was gone so to speak, and it feels like that's what happens whenever a show isn't currently running or goes on break. The fandom burns bright but dies out fast, and that's kinda a shame. I feel like a lot of great shows don't get talked about as much as they should because there not quote unquote "relevant" and thus end up getting swept under the rug. As for the review part, this is one of my personal favorites. I really wanted to make sure I did the season justice, which is part of the reason it came out almost a month after the season ended. I wanted to let my feelings settle for a bit a see how I felt after I had time to think about it, rather than just having a gut reaction. (Though I'm not saying there isn't a place for stuff like that.) Also my first review with a title card! Title cards where something I always wanted to do but I was always afraid it would just be to time consuming, but now I think it's worth it, as I think it does add a bit of flair to the presentation. Also I've gotten a lot faster at making them. (The title card for this review was done in one evening for instance.) Watamote REVIEW: (Oh, the Cringe!) (08-14-17) This review was easily one of the hardest to make. I started watching the series in preparation for the review in FEBRUARY, and didn't finish it until SUMMER! (I don't have time to watch cartoons! I have cartoon reviews to work on!) At the time I was watching each episode twice, once alone and once with my brother, and I think that's what made me burn out on the series. That time period was also the time where I started my new job as well, so maybe that was also a factor. I guess it makes sense, but considering the show is one of my favorite cartoons of the decade and only TWELVE episodes long, I dunno, I figured I wouldn't have that kind of reaction to it. This review was suppose to be my fourteenth review. Then it was going to be my fifteenth review, until finally it ended up becoming my sixteenth. That's how long it took for me to finish the show episodes! So eventually I just bit the bullet and finished the dang show. Then came the problems of actually writing the show. Like I said before, I have a problem doing positive reviews without ending up ramble-y and fanboy-y, and so I REALLY wanted to make sure that it didn't happen this time. So I wrote THREE drafts of this review (prior to this I only did one draft.) I would go reread it and change things, reread it and change things... And I'm really proud of how it turned out. The beginning part has a few awkward lines, but overall I really am proud of how it turned out. This is really my first positive review that I really loved, and it has given me the confidence to do more reviews like that in the future. You don't need to just make fun of things and review the most bottom of the barrel stuff. You can make a review where you just talk about a series or show or movie that has a special place in you're heart without it being boring. I tend to prefer reviews where their is a balance of jokes and analysis, but you don't always need that. If you're talking about something you're passionate about, that passion will seep through to the viewer. Or at least that's how I feel. Dragon Ball Super: Resurrection 'F' Arc REVIEW: (9-18-17) I typically try to get the Dragon Ball Super reviews to come out roughly as the arcs finish on Toonami, but here I was a bit late, and by the time the review was finished the televised broadcast was already well into the Champa arc. As such, I kinda had to rush this review out in order to not fall even farther behind. And so my heart wasn't really into this review as much as it was with some of my other reviews. I still like how it turned out overall (I wouldn't publish a review if I wasn't proud of it at least a little.) but overall this feels like a review that's just kinda...there. I feel like to much of the review was just recapping the events of the arc, and it could of used more jokes or analysis to make it feel a bit less dry. This is also my first review with a title card drawn in FireAlpaca! That's right, I moved on from MS Paint! (At least with title cards.) Rick and Morty REVIEW: (With MiketheHuman113) (12-01-17) My first colab review! I had wanted to do a collab for a while, and at the time Mike was the person on the site that I knew the most about, and when I saw him post a list of all time favorite characters, and saw Rick as number two, I thought that he would be a good pic. Actually doing the review however was a bit of a challenge. I had to write my segments, send it to him via note, and then get his segments back and paste them into my journal in a way so that it sounded natural. Then I had to rewrite some of the transitions to make it all flow together. Why didn't you just use Google Docs?

...

NNNHHHHGGGGUUUUUU!!!!! Anyway, this was a topic that I wanted to get off my chest for the longest time, so I was very happy to finally do so. I do have some problems with the review though (None of which where on Mike's end BTW, just to be clear he was awesome.) I feel like there's a lot of jumping around with the points, and the review's overall flow suffers as a result. I also wished I hadn't jumped around so much from spoiler to non spoilers as much as I did, and if I were to redo the review now I think I would want to make them review more general and less focused on specific moments and episodes. That way it be easier to follow if you hadn't seen the show. I also wish that maybe it was a little shorter. It was my first time doing a collab, and I figured it be easier because I would only have to do half the work. But what ended up happening (and I blame my own workaholic-ness for this.) Is that I made a full length review, and then stuck Mike's contributions on top of it. So not only was the review long, but it wasn't any easier than a normal review. in fact it was probably harder. But I'm glad I did it. I was fun and I'd love to do more collabs in the future. However given the previously mentioned difficulty it'll probably only be a "once a year-ish" thing. But y'never know. Who do you think I should collab with? This was also the first time I made art for a review outside of the title card. In this case the Super Smash Bros style intro I did for Mike. I want to make those for everybody I do a collab with. Also I noticed that after this review, I began to be more noticed in the DA review community. Probably because Mike's in it, so I could leach off his audience. However, oddly enough, the views for this review are bellow average, so who knows. Dragon Ball Super: Champa Arc REVIEW: (12-08-17) HEY KIDS AT HOME, COUNT THE AMOUNT OF TIME I SAY THE WORD "MISSTEP" "OPPORTUNITY" AND OR "WASTE." I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT, IT'S WAY TO FRICKIN' MUCH!- There's also more spelling errors than normal. Overall I just blame the rush of Deviant-cember, and the fact that like in 2016, my heart was really set on the yearly recap instead of this. The review as a whole however, ironically, is kinda like the arc itself. It starts out kinda slow, with mostly recapping events. But as the review goes on it's get's a lot better, with more jokes and insightful analysis. Not much else to say about this one. Top 5 Obscure Christmas Specials You Should Watch: (12-15-17) I feel like there were some unprofessional moments in this review, mostly as a result o a time crunch to finish the review before the deadline. From not rewatching Nestor to tracing the Hawkmoth logo it feels a bit sloppy to me. (Even though I'm sure these are things that won't bother most other people.) I was in a bit of a rush for this part of deviant-cember as work and the holidays in general gave me less time to work on the reviews, in addition to the stuff that I was posting on Mondays. I wanted to succeed in my goal of doing two uploads a week during Deviant-cember since I failed to do so in 2016. However, I am glad that I was able to talk about so many weird specials, and I don't think that review suffers to much from the rush. When I was writing the review, I felt burnt out from reviews and just wanted to move on to the yearly recap, but looking back on it now, the review isn't really that bad. There are some good jokes in it and I love recommending obscure stuff to people. Maybe one day I'll do a part two. OH! And it turns out that "A Cranberry Christmas" IS lost media! It's the first piece of lost media that I watched before it got lost! WE NEED TO FIND THIS, GUYS! 2017 Year in REVIEW: Part 1 (12-22-17) 2017 Year in REVIEW: Part 2 (12-29-17) Most of the things that I said about my 2016 year in review could be said about these reviews, so I don't have much to add. Have I mentioned that I hate the "This year sucks" meme yet? It such a stupid thing, to hate on a year. And I worry that with our cynical society we live in that the "This year is awful" thing will go on until the end of time itself. 2017 was fine. 2016 was fine. Y'wanna know what year was really a dumpster fire. 1942. That's the year we entered the second World War, segregation was still a thing, and all the meme's sucked that year! It was awful! My only real regret about this review was using the word "hate boner" when talking about Castlevania's views on religion. I think the term "hate boner" is really dumb sounding and at the time of writing the review I didn't realize that people used the term so unironically. (No offense to people who do use the term. It' just a term I really don't like, personally. Just use the term "bias.") And that's it. ALL 22 of my reviews reviewed! Do I recommend...me? Well personally this JoyofCrimeArt guy does have his fair share of problems. He can come off as a bit fanboy-y and ramble-y at times. His reviews sometimes have weird pacing issues, jumping from point to point. While I enjoy how in-depth he can SOMETIMES be, they can be a bit long at points. Also he has a lot of unpopular opinions, and sometimes I wonder if he's just being contrarian. Not the mention the fact that, since the idiot thought that having THREE web comics running simultaneity at the same time was a good idea, he doesn't actually post reviews very often when compared to some of his reviewing counterparts. On the other hand though...there are some positives to the guy. He seems very passionate about the topics he talks about. He has an okay balance of analysis and comedy. And I also like how he talks about a variety of different stuff. From popular series, obscure series, anime, web series, direct to DVD movies, bumpers, HIS OWN REVIEWS. You never know what you're going to get. Is he the best reviewer on DA. Probably not. Heck, he's probably not even in the top fifteenth. But if you're willing to devote a half hour of you're time to reading one of his overly long reviews, who knows, you might just enjoy yourself. Or not. I dunno. So that was my review of my reviews. What are your thoughts about my thoughts about my thoughts. Leave those thoughts in the comments down below. I would love to exchange thoughts even if we don't have the same thoughts. Do you have a favorite or least favorite review of mine? I'd be genuinely curious to know. Please fav, follow, and comment if you like the review and have a great day. (I do not own any of the images or videos in this review all credit goes to there original owners.)

https://www.deviantart.com/joyofcrimeart/journal/All-My-REVIEWS-REVIEW-2016-and-2017-739596421 DA Link

#Reviews #cartoon reviews #animation reviews #meta #cartoon

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diario-secreto-bjd · 8 years ago

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2017 New Year's Doll Meme:

((Lo traduzco tan pronto encuentre las ganas, que se me han perdido por ahi entre los decorados de navidad...))

As every year, let's start! What sculpt do you wish you could see more owner photos of?

- BuddyDoll dolls in general. I know the factory died long ago but I still find them to be the most special sculpts for me. And the few there are are owned by Russian artists in the majority it's not easy to find any picture at all nowadays

Do people choose names for their dolls and characters the dolls are based on and then check excessively to see if anyone is already using the name? Are they bothered if they find other dolls having the same name?

- Personally I'm not. I come up with a name, I never give a single fu*k if anyone else it's using that name. I bet there is a thousand if not more humans using "my name" and I'm not obsessed by it so why should be obsessed about my dolls names..?

What company do you wish were more popular? What company do you wish were less popular? Why?

- I will say BuddyDoll again but since they're closed, I'll go for Obitsu, the big ones, are exactly the same as any other Vinyl ball jointed doll like DollfieDream or SmartDoll but people somehow hates them, I never knew why... And I wish SmartDolls weren't so popular, me, personally, fell like cheated, Danny C. was supposed to give us "the next step on doll evolution", a robotic doll you can command trough an app in your smartphone, and then he reconsidered the cost of production and ended up giving us 'anime flat faced characters' who are ALL ""Mirai with the exact same clothing"" (almost), and for some unknown reason people praise him like if he had invented something marvelous. Wellp, he didn't, he just made another version of DollfieDream but uglier and less imaginative, not the "dolly robot" he promise, and the reason why his brand was called SMART-DOLL to begin with.

Based on the characters written, out of your dolls, your friends’ dolls or even other owners’ dollies, which doll would you most like to be friends with? And which doll is most likely to be your mortal enemy?

- My, this is a good one, since I have a saga of published books about my dolls histories and their character I know them all very deeply and I can say for sure, "Star" will be the one to most likely becoming my friend since he's pretty much like me in many ways, intolerant, nasty for fun, sarcastic, unpredictable, every mistake I have he have almost the same so there will be a problematic friendship but surely we will remain friends for a lifetime. And "Lily" will most possibly be my sort of "mortal enemy" since she is so vain and thinks so high of herself as a doll that this will continuously might generate 'girl cat-fights' over the smallest things.

What’s the longest you’ve waited for a doll to arrive? What’s the shortest?

- Longest?, MOC (mint-on-card), their costumer service sucks and they're rude and they threat you with cancel your order after months of waiting if they don't like where you live even though they had previously told you they had no problem shipping there. It took over 8 months to get Star his own proper body since I wanted a very specific 'over-articulated' body from a specific company who wasn't selling if not trough agents and MOC was the only-one who accepted to ship internationally so I had to suck it and wait while they insulted me over months and months, the final insult, supposedly "extra hands" they had to send me, they send me a pair of hands doing the fu*k you, yes, they ultimately gave me the middle finger on resin. I still have the hands, no idea what to do with them actually... - The shortest?, easy, a week from paid to product arrival. From recaster S/L (China BJD).

Do you like to sew for your dolls? Where do you usually get your fabric?

- I HATE to sew for everyone and everything. Is not like I "can't", is literally, I HATE IT. And when I do have to sew because I don't have any other choice I find fabric in the most weird places. Never online, I live on a "clothing factory district" so I can buy my fabrics here or even real clothing for humans on sale and use the fabric I need from there (since dolls are smaller than humans a t-shirt for a human will have enough fabric for a doll t-shirt for sure).

Do you like to create things for your dolls, be it clothes, wigs, accessories, ect? If so, what?

- As previously stated I do hate to create clothing items, and shoes. I avoid it as much as I can, but I love to make eyes, doll heads, bodies, wigs (fur or fiber), jewelry, and sometimes even props... (though I don't use them much).

If you have pets, do you let them near your dolls? How do they feel about your dolls?

- I have (currently) 3 cats. I let them near my dolls under my strict supervision. One of them wants to steal Star's bed and sleeps on his lap every time he can, but I doubt Star will like that and it might be even a danger for the animal if Star long fingernails break so I never actually let him do so. the other two cats, one ignores my dolls as he ignores humans too, and the lat one it's too curious and can't stay put for a second so he usually just smell my dolls and move on to the next shinny thing.

Is there any character of yours that you wouldn’t want to get as a doll? Why?

- Pfff, hard one here, now that I think of it....... mmm....... no, I don't think I have any character that's a "NOPE" if it comes as a present.... Why?, well, maybe because I only relate the dolls to the characters I make and whatever I hate from them, is in some sense a "part of me", so I can live even with the parts of me I don't like. It's called self-esteem. - Plus, I have Lily, and it's my less favorite character so.... right now I can't think of any. Sorry.

Has anyone ever broken one of your dolls? How did you feel? How did they react?

- By the time I started with BJDs I had already had a lot of "bad experiences with assholes/friends coming home and breaking stuff". The one I remember the most right now, was my best friend (at that time) taking a very rare/expensive/hard-to-get "Kaiyodo Evangelion Eva 05 figure" back in the 90's, and detaching the legs...then he lol'd about it...........that guy now lives 12 hours away, in another continent. Problem solved.

Where do you like to get your supplies? (Elastic, eye puddy, ect.)

- At first (since I didn't knew any better) was all online, the imports on my country are/where expensive but we didn't had all the stupid regulations we have now. Nowadays I tend to actually use my head and look for the stuff I need where I can buy it directly on a real (physical) store around the corner, so I always have a lot of supplies at had. You just need to know what you need and where they sell it. It's not that hard and much more fun.

If you could have a doll of any fandom character, who would you get and why?

- I think Sephiroth from “Final Fantasy VII” series. Thus his armor (specially the shoulder plates) are a pain in the arse'... I did had one of my dolls customized to be him but ultimately ended up using the doll for a character on my book and giving him, a more 'easy to deal with' clothing.

Where is your favorite place to host your doll photos? What other places do you like to share them?

- Mainly DeviantArt, but I also use Tumblr and FB (sometimes). I tend to change over the years but this are the sites I use almost all the time.

What type of camera do you use? What about light set up?

- I hate photography almost as much as sewing clothing items. Sorry.

Where do you usually buy your eyes from? Do you prefer glass, acrylic, urethane, ect?

- I buy my eyes everywhere I can and I do actually prefer glass eyes.

What is the best deal you’ve ever been able to score (be it direct from a doll company, an etsy store, the second-hand market, etc.)?

- Recast from S/L. Purchased 3 1/3 SD dolls and got a mini and a 1/4 for free. + their respective eyes.

Face up artists: What were some things you struggled with when you first began face-ups, vs. things you struggle with now? How do your first face-ups compare to your more recent ones?

- When I first began faceups the most common mistake where the eyebrows, now I don't think I struggle too much about anything anymore... practice do make the master.

What color resin is most of your crew? What color resin is your favorite? What color would you like to get next or in the future?

- Most of my crew it's Normal Yellow, but I have all sort of colors, Tans, blue, white, grey, pink, even Glow in the dark resin... it all depends on the sculpt and the character I'm making.

Do any of your dolls celebrate a holiday other than Christmas?

- Guest you could say Star celebrates his birthday (the day he was order) as a reminder of how I started in this hobby and how long I've being up with this until today.

If you could change one of your dolls into an outfit that isn’t their aesthetic (aka pastel lolita into gothic punk, bad boy into nerdy jock), who would you choose and why? (Also, would they go along with it, or would they protest?)

- I think "Wind" will make a good dark Gothic "something", since he is (as a character) continuously changing his look in search of "who he is" don't think his character will mind neither...

Have you ever bought through Taobao? If so, what did you get, and how did it go?

- Yes, dolls items and dolls, it went perfect. Thank you very much.

Do any of your dolls have a ‘theme song’?

- Star does. It's the song "Iris" from "GooGoo Dolls".

Are any of your dolls more popular than other ones when it comes to likes, reblogs, ect? Are any of them less popular?

- I never notice about "my dolls popularity". I'm not in high-school anymore. And to be honest I gave a sh*t even when I was on high-school so... I'm a very happy outcast, so are my dolls.

If you have more than one doll, how are they connected? Are they from the same story line? If not, do you think they’d still get along?

- All my dolls are connected, all share the same universe and are tied to the events of their main story depicted on my books. Some get along better than others like in real life real people would.

Do you ever smoke (cigarettes, cannabis, ect.) around your dolls? If so, do you worry about the smell? If not, would it bother you if others did?

- I don't smoke. It kinda' bothers me the smell of cigarettes on anything (-or "dirty/wet dog smell", that is on my top ten list of smells I don't want EVER smell again on my LIFE-), but I've learn to live with it since my dad it's a heavy smoker so his belongings always smell like cigarettes... As long as it's not on MY dolls your doll can smell however you prefer and I have no reason to get mad at anyone for it. It's not my doll. Period.

What are your favorite places to hang out within the community? Do you like a specific forum, or fb group?

- I think the community sucks all the joy out of this hobby. I have decades of experience on this community and other fandom related communities and let me tell you, is not worth it. It's a drama over another drama over ANOTHER drama... sooner or later you will be in the center of a hurricane and you won't know what the hell just hapend.

Tell me about your dolls personality! If you have more than one doll, pick a few of your favs! I’d love to know all about them. ^^

- All of my dolls are intertwined into a main story. There are a lot of characters each with an unique story and motivation. I can't really resume their lives as OC's here, but if you like you can read my book. Main characters personalities are a bit like: Star (selfish, unpredictable, values his freedom over most things but it's not an idealistic guy, sarcastic and acid, oftenly apathetic), Doc (curious, loving, gentle and smart but a bit bitter at times), Max (strong, intimidating, never let's his emotions out unless necessary, manly and quiet, can't stand being a slave or other weaker dolls), Swan (smart, fierce, beautiful despite her defects, courageous, stubborn), Angel (distant, quiet, very powerful, mysterious), Pax (strong and kind to others, particularly the weakest ones or the ones in need, honorable and a very good person/doll, values everyone's lives above his own), Night (agile, not as fast as Star but still a skillful doll, very sociable and likes to joke around), Light (serious for his age, tends to be taking care of Night and considers him his brother although they are not related, very loyal), and so on...

Are any of your dolls in a relationship, or married? Do they have any children?

- Spoiler Alert. Yes. Not going to point fingers at them.

What’s your grail doll? (’Grail’ can be interpenetrated any way you desire.)

- I don't really know.... I'm still waiting on a strong actually BIG and not "soom ridiculously thin legs" centaur, like SoulDoll Chiron kinda' centaur, 70 fucking centimeters for real, bad side is that much resin is not something the companies are willing to use on a single doll if they can use half and still sell you the doll for the same price so.... keep on waiting I guest. Most of my grail dolls I already have them so I'm not like "desperate" about getting a specific sculpt.That being said, there is always a doll I will like to own but is not like I'll die if I don't own them...

Do you usually get dolls for a specific character, or create a character once you have the doll?

- I usually get the doll for a specific character but this doesn't mean I haven't piked my good share of dolls just because they're pretty and felt obligated to give them a character afterwards...

Do any of your dolls have an accessory or piece of clothing that they always wear?

- "Night" have a "bow and arrow" set. "Star" has a yellow/orange sparkling scarf, "Max" have dog-tags, "Doc" have black long boots, "Pax" have a blue feather hanging on his neck.., almost all of the characters/dolls I have, have something special that they wear of like to have around at every situation...

Do any of your dolls participate in any clubs, or sports?

- I hate sports, I never did took interest or asked them if they did. But I'm guessing no...

Do your dolls have any pets? If so, would you ever get their pet as it’s own doll?

- Some, and in some cases, yes... but mostly they don't have pets.

What is something about your doll that no one else knows?

- I can't seem to change the eyes of my first doll, I tried like 4 times and ended up back to his original eyes in less than a day. It's like the eyes are the window to the entire personality of that particular doll and without that specific eyes he doesn't looks the same...and I can't tolerate that fact. I fell like I've just killed someone whenever I change his eyes...it's a weird felling knowing he is a doll and it's not actually alive but damn...fells like shit. :/

What is your dolls favorite color? What about their favorite color to wear?

- "Star" preffers redish with a bit of blue, "Doc" loves everything black and specially red... "Lily" loves Pink and white, "Max" prefers military-like colors or simple things...and so on...

Are any of your dolls spiritual?

- I'm not sure on how to interpret this question, ...do you mean if they (their characters) are involved in "spiritual" or so activities..?, or if I use them as "spiritual dolls" to hold the spirit of the dead in real life..?, really, this question needs some context.

Do any of your dolls have tattoos? If so, do they represent anything?

- Not that I recall, maybe a couple. Not going to spoil the story and their meaning. Sorry.

Do any of your dolls have a nickname? Is it one they like, or do they dislike it? Who gave it to them?

- Star usually call Max “the old guy” or “the old men”, and Doc nickname Max sometimes as “the warrior”. But Max doesn’t know they called him nicknames.

* All this questions belong to: "Bjd Discussion Time!" please check their blog for more.

** Disclaimer, right now, Jan 2017, I have over 80 (or more, stop counting them a long time ago) Ball Jointed Dolls, so it's a LOT difficult to list them all and I replied this questions to the best of my knowledge. Hope you have less dolls and can actually give more precise answers.

#bjds #bjd #abjd #bjd discussion time #2017 meme #new year meme #bjd meme #doll meme

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the99thchapter · 5 years ago

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the following are entries from my lunadiary.

2018.12.24 p.m. 01:54 - the last week of 2018 x - let the past be bygone they say, little did you know, the sufferings and obstacles i had faced, To be where i am today never forget your struggles because they're a reminder for every hardship

2018.12.27 p.m. 08:34 the luxury of happiness x - to feel happy is a luxury because not everyday is filled with joy So If i get to feel happy for every one second I'll be grateful i don't want to feel nothing Forever

2019.01.17 p.m. 05:06 Tbh - Hypothetically speaking, i don't know if I'm passing my stats and cma paper. I didn't revise in depth and I'm just guessing answers. Reminder to myself that if i failed, it was because i wasn't being hardworking enough. I was being complacent. I deserved this.

2019.04.01 p.m. 11:15 what happens next? - howto: cope with a broken friendship are there any cures for it? Guidebooks, therapy or prayers?I lost a friend because of my actions. Came to realization that I'm always hurting others. I know how it feels like, and I'm doing it to the people i love. I am the worst.

2019.04.11 p.m. 05:38 My parents. - My mom thinks I'm here to ruin her life. Look, I'm not trying to make anyone cry or get hurt. But it always come back to the fact that i cause great pain to the people around me indirectly. I made my family cry. I made a friend cry. I make myself cry. It's like i am this terrible person who's causing so much pain to others. I don't get better. I get worse.

I know my mom has been looking at me like I'm a monster for a while now. Years. She doesn't say it but i can tell. I'm no longer treated like a child, i get scolded like a stranger and I'm not worth of importance anymore. I think this is the universe way of telling me that I'm on my own and i should just deal with it. My dad wants to get closer to me but i push him away repeatedly. I'm a mean person but getting closer means opening up walls and i don't intend to do that. After having broke a parent, this parent should stay away from me. I hurt people so he shouldn't have to deal with me. He's a great dad but he's unlucky to have me.

My parents are great people and they've been through a lot. My existence is nothing but a nuisance since the beginning. Please, universe. Do them a favour and do myself a favour. Get rid of me. Help them. Save them. That's all I'm asking.

2019.04.23 p.m. 10:59 Plus one - all i ask for is a man who has a good heart. Someone who is polite in words and actions. not necessarily pious but does his five daily prayers without fail. Able to guide me on the correct path and be my jodoh in jannah. protect me from the evil and love me for who i am. Respects my family as a whole and accepts us for who we are.

2019.05.09 p.m. 02:03 day 4 - Ya Rabb, i ask that you strengthen my iman. Encourage my heart to perform the five daily salahs and to dzhikir a lot. In this holy month i want nothing but truly your blessings. Taufiq hidayah. Rahmatilah kami semua, terimalah segala ibadah and amalan kami. I'm striving to become a better muslim in the eyes of no one else but Allah SWT. The most gracious, the most merciful.

2019.07.08 a.m. 09:38 What is wrong with me? - These words are haunting me at night. Every time i close my eyes, i hear it. "Why are you like that?" "You're not good enough" "The world doesn't need you" "Stop being useless to us." "You're a bad person." Hey, Reality check, i am indeed what these statements truly meant. I know for a fact that no one actually likes me. I radiate bad vibes negativity. People pretend to like me. My personality's kinda fake. Is this why no one wants to stick by me? Is that why the friends that i have now are only pitying me? What do i lack? How can i be a better version of myself? What is wrong with me?

2019.08.01 a.m. 11:31 the first of august - D-23 to my birthday! To an age that society defines as a brand new decade! My 20's will be the coolest. I can't wait to get my first full time job, to graduate with my diploma, to hop on an airplane, to travel to cities, discover the world, meet people, find love and connection, try new adventures and to simply help the needy.

2019.08.26 p.m. 02:18 - today i had my last exam for 2.1. the end of a semester. right now I'm sitting i’m the mrt. On my way to bugis. To buy film. But all i can think about is Will today be the day? What if right now is the moment?

No current commitments. No plans. Just myself. I'm thinking about how in the midst of being surrounded by work to do, i have no time for myself. To recharge, to check in and ask if I'm truly okay..Because I'm not. I really am pushing or suppressing emotions. I'm not allowing myself to let go. No anxiety attacks lately. Am i getting better? Or is this just my mind playing tricks?

2019.10.01 p.m. 10:57 cbtl - I have work at 8 am which I've decided not to turn up for because i think it doesn't matter if I'm there or not..i love the nature of this new job and the learning outcomes from it but it's been 3 weeks and it's tough. i get that it requires the ability to be quick and precise but i just cant you know? With this particular mgr breathing down my neck every single time, i feel so tensed?? i know the reality is that not every job will be easy but i don't think this barista thingy will work out for me :( and I'm not deciding to ditch work just bc i can't handle things, but I'm tired from getting belittled for minor tiny ass mistakes i do. Why do people find the need to raise their voice and speak in a degrading manner while pointing out my mistakes which are so frickin small in front of others? To train me to be vigilant next time? Is it working? Yes. But did it hurt my self esteem? Totally. You saw my igstory lately... the one about smacking my face? It still upsets me :( I wasn't rude or anything i was honestly in a confused position. Because i genuinely did not know the exact ingredients to make iced latte (i wasn't taught yet) and the same mgr thinks i do even after telling her i dont!! I asked her if it's made from iced water base but she kept emphasising the word 'ICED LATTE' indicting that i was dumb and she got fed up and said it's milk based + I'll smack your face..rude. She could have told me. The thing about me is that i remember lists really well so if she'd told me at the beginning we could have avoided this moment that ruined my day and hurt my feelings. I know it was my fault for not practicing much last week so that's why when i was asked to make hot espresso drinks it caught me off guard. I told the same mgr that i did not have much opportunity to do so bc the other workers mostly made the drinks and she still belittled me. Also i had to make this drink called Hot Vanilla which is similar to Hot Chocolate and i remember DISTINCTIVELY that one of my colleagues taught me to use cold milk as base so i did the same thing and one of the other colleagues saw and again... in a loud degrading manner pointed out my mistake and proceeded to say things like "YOU ASK AND ASK SO MANY THINGS THEN DON'T BOTHER REMEMBERING SO U ASK FOR WHAT" in a really mean tone... that was uncalled for. i had to choke up my emotions and reply an apology in a joking manner like i always do bc idw to cry.

2019.12.18 p.m. 09:39 the decade in recap - 2009-2019 i was 10 years old then but I'm 20 years old today. I really grew up uh? I went through so many things. I did them. I became who i am today.

2020.01.21 a.m. 08:45 three weeks into the new year and I'm already over it - year, please be nice to me. I've cried way too much. I don't want to be sad all the time. I want to feel like myself again. It's been years...that for some reason happiness and a good life can't work hand in hand for me.

2020.01.23 p.m. 08:57 work hard and work smart? - I studied only two days prior. But in those last two days i put in a lot effort. I sacrificed sleep, my health, hygiene and everything into utilizing every second to absorb as much studying as i can. I convinced myself that i can do it. I can make things work. But did it? I took my tax paper and did mistakes...obvious unforgivable mistakes that i actually practiced so hard on but still did it. I took my finance paper and my mind decided to omit the one information that i needed to answer that question even though I've memorized it repeatedly in my mind beforehand. It's really times like this where i truly am disappointed with myself. I could have done better had i put in more effort. I could have aced it if i did my preparation early. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like I'm not as good as my peers. This whole week was so tiring for me. I was alone and realized that i am ALONE alone. My friends? They don't even care about me unless i took initiative to approach them. It's been suffocating lately, trying to take in all the crap that I've been getting. I'm so tired of crying. I don't even want to feel happy anymore. What's the point....

2020.02.19 p.m. 01:06 1 down, 4 more to go - auditing.... you're not my cup of tea. I'll admit it. in the beginning i didn't understand what was going on. but after literally crash coursing on the whole module this past week, i can say i still don't get it. But nevertheless i think i did ok for the paper. Idk. I thought I'd failed my mst only to be surprised by the score. So maybe the universe will work the same way this time. Or not.

So today i will be going on a full-blown revision marathon for my three papers next week. I'm pinning my hopes on getting at least B+/A for FOT and FOI. IF? we'll strive to get one level about the bare minimum.

I hope this semester sees an improvement in gpa or maintenance of my current one. Would really break my heart to see it plunge down. To future me, we'll be okay. If we're not, don't beat yourself to it. While the whole "grades don't define you" advice does give a sense of relief, it means shit. Grades matter... At least for university.

Remember that one day we'll get a degree. Failure isn't forever.

2020.05.30 a.m. 04:37 Why i don't ask about my jodoh in prayers - while i do romanticize love based on fiction and the amount of love series i watch, i don't necessarily crave for it. I used to, but i don't. One reason could be that i am not surrounded by many malay guys and two, i am not in a position to be able to experience it. It's both. I don't try and I'll not try.

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alexmiranda22 · 5 years ago

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7 Steps to Mastering Integrity in Your Business Life

I’ve been studying the concept of “integrity” for over 45 days straight. I wanted to learn as much as I could because, quite honestly, I needed to fix this area of my life.

But now it’s time to stop talking “theory” and start putting things into action in our businesses. My employees, vendors, and clients will more likely remember what I do than what I say.

We can all sit and learn something for days and months, but in the business world, seeing is believing!

The bible says:

For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. (James 1 23-25 ESV)

God is looking for doers of the Word – people that listen intently to the lesson and apply it directly and immediately into their lives.

I’ve compiled a list of my favorite 7 actions you can take today to improve your integrity in business and in life. Do these so that your life as a whole comes into alignment with your true pure heart, opening up the floodgates of blessings that Jesus wants you to experience!

These are the 7 Godpreneur Rules to Mastering Integrity in Your Business Life

1) Godpreneurs Are Punctual

You can build integrity by being on time (or even early) to meetings.

Do you think your time is more important than the person you scheduled a meeting with? If you’re late, you’re selfish.

I know I’m being very blunt, but there’s no two ways around it.

I’ll admit that I say I’m going to be somewhere at 1 pm, and sometimes I get there at 1:05. That’s my lack of integrity. And because I know I suffer from this, I need to trick my brain into being at the meeting at 12:30 until I can master the art of being somewhere 10-15 minutes ahead of time, which is ideal.

Punctuality is important in business. It shows the person you’re meeting that you value them and their time. Business people appreciate a punctual person.

2) Godpreneurs Keep Good Company

You can build integrity by surrounding yourself with people who have good integrity.

1 Corinthians 15:33 says “bad company corrupts good character.” Don’t waste your time with people who can’t keep their word.

Because I’m working on my integrity, I’ve made it a point to surround myself with people who have integrity because the opposite of the verse above is also true: good company influences greater character!

Consider starting a group of like-minded Godpreneurs at your church who want to succeed and have integrity. Godpreneur Meetups are the action behind the biblical principle “iron sharpens iron”. Good Godpreneurs around you can make all the difference in the world.

3) Godpreneurs Do Not Commit To Everything

You can build integrity by saying “no” to certain requests for your time and effort.

If you have 100 things on your to-do list and struggle to balance all of your obligations, then you have integrity issues in the area of commitment.

I have goals, and taking the right steps to achieve them means I have to break off some existing commitments (your integrity will take a hit here) and say no to new opportunities that aren’t in line with my new goals (your integrity will regain points here).

Your commitments in business will drive your strategic priorities. Since your time is the most valuable asset you have, simplify what matters to your business right now and go after it. Integrity is a verb, not just good intentions.

4) Godpreneurs Keep Their Promises

You can build integrity by keeping your promises.

Don’t schedule a meeting with someone and then cancel because something else came up. People will forgive you, but they won’t forget. You might have the best reason in the world, but that can’t erase the memory of the cancelation.

I need to personally work on the concept that if I say I will do A, B, and C then I need to do A, B, and C. But admittedly, sometimes I do X, Y, and Z because it’s more important to me or to simply avoid doing the original commitment because it’s not suiting my needs anymore. This needs to stop.

You want people to talk behind your back and say “Man, that person really comes through with what they say they’re going to do!” Business people remember what you say, they remember a promise, and they remember when you fail to follow through on a promise because their own business or personal priorities rely on your word.

No matter what the cost, stand by your word in business. Your word is the currency of success.

5) Godpreneurs Practice Honesty In All Situations

If you want to set yourself apart from the rest of the businesses out there, practice honesty. Why? Because honesty is a virtue these days. People are actually surprised when others are honest, so they don’t forget you!

The bible says in James 5:12, “But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.”

When I’m going to be late on a project, my clients are more appreciative when I come clean that I’m going to miss a deadline than if I wait to explain myself AFTER the deadline. Ironically, it actually works in my favor to communicate that BEFOREHAND. And I know it sounds like common sense to let a client know if you’re going to be late, but I’m the first to admit that I don’t always practice this. I will be moving forward.

The business world will trust you and respect you more for being honest and upfront in all situations, especially the toughest ones.

6) Godpreneurs Get Back In The Game

You can also build integrity by getting back up when you get knocked down.

When you mess up in business it’s always best to take 100% responsibility, learn from the mistake, apologize to anyone that may have been affected, and move forward. Sometimes just making this effort will build back the trust that was broken.

I can’t cover up or ignore mistakes I’ve made in my business partnerships or on client projects. I just need to face reality and make a better effort tomorrow.

7) Godpreneurs Write It Down

You can also build integrity by writing down your commitments.

If you commit to something, write it as a task, preferably in front of the person. If you commit to a meeting, immediately open your Google calendar and schedule the date/time and invite the person to the meeting right away using their email. Writing things down shows the other person that you intend to do exactly what you say.

I’m pretty good at this because I have so many things going on that I NEED a system and process to hold me accountable for doing what I said I would do.

You need to take the time to make a note of what you just committed to. Then your employees, vendors, contractors, prospects, and clients will see you mean it and you will actually remember to do what you say you will do!

God uses the Word to transform or minds. God uses our actions to shape our journey.

Remember, we are shaped by our actions and we’ll make the most impact by the things we don’t just learn, but we do.

Praying we can all be doers of the Word so we can all level up our integrity our marketplaces.

7 Steps to Mastering Integrity in Your Business Life was originally published on Daily Godpreneur with Alex Miranda

#James

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olaluwe · 6 years ago

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Recently I was going through Facebook, and I stumbled on a post with a pictured couple. The man in the said post was a young African dude; while the woman on the other hand is an older white lady. Ordinarily, I shouldnt be bothered because things like these have been long coming. Besides, it is the norm especially in the western world where younger men are known for marrying women who are way older than them and vice versa for a number of reasons. In Africa nay Nigeria, it is the way older men marrying younger ladies, whether single mothers or not, and not the other way round. Or way older men marrying under-age girls. This is prevalent in the predominantly Muslim north of Nigeria. Music divas like Madonna and Tina Turner are classic examples of older white ladies, and celebrities for that matter, who had reveled in toy-boy bliss at some points in their life . If my memory serves me right, Tina Turner's current husband is way younger than her.

As for the material girl, Madonna, she once dated the youngster Ibrahim Zaibat, (picture above) who as of that time was 24, while Madonna was 53. However, I dont know if she ended up marrying him but speculations were rife then about engagement and stuff . But why would a young African dude settled for an older white woman? By far the most popular reason is financial gains. Another reason is companionship. There is also the need to get the necessary documents as immigrants in Europe or America. Like I said earlier, I don't give a f*ck whichever of those brought the couple in the post together like any other. Over and above that, they're adults and it is their life and what they do with it is certainly their call and not mine. So, why should I take pain killer over their headache, like they use to say in the local parlance? That's if they have one. To cut the lengthy story short, I ended up clicking through, against my earlier resolve, specifically, to see the comment section. And as I was scrolling down, my attention was drawn to a comment, written certainly by an aggrieved Nigerian lady. She trolls the young African dude for doing what according to her many of them wouldn’t do for the younger African single mothers that are with just a child. Arent that posturing defeatist and her indirect call for sympathy done out of ignorance of the fact that it is ill-advice for people to marry out of pity? It is like a black American lady ranting and accusing the single white ladies of taking away their few finest men. Is it the fault of the white ladies that there are only a few good black American men? Perhaps, I should also add by asking who says there are a few finest black American dudes. Obviously, the Nigerian lady disapproves of the any young African dude marrying an older white lady for whatever reasons no matter how germane. More so, when there're many single mothers at home wasting away. The way she talks you'd think white single mothers young or old don't have the right to desire for themselves what's good just like the Black single mothers. Whereas, what's good, they say, isn't just for one person or a select few. It is for everybody. Besides, many like my African sister have forgotten we now live in a globalized world where the chances of dating and marrying from other cultures are greatly enhanced by a lot of factors. And I remembered I replied her criticism of the union by saying it is nobody's right to tell two grown-up adults of opposite sex what to do with their lives as regards marriage whatever the races involved and the age differences of the two provided it is consensual. This brings me to the issue of what I dislike in most African single mothers, especially those who fall into the category of modern-day Baby Mamas as theyre called. I've dated one or two of them in the past. So, I would be making statements that may appear generalized but I can bet they are empirical as well. If you know, you know. Now, let's double down to the details of the matter. In no particular order, here are the 14 things I dislike about the most African single mothers: 1) They see men generally as unfortunate lot. Many of them see men as unfortunate lot just because a man disappointed them and at times they shut the door against even men with promises. 2) Self-pity. I've found out that most of them wallow in self-pity. They think everybody owes them sympathy just because of their single motherhood status. And as can be perceived even in the comment I alluded to above, the lady obviously would prefer all eligible bachelors consider them ahead of others like they're the one responsible for their predicament or misfortune. Im sorry if that sounds harsh. But it is the truth. 3) They think only men jilt. From what I've seen of many of them, there seems to be this generalized notion that only men jilt. They so easily forget or gloss over the simple truth that women just like men jilt making it a non-gender issue. 4) They demand that men who are wooing them to love their child (ren), in some cases, more than their Exs who got them pregnant. They do it even as a precondition for dating men and so missed out on the chance to get hooked sooner than expected. 5) They mournfully argue child bearing is no disease. Indeed, nobody thinks it is. However, when their relationship suffers a setback, they are quick to think it was as a result of their being single mothers. They tend to overlook other remote reasons that might be responsible for such. This they also do, when in truth, their kid(s) is standing in the way of a new relationship, especially, if the new guy sees it as a burden he cannot carry. 6) They want the new guys to take them with their baggage even if the guys dont have the means to do so. More so, they do it when they're not prepared to make amends. 7) They usually think their status is the fault of men who got them pregnant forgetting they owe it to themselves to say no or at least insist some form of preventive measures are adopted. 8) They are always the suckered ones. They assumed they are about the only ones that are the target of men whose game plan is to fool women. This is a false or wrong attitude to take into a relationship. 9) They over-dramatized the necessity for caution. Yes, having suffered disappointment in a previous relationship should be an eye opener to the pitfalls in a poorly handled affair. Nevertheless, it shouldn't call for over-dramatizing caution when it comes to starting a new relationship. People rise and people fall. When one has fallen, don't hesitate a second to get back on your feet. There's a Yoruba proverb that says: ' if one stumbles while learning to ride a horse, it's only normal to immediately mount it all over again'. 10) They struggle to gain adjustment. Adjustment is when a person or people come to themselves after straying into the wrong path in life. The first step to gaining adjustment from love related maladjustment is the consciousness or realization one has erred as a result of wrong priority or taking things for granted. Afterwards, the next thing is to approach the challenge frontally like a man with a broken down vehicle would. He calls in the trained specialist and his car gets fixed. 11) They overly play the victim. A victim is anybody who receives either a reversible or irreversible injury or ill-treatment from nature or from people. And it is only normal they traumatize or agonize. It's also normal they are on the lookout for support. But over playing the victim is when you refused to be healed even when there are ample time and a measure of commensurate assistance to help in mitigating the impact. 12) They scarcely add value to their men. Most African single mothers scarcely add value to the life of the new men who try to court them. Instead, they come with liability or unrealistic expectations which they expect their new male suitors to resolve unlike their white counterparts who are more or less an asset to have around. 13) They suspect all men but themselves. There is nothing worse than to live a paranoid or suspicious life. This many of them do under the guise of not letting down their love guard. As a single mother, the moment you start to become apprehensive or suspicious of the intention of men who approach you for a relationship; it deprives you of opportunities to have a chance at love again and to live a healthy love life with members of the opposite sex. As such today, you have many of them who are still single because they are unable to overcome abuse or breach of trust in a previous relationship. Yes, you cannot wholly trust every man that comes your way, but at least you must trust someone. 14) They think their world have come to the end. Many a time, the typical African single mother thinks her world has ended when it comes to getting another man to love them especially if there suffered one or two disappointment in the process of doing so. And instead for them to always prep up themselves ready to mingle, they sometime withdraw into the shell of inferiority complex brought about by their past mistakes. P.S: I want to salute the African single mothers who became single again either because of the untimely death of their husbands or to safe themselves from abusive relationships that have the potential to lead to death or permanent disability but are courageously forging ahead with the hope of remarrying and living a healthy marital life again. If you feel up to it, you're free, as a reader, to disagree, remove or add to this list as you wish.

#IFTTT #Blogger

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psychotherapyconsultants · 6 years ago

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Podcast: Bizarre Questions Psychiatrists and Therapists Have Asked

There is an assumption among many Americans that doctors are pretty darn smart and always know what they’re talking about. Psychiatrists work with the mentally ill, so they are certainly smarter than their patients. Because, after all, their patients are “crazy.” Right?

In this episode, our hosts discuss all the times that psychiatrists and therapists didn’t live up to the hype – or stereotype.

SUBSCRIBE & REVIEW

“Therapists and psychiatrists. . . They don’t know everything.” – Gabe Howard

Highlights From ‘Psychiatrists and Therapists Questions’ Episode

[1:00] What is the strangest thing a psychiatrist has ever said to Michelle about her illness?

[6:00] What is the strangest thing a therapist has ever said to Gabe about his illness?

[17:00] Michelle’s first psychiatrist was . . . not great.

[19:30] Gabe once had a legal issue with a therapist.

[26:30] What you should do if you’re dealing with a bad psychiatrist and/or therapist.

Computer Generated Transcript for ‘Bizarre Questions Psychiatrists and Therapists Have Asked’ Show

Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript has been computer generated and therefore may contain inaccuracies and grammar errors. Thank you.

Narrator: [00:00:09] For reasons that utterly escapes Everyone involved. You’re listening to A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic and A Podcast. Here are your hosts, Gabe Howard and Michelle Hammer. Thank you for tuning into A Bipolar, A Schizophrenic and A Podcast.

Gabe: [00:00:21] I’m Gabe, bipolar.

Michelle: [00:00:23] I’m Michelle, schizophrenic.

Gabe: [00:00:24] And we’re here to talk about. Well weird shit that doctors have said to us about our mental illness and to clarify we mean psychiatrists, therapists, psychologists, emergency room doctors, social workers, general practitioners, the weird lady at the urgent care. We’re encompassing all medical staff. Michelle!

Michelle: [00:00:50] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:00:50] What is the weirdest thing a Doctor has said to you about schizophrenia?

Michelle: [00:00:56] The weirdest thing about schizophrenia..that doctors have ever asked me? Well I…before I was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia.But I knew I had schizophrenia. So it was just kind of get trying to get to go see a psychiatrist. There was a therapist I was talking to and I was just kind of sitting there not really talking and just saying that like I can’t concentrate. I was like seeing things. Stuff like that.

But I knew I had schizophrenia. So it was just kind of get trying to get to go see a psychiatrist. There was a therapist I was talking to and I was just kind of sitting there not really talking and just saying that like I can’t concentrate. I was like seeing things. Stuff like that.

Michelle: [00:01:19] And I was just laying there and she says to me “you know you’re not acting like a woman of what you’re attractiveness should act like.”

Gabe: [00:01:28] What.

Michelle: [00:01:29] Yes.

Gabe: [00:01:30] What diagnostic criteria do you think that wait wait.

Gabe: [00:01:34] Is this a true story.

Michelle: [00:01:35] This is a true story. She said to me multiple times multiple times she said this to me. You are not acting what a woman of your attractiveness should act like.

Gabe: [00:01:45] Because you had so much confidence that she just figured that because you’re so ugly you should just be more.

Michelle: [00:01:50] No. It was like it was like No yours. It was like almost like you’re way too pretty to be acting this weird.

Gabe: [00:01:58] Are you sure that’s where she was going.

Michelle: [00:01:59] I think that’s where she was going with it.

Gabe: [00:02:01] You just assume that she was calling you pretty she wasn’t like.

Michelle: [00:02:04] She was calling me attractive.

Gabe: [00:02:06] Really. I agree. I’m giving you a hard time.

Michelle: [00:02:08] You really are.

Gabe: [00:02:09] Do think that there is any. Again we try to examine things from all sides.

Gabe: [00:02:16] What do you think her purpose of asking that question was.

Michelle: [00:02:20] It wasn’t a question it was a statement.

Gabe: [00:02:22] What do you think the purpose of that statement was.

Michelle: [00:02:25] It all I felt like was OK. She thinks I’m good looking and that I’m not acting normal.

Gabe: Yeah you’re seeing a mental health professional.

Michelle: [00:02:33] But I don’t understand.

Michelle: [00:02:34] I don’t know what it was ugly with it. Well what if I was extremely ugly then she would have said well you’re just not acting right.

Michelle: [00:02:41] She wouldn’t have added in that attractiveness. What does attractiveness have to do with mental health and mental illness and schizophrenia. What does attractiveness have anything to do with that with that idea.

Michelle: [00:02:52] I it just made no sense to me attractiveness and acting a certain way. What what.

Gabe: [00:03:00] I completely agree.

Gabe: [00:03:01] And that really is the weirdest thing that you’ve ever been asked.

Michelle: [00:03:04] That I can recall as a right now that is just the strangest thing anyone’s ever said to me. Another thing that this woman said to me was has any boyfriend or girlfriend ever told you that they love you.

Gabe: [00:03:18] Now I can now hang on.

Gabe: [00:03:20] I do think that that is a weird question on the surface but that that could have some diagnostic criteria. I mean how you feel about yourself. Have you been in stable relationships. There’s a good follow up question how did you feel when somebody said that to you. Because I had a therapist once asked which which I did I’ll fully admit I thought was weird at the time asked me if my parents told me that they loved me. And I thought yeah they tell me that all the time. And I thought it was a really weird question. But years later I learned that if I would have been like no my parents hate me like that would be a good indication of my home life or maybe some other struggles that I’m going with. I do think it’s a bit weird the whole you know have you ever been in like a like a romantic relationship with it but. That. That might be one of those weird questions that could have some some value.

Michelle: [00:04:10] It could have some value but it’s really odd. Apparently if I’m not acting the way a girl of my attractiveness is supposed to act then I guess I’m not you know nobody’s telling me that they love me as as well.

Gabe: [00:04:21] Just out of curiosity Michelle.

Michelle: [00:04:22] Yes.

Gabe: [00:04:23] Do you feel that you act appropriately for a woman of your attractiveness.

Michelle: [00:04:27] What is a woman of my attractiveness supposed to act like.

Gabe: [00:04:31] Oh I see what you did there. No actually I don’t. What.

Gabe: [00:04:36] I have no idea. That’s just nuts. It’s nuts.

Michelle: [00:04:40] define find me that in a medical journal of levels of attractiveness and personality.

Gabe: [00:04:47] Well that probably does exist. Our looks do determine the types of jobs we get the type of health care we get where we live our level of success.

Michelle: [00:04:56] Excuse me Danny DeVito is quite successful despite his looks So not really.

Gabe: [00:05:01] Yeah. And so as Steve Buscemi. But you have to admit that the majority of leading men in Hollywood don’t look like Steve Buscemi and Danny DeVito.

Michelle: [00:05:15] That’s true. That’s true. But I’m saying for a woman in Hollywood they usually have to be way hotter. Like all those sitcoms you know it’s the hot wife and the ugly husband.

Gabe: [00:05:24] Oh yeah. Yeah. That gave me hope as a child. I’m not going to lie because I was I was like an ugly ass teenager and I would turn on the TV and I’d be like yeah I’m going to be fine.

Gabe: [00:05:33] You’re going to get Lisa Remini.

Gabe: [00:05:34] Totally. Is it Layah?

Michelle: [00:05:37] It was Leah is it Leah!

Gabe: [00:05:39] Oh it’s Leah. Really. Oh sorry sorry sorry Leah Remini. We forgot your name.

Gabe: [00:05:44] She’s cool now that she’s left Scientology.

Michelle: [00:05:47] Good for her. Good for her.

Gabe: [00:05:49] She did go back to Kevin James for a season of a show that got canceled because it turns out you can’t redo your show with a different title 20 years later where they made the mistake is that they should have just brought back the same show 20 years later.

Gabe: [00:06:06] Yeah I don’t know.

Michelle: [00:06:07] Ok. What’s the strangest thing that you’ve ever been asked.

Gabe: [00:06:11] I’ve been asked a lot of very strange things that I have now come to realize have a lot of intrinsic value. as you know one of the things when we were mapping out the show we talked about how all of our doctors have asked us about our masturbation habits and how that’s really embarrassing and we’re not going to spend a lot of time on it. But I always thought that that was frankly the weirdest question. Do you masturbate? How long does it take you? Oh my God why are they asking me this? But of course the sexual side effects of medications being as they are. That’s actually a really good question for a psychiatrist to ask. It’s really important it’s the number one reason that people stop taking medication so steering into that curve and discussing it is really good. But I’m not going to lie. When I was 25 years old sitting in a doctor’s office in front of a 60 year old man who kind of sat with a hunch and he was like “Do you masturbate” I like my I just wanted to be like No no no no. Like all of my Catholic guilt just came like flooding into my body. And you know I do. And I did and I did answer honestly because that’s how you get good care.

Gabe: [00:07:15] So that’s a good question. But definitely a weird one but this is the story that I want to share. This isn’t the weirdest thing.

Gabe: [00:07:21] It’s the most offensive thing that ever happened to me in therapy and it still bothers me to this day.

Michelle: [00:07:28] I cannot wait to hear this one.

Gabe: [00:07:30] There was a period of time where I wasn’t quite in recovery but I certainly wasn’t as sick as I was at the beginning. So I always say that it took me four years from diagnosis to reaching recovery which I define as spending more time living my life than spending on bipolar disorder. So probably about three three and a half years in I was doing pretty well wasn’t quite there but very very close and I was working with a therapist on you know what are my next steps. What what does life after fighting bipolar disorder look like.

Gabe: [00:08:03] And I said you know I think I’d like to be a public speaker. And he said Why do you want to be a public speaker?

Gabe: [00:08:12] And I said the person in history that I really kind of admire the most and read a lot about and study is Dr. Martin Luther King Junior.

Gabe: [00:08:22] I really like him because it he changed the way that people felt about things that largely using his words he explained things to people in a way that people could understand. I didn’t live through the civil rights movement I wasn’t born until 1976 so I’m reading all of this backwards but I watch his speeches and I just think wow he is taking a very complex social structure issue and made it so people can understand it and people followed him and they respected it. And I wanted to be like him. I do I want to this day to be like him and I said I want to be a public speaker just like Dr. King. And I was proud like this is this is what I wanted. This was my dream. And he looked at me and he said that is grandiosity. You need to talk to your psychiatrist. You need to get that treated. You will never be as good as Dr. King.

Michelle: [00:09:16] Woah.

Gabe: [00:09:17] And I said No no no I I’m I’m not saying that I am as good as Dr. King or that I’m going to be as I’m I’m just saying that I want a career like Dr. King’s I’m just I’m pulling a famous person out of my ass to explain it or somebody that I look up to because if I said hey I want to be a public speaker like John Doe you would say Who’s John Doe. I’m not saying that I think I’m as good as Dr. King or I’m going to be as good as Dr. King I’m saying that’s like my dream. My goal.

Gabe: [00:09:46] And he’s like you need to understand that that kind of thinking will only serve to hurt you.

Gabe: [00:09:51] You need to understand your limitations as a person living with bipolar disorder that you cannot do that he is one of the greatest orators of our time and you mentioning your name in the same breath with him is it is.

Gabe: [00:10:04] Is it’s just a mental illness.

Michelle: [00:10:08] Interesting. Just mental illness is that is the difference.

Gabe: [00:10:12] And I said Look you’ve never heard me speak. How do you know. Maybe I’m already as good as him. I don’t think so because I’m terrible but really I can’t I can’t strive to be as good as the best. Like every single person when when they sit down in their chosen career they should not look to whomever the best is and aspire to be that good. Just because you’re aspiring to be as good as the best doesn’t mean that you think you are. every single rookie basketball player when Michael Jordan was playing. They worked really hard to be as good as Michael Jordan.

Gabe: [00:10:45] Nobody hit it but somebody eventually did. Hats off LeBron.

Gabe: [00:10:50] But there is a difference between wanting to be as good as somebody and delusional thinking that you are. I never once said I’m already as good as Dr. King never said it. I still don’t say it and I am a fantastic public speaker. I work really hard to be a good public speaker and I strive every day to be a better public speaker. But I would never say that I’m as good as Dr. King. That’s not for me to decide. That’s for an audience to decide.

Michelle: [00:11:19] That’s true.

Michelle: [00:11:20] Is for the audience. It’s how much you you like touch them in the audience. Not bad touch no good touch bad.

Michelle: [00:11:28] I about that but how. It’s the what they learn from what you’re saying and how powerful it is. If people pay attention. If you are engaging in all of that. I remember when I told my my doctor I wanted to be a public speaker I said I want to be as good as Obama. And he kind of said to me well that’s that’s a very that’s someone to look up to yes I know he had a lot. He said that he has a lot of experience and he has help with his speeches but you ca strive to be as good as Obama.

Michelle: [00:11:56] It’s gonna be a challenge but it’s a good person I look up to I guess.

Gabe: [00:12:00] That and that’s that’s all I really wanted and what really bothered me the most is for me it was kind of a throwaway statement. I was just looking for an example of somebody whose career I wish to emulate.

Michelle: [00:12:11] You were looking for encouragement. I really was. He just shut you down. Yeah. Did you get rid of this guy?

Gabe: [00:12:17] Yes. Good. Yes I did. Good. But it still took a couple of weeks. I mean I went for a couple of more sessions and I brought it up again because I wanted closure. I thought that maybe he misunderstood. So a couple of weeks later I had another appointment and I said hey you know I want to talk about this Dr. King thing.

Gabe: [00:12:35] And he reiterated he asked me if I talked to my doctor about my grandiose thoughts. If I was hypo manic and no matter what I said he wouldn’t get off it. He really truly believed that the best help for Gabe Howard at that time was to make sure that I understood that wanting to be a good public speaker and wanting to be as good as one of the best public speakers in history was an example of grandiosity and I just I didn’t say that I was. I said that I wanted it to be and I was willing to put in all the work. I’m still willing to put in all the work but but listen I have a dream of clarity. I don’t understand why we can’t learn from the people above us. You know people talk about how we don’t learn from history and history is doomed to repeat itself.

Gabe: [00:13:27] And I come in and sit down and I say I’m learning from history I’m respecting the people that came before me. I’m learning about the people that came before me and I really respect that. Dr. King was nonviolent. I really respect that. Dr. King did not antagonize his enemies. I respect that Dr. King didn’t call people names. I respect that Dr. King spoke up at great personal risk to his finances his personal life and ultimately his safety which I do not think that our cause is quite as dangerous obviously.

Michelle: [00:14:01] But I mean yeah. You do everything that you can do to be a better public speaker. I mean one time we were talking you said you even watch preachers speak.

Gabe: [00:14:09] I do. Yeah I do pretty good for an atheist right.

Michelle: [00:14:11] Yeah because I was I guess I was watching TV on like a TV that barely any channels.

Michelle: [00:14:17] I got stuck on watching a preacher speak and I was like oh look at this preacher go. He is great.

Michelle: [00:14:23] And I told you about it and you’re like Oh yeah I wasn’t a preacher because all the time just how they do it how they how they command an audience how they tell a story like I’m not I don’t listen to preachers ever really ever because I’m Jewish. Listening to this guy talk. I was like wow he has his audience captivated with the story that he’s telling. I want to be able to captivate an audience like that.

Gabe: [00:14:48] Yeah.

Michelle: [00:14:48] That’s not grandiosity. No that’s me wanting to be that good and trying to understand what that person did to be able to control a room that well.

Gabe: [00:14:57] Right. Right. Yeah. And look therapists they don’t know everything. If you go to a therapist and they tell you something that doesn’t sit right. The first thing that you should absolutely do it’s talk to them about it. You shouldn’t just assume that the misunderstanding is then being an asshole. I went back and discussed it with him and he doubled down. And then I realized that I needed a new therapist. But I did everything I could. I put there was two weeks between those two appointments so I let the dust settle. I calmed down I talked to other people about it. I talked to my friends I’m like hey you know this guy said X to me and and that’s really why I did it cause they encouraged me like Look maybe you misunderstood it like that. That doesn’t sound right Gabe. And they weren’t saying that to be mean. They’re saying that because misunderstandings happen all the time. They do they misunderstandings happen all the time.

Gabe: [00:15:41] So I went back and tried to talk it out with him but he was very clear that I would never be a public speaker.

Michelle: [00:15:50] Umm he can suck it.

Gabe: [00:15:51] Yeah yeah yeah. Every time I walk on stage sometimes I think of him and it makes me smile.

Gabe: [00:15:58] Remember those two thousand people gave me a standing ovation.

Michelle: [00:16:02] Yeah yeah yeah yeah. You should send a video of that to him.

Gabe: [00:16:05] God I wish I had it.

Michelle: [00:16:08] Let’s pause and listen to a commercial.

Gabe: [00:16:10] We’ll be right back.

Narrator: [00:16:13] This episode is sponsored by betterhelp.com secure convenient and affordable online counselling. All counselors are licensed accredited professionals. Anything you share is confidential. Schedule secure video or phone sessions plus chat and text with your therapist whenever you feel it’s needed. A month of online therapy often costs less than a single traditional face to face session. Go to betterhelp.com/PsychCentral and experience seven days of free therapy to see if online counselling is right for you. Betterhelp.com/PsychCentral.

Michelle: [00:16:44] And we are back.

Gabe: [00:16:45] Michelle what are some other weird things that doctors have said to you. What are doctors medical establishment mental health people general practitioners just anybody but your mom. Let’s leave your mom out of this episode.

Michelle: [00:16:56] The first psychiatrist I saw when I was 18 the first week she gave me a prescription for some medicine. And then when I showed up the next week she was talking about giving me the more samples of the medicine. I said well no you prescribe me a prescription last week and she goes oh I gave you a script last week. What did I give it to you of.

Gabe: [00:17:18] She didn’t even know?

Michelle: [00:17:18] She did even know she had to give me a prescription and she didn’t know the medication. She gave it to me. What medication she even prescribed to me.

Gabe: [00:17:26] So you were seeing a doctor they didn’t know what medication you were on.

Michelle: [00:17:29] Or that she’d even wrote me a prescription.

Gabe: [00:17:31] I mean that’s that’s great medical care right.

Michelle: [00:17:33] Yeah. Right there.

Gabe: [00:17:33] How did that make you feel.

Michelle: [00:17:36] Made me feel like she did not care about me. She was not doing anything in my best interest. And after the whole debacle of my cop story that you may have heard and in previous episode she was fired.

Gabe: [00:17:48] Oh wow.

Michelle: [00:17:49] Yes.

Gabe: [00:17:49] We all know there’s not good care. I don’t I don’t think anybody listening is like Oh when your doctor doesn’t know what medication you’re on you’re getting good care. We all know that that represents not getting good care and it doesn’t matter if it’s psychiatric or any health space. If your doctor doesn’t know what they prescribe you that’s pretty sad. But you’re 18 years old.

Michelle: [00:18:07] First meds I’ve ever been on.

Gabe: [00:18:09] First meds you’ve ever been on, a doctor is very cavalier.

Michelle: [00:18:11] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:18:12] Like did that set you back as far as getting medical care.

Michelle: [00:18:16] Yes because I was also never told that medication could make you more upset. So I would take it and then I would stop taking it and then I would take it and then I would stop taking it. And it just never went well because I thought Oh I’ll take medication. I’ll feel happy I’ll be better.

Michelle: [00:18:32] Didn’t work because I was diagnosed as bipolar which we now know is incorrect. So I was on the wrong meds in the first place. So when she asked me how I was doing I was miserable but I wasn’t running around like a maniac anymore. I was like I guess I’m good I’m I’m good I guess. But like her being a psychiatrist should have noticed that I’m saying yeah I guess I’m happy. I’m like I’m I’m good.

Michelle: [00:18:53] Don’t you think a psychiatrist would have noticed that that’s not an example of happy behavior?

Gabe: [00:18:59] You know I wasn’t there but.

Michelle: [00:19:02] But if I was like I feel so great right now I love these meds! as opposed to I you know I guess I feel good.

Michelle: [00:19:11] Yeah I feel good. Yeah. I mean yeah yeah I know OK.

Gabe: [00:19:16] Yeah you seemed very like a flat.

Michelle: [00:19:18] And say that’s what a doctor is supposed to notice about you when you go to these things and she obviously didn’t she was not doing her job correctly.

Michelle: [00:19:28] Gabe tell me another ridiculous thing a doctor a practitioner a therapist psychiatrist anybody whatever what have they said to you.

Gabe: [00:19:37] The you know sadly I have I have one that involved a pseudo lawsuit and I have to be very very careful not to give a lot of details but the bottom line that I want to discuss as I was seeing a therapist and the therapist started doing some weird things like some things that are not OK and I told the people around me I told a couple of my friends that this was happening and they didn’t believe me. And I said this is happening and he is doing these things and they’re like No we don’t believe you. And I just kept insisting that it was happening and nobody nobody would believe me. And eventually after several weeks of this I quit I quit that therapist. I said I’m not I’m not going to him anymore and I switched I switched over to a different therapist and had to start the program over and it was kind of a mess and then a year goes by. And people were mad at me for quitting. They told me that I acted irresponsibly that therapists don’t behave this way that that kind of behavior is illegal and that that would never happen. And it was all in my head and this was just part of my paranoid delusions and I was so desperate for help and now I was quitting on this great therapist and I they they really really shamed me.

Gabe: [00:20:44] It was it was intense. Fast forward about a year year and a half get give or take. And I’m sitting at work and he calls my boss. just just picked up the phone and he calls my boss. So he says that he has a client and he won’t give the client’s name but that that client reported that I was hitting on her that I was I was asking her out and this is inappropriate because she is in such a vulnerable place. I want to be quite clear about a couple of things real quick. One at the time I was single two this woman was well over the age of majority. She was she was in her late 20s and three it never happened. I never asked this woman out. I didn’t. I never asked her out I never flirted her with her I never hit on her. No way.

Michelle: [00:21:38] No no no winks no massages.

Gabe: [00:21:39] No no winks no massages no nothing. She was she was a volunteer for an organization that I worked for. The reason that I say that we were both adults and that we were both single is because even if I had asked her out there’s no crime here. You don’t call somebodies boss to report them for hyper sexuality because they asked a single woman out.

Gabe: [00:22:00] But the fact that it never happened was just even worse.

Gabe: [00:22:05] And he said I want you to know that I know Gabe’s long history of inappropriate sexual behavior which in fairness I do have a long history of inappropriate sexual behavior.

Michelle: [00:22:17] The therapist said this to your boss.

Gabe: [00:22:19] Yes.

Michelle: [00:22:19] Isn’t that breach of contract.

Gabe: [00:22:21] I that’s that’s the way I saw it I. So. So my my boss of course came to me and said I I’m I’m getting reports of this. Do you know anything about this. And I said I said I haven’t asked anybody out that is dealing with our workplace like nobody. Like for real I’m I’m sort of half with my ex-girlfriend. It was it was a weird time I said so I have no idea. And she said Okay I’m going to monitor the situation. A few days later a letter came in from the person who listed all of the times that I made her feel uncomfortable and I was allowed to see the letter and it was it was such hokum. It was like you know he made me feel uncomfortable because he texted me at home. When I told him I didn’t have a ride he offered to get me a ride. Things that did happen. And then she went on to explain that she was just in a very vulnerable place and that she didn’t want this attention for men. Listen. It’s completely her issue and any good therapist would have said look if a man is asking you out you need to tell him no.

Gabe: [00:23:33] If a man is not respecting your boundaries you need to let him know or he could have said look you’re a volunteer for an organization. He’s the volunteer coordinator. It’s his job to follow up with you. So you’re misreading the situation. Any of those would have been more appropriate than him picking up the phone and trying to get me fired from my job.

Michelle: [00:23:49] I can’t.

Gabe: [00:23:51] He ended the call to my boss with you need to rethink his employment.

Michelle: [00:23:57] Oh I would have.

Michelle: [00:24:00] Oh my God I can’t even imagine what I would have done.

Gabe: [00:24:02] I hired a lawyer immediately. Good day.

Michelle: [00:24:04] You’re smart Gabe because I would have. I can’t say that out loud.

Gabe: [00:24:07] I hired a lawyer and I filed a complaint with both his boss and the ethics board. Would that certify social workers. I filed complaints immediately. The ethics board came because a social worker. The the ethics board came back and said that he did not break any laws because he had a duty to warn. I’m a volunteer manager for a charity.

Gabe: [00:24:31] And he had a duty to warn a duty to warn.

Michelle: [00:24:34] He he told your personal information to your boss.

Gabe: [00:24:37] Yeah. Yep the ethics board said that that was OK and they were closing the case.

Gabe: [00:24:41] The I did get back the lawyer got a statement that that this would never happen again and that we would never speak of this again which is why I’m being very very clear not to use names I’ve changed the genders and things like that. So I just want to be very very very very very very clear that the reason that this is so incredibly damaging is of course because I refuse to see a therapist for two years after two years I finally went to a therapist to discuss this exact thing and that therapist who is still my therapist today was incredibly responsive said that no under no circumstances is that reasonable.

Gabe: [00:25:17] All of the people who told me that that I was being crazy when I reported to them hey I think this person is off their rocker. You know pardon the pun. I apologized profusely to me and said that they should have listened to me. They should have investigated more. And I tell the story now for two very important reasons. Sincerely one if you think that your medical provider is off tell somebody get help and ask them to investigate on your behalf. And the second reason I tell this story is because if you are currently telling your loved ones this or your friends or your support system and they don’t believe you play this podcast for them I’m not saying that you’re right. It is certainly possible that you are in the wrong but if your support system won’t even investigate won’t even have a conversation won’t talk to the person supervisor and won’t get to the bottom of why you feel this way. You’re doing yourself a great disservice in therapy because if you’re going to therapy feeling like you’re being abused you’re not getting good therapy. So I told the people around me because I wanted them to investigate on my behalf because I could have been wrong.

Gabe: [00:26:22] I I’ll be the first to admit I have been wrong about therapists doctors etc. because I have delusions I have paranoia I have low self-esteem I have bipolar disorder. So it would not be unrealistic or unreasonable for me to misread the situation but nobody was even willing to investigate because of my diagnosis and that made me feel really alone and really vulnerable.

Gabe: [00:26:49] So please take people seriously because even if we’re wrong it doesn’t change that we feel this way. In this particular instance I was correct but there are other instances where I’ve been wrong. But the good thing is is anytime I complain now people investigate and keep an open mind and help me and I feel that this has led to me getting better care and having more trust in my providers.

Michelle: [00:27:12] That that therapist or psychiatrist or whatever needed to be fired fired fired and fired.

Gabe: [00:27:20] Straight up I have no idea why they dislike me so incredibly much but but they did the things that they told me in the therapy were incredible.

Gabe: [00:27:29] I mean just I knew something was wrong by the way that they were behaving. We would be in groups and because there was a group component to this particular type of therapy and the mocking was intense I felt bullied and abused. And when I reported it to people they’re like No no no that’s the type of therapy. And I would get on the Internet and I would read about it and I was like nowhere in here does it say that you’re supposed to call people names. I just it was it was awful.

Gabe: [00:27:58] And it was intense but listen I don’t want to scare you away from getting medical treatment. If you listen to this podcast and heard don’t seek treatment for mental illness you are not listening to what we are saying. We are simply telling you that we have been there. We have had awful things happen to us but we stayed the course. We found better providers and we got help and we got well at no point did Michelle and I decide hey we can handle bipolar and schizophrenia on our own.

Michelle: [00:28:25] That’s true. Cannot handle it on my own whatsoever.

Gabe: [00:28:28] Cannot find a good medical care replace bad medical care but do not opt for no medical care.

Michelle: [00:28:35] Yea don’t offer no medical care.

Michelle: [00:28:37] Don’t have one bad experience and say you’re never going to do it again. That’s what I did and that didn’t work out when my whole deal went down with my infamous cop story. I said that I was never going to get care from those people ever again and then I ended up back in the hospital. So that didn’t work and when I got out of the hospital I had to go back to the health center therapist and talk to them and I was explaining to the therapist there how it was their fault because they put me on meds that I didn’t like at all. And then they were saying no that’s not us.

Michelle: [00:29:09] That’s the psychiatrist that’s the health center. That’s not the therapist center.

Michelle: [00:29:14] So the school was saying it wasn’t their fault in the therapy. It was it was the medical psychiatrist which had nothing to do with the therapy even though the therapist suggested I go see the psychiatrist. They took no blame.

Gabe: [00:29:30] You’re saying so you had to advocate for yourself.

Michelle: [00:29:33] I had to advocate for myself like the woman was like that’s not us.

Gabe: [00:29:36] And because you advocated for yourself.

Gabe: [00:29:40] You now have a podcast right and a clothing line.

Michelle: [00:29:44] Right.

Gabe: [00:29:45] And you’re friends with Gabe. That’s right. Two out of three ain’t bad.

Michelle: [00:29:49] Yeah.

Gabe: [00:29:49] Thank you everybody for tuning in this week. We need you to do a couple of things for us so grab a pencil and paper one. Head over to iTunes leave us a five star review and write something they like it more to share this on Facebook. Social media e-mail it to a friend. We love that. Three go to PsychCentral.com/BSP and there’s comments under each and every one. Leave a comment we love and those conversations get started. And finally last but not least please have a great week.

Gabe: [00:30:15] We appreciate all of you listening in and we will see you next week.

Michelle: [00:30:19] Attractiveness!

Narrator: [00:30:20] You’ve been listening to a bipolar a schizophrenic kind of podcast. If you love this episode don’t keep it to yourself head over to iTunes or your preferred podcast app to subscribe rate and review to work with Gabe go to GabeHoward.com. To work with Michelle go to Schizophrenic.NYC. For free mental health resources and online support groups. Head over to PsychCentral.com Show’s official Web site PsychCentrald.com/bsp you can e-mail us a [email protected]. Thank you for listening and share widely.

Meet Your Bipolar and Schizophrenic Hosts

GABE HOWARD was formally diagnosed with bipolar and anxiety disorders after being committed to a psychiatric hospital in 2003. Now in recovery, Gabe is a prominent mental health activist and host of the award-winning Psych Central Show podcast. He is also an award-winning writer and speaker, traveling nationally to share the humorous, yet educational, story of his bipolar life. To work with Gabe, visit gabehoward.com.

MICHELLE HAMMER was officially diagnosed with schizophrenia at age 22, but incorrectly diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 18. Michelle is an award-winning mental health advocate who has been featured in press all over the world. In May 2015, Michelle founded the company Schizophrenic.NYC, a mental health clothing line, with the mission of reducing stigma by starting conversations about mental health. She is a firm believer that confidence can get you anywhere. To work with Michelle, visit Schizophrenic.NYC.

from World of Psychology https://psychcentral.com/blog/podcast-bizarre-questions-psychiatrists-and-therapists-have-asked/

#World of Psychology

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risysir · 6 years ago

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PalenakaMarch 17, 2016 at 6:42 pm ∞

love this post! i think it’s tricky because when someone goes to hit on you at a bar, it’s essentially because they found something about your looks intriguing (and race does play into the way you work, clearly), but why they think a racial pick-up line would work is beyond me.

Fermin GualFebruary 23, 2015 at 11:07 pm ∞Reply

harrysanOctober 13, 2015 at 8:47 pm ∞Reply

I am a Hispanic man, not dark of skin; but not white (far from it). I could relate to the dilema you face. Personally: I like Asian Women, not because they are physically different; but because they are more loyal than 90% of the other women.

wcMay 30, 2015 at 9:42 am ∞

charleyOctober 17, 2015 at 4:01 pm ∞

You like Asian women because “they are more loyal than 90% of the other women.”?

Isn’t this exactly what she is railing against? More loyal then 90% of what other women? You’ve obviously never been to a Thai hostess bar have you?

Way to completely miss the point of the article lol

You mean I should talk to Asian girls just like I would any other girl?

Radical concept……but that’s what you’re saying right?

I moved to Vancouver a number of years ago from hickville Nfld. The only Asians I had seen outside of TV were at a Chinese restaurant 150 miles away. Moving to Vancouver….well….law of averages says I’ll date at least 1 Asian girl….I dated a few actually, and ended up marrying a Japanese girl 13 years ago.

She liked that I didn’t know shit about Japan, or try to relate things to her ethnicity. The fact was, her family had been Canadian for several generations, and mine, only 2. So she was more Canadian than me,

She liked that I didn”t always talk about the fact she was japanese…and she thought my “never give up” attitude towards chopsticks endearing.

Bravo! i love how u’re not only pointing out the issue but also presenting these guys with solutions. In my opinion, these guys simply don’t know what to say, so they pick a characteristic that’s seen right of the bat AND what they presume would be unique and relatable. Except they’re really not that original or appropriate.

Thank you for the tips; I appreciate your candor. I always gravitate towards Asian girls and tend to ask about their specific ethnicity, because I am fascinated by the struggles that Asian-American girls faced growing up in America. The question is not part of my one-line pick ups that I default to in hopes that It will ignite a desire for me. Email me if you’d like to continue this conversation; I’d like pick your brain on this topic.

AradFebruary 15, 2015 at 4:41 pm ∞Reply

Soren Fde HolmOctober 29, 2015 at 1:00 pm ∞Reply

jordieNovember 8, 2015 at 9:22 pm ∞Reply

Can we go on a date

So fucking what? you can get past most of woman’s bullchit simply by NOT caring what they think. 4.3 billion asian people in the world . half are woman. thinking about what she like or don’t like is the first mistake you make while approaching a woman.Just move on ;)

GOD THIS IS A SAD ATTEMPT LOL

Thanks Chin for your advice i’ll try it out soon and see where it gets me although i’m one of those guys unfortunately who find all Asian women simply irresistible and desirable and I melt in there presence. I’m a warm hearted and very pollite guy but get lost at first base. Incidentally got any girlfriends in Sydney Australia I could practice with. Love the colour of your hair in the pic above you look a bit clique but none the less amazing.

I like how the last two comments are guys trying to act interested so they can hit on you or a friend.

dailychinupsNovember 25, 2013 at 12:54 pm ∞Reply

Ha yep. They help prove my point so I leave those comments on here.

Jskuu1November 22, 2015 at 2:00 pm ∞

“Yea e-mail me so i can pick your brain as well!!!” Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah…. my first comment about guys not shouldnt use racial pickup lines and that being common sense, yea i take that back!!!’ Most guys have no clue what to say so they say the first thing that pops in to their head and don’t even think if it is offensive, racist, or even tasteful. Reading some of these comments deff give guys a bad name all over… but they are deff entertaining

So this is a white girl in an Asian body, lost count on them a while back. In general some girls are worth talking while the rest are over decorated feces. The reason why out of every 100 girls one talks to only 15% are good candidates lol.

dailychinupsNovember 25, 2013 at 12:53 pm ∞Reply

Don’t pretend like you know me, and how dare you call me a white girl. It must be fun for you to hide cowardly behind an anonymous account and leaving hateful comments on the internet for people who try to provide helpful genuine points of view and share a piece of their real opinions.

Your dumb comments just serve as evidence why I felt like I needed to write articles on this subject.

“So this is an ignorant internet bully, disguised as an expert on the subject. Lost count on them a while back. In general, some people are worth my time while the rest are haters with no lives.”

JohnDecember 4, 2013 at 4:53 pm ∞

JayDecember 5, 2013 at 6:00 pm ∞

dailychinupsDecember 9, 2013 at 11:30 am ∞

JayMarch 23, 2014 at 5:53 pm ∞

dailychinupsMarch 24, 2014 at 7:45 am ∞

JayMarch 24, 2014 at 7:29 pm ∞

mikeMay 25, 2015 at 4:59 am ∞

JamesNovember 22, 2015 at 2:14 pm ∞

Nothing wrong with being white. But I can see why you’re offended

I didn’t pretend to know anything about you, you easily gave that away.

” Your dumb comments just serve as evidence why I felt like I needed to write articles on this subject.”

No, you do this because you have nothing else going and vent your frustrations here online for others to comment and critique. Nothing coward about that or it seems you can’t face criticism and only expect positive feedback to make yourself feel justified.

I don’t see were I put expert in my original post ( You made that up) Ignorant? Please specify Internet bully? I just gave you the flip side on your article in a fraction of the size

Haters with no lives? First I don’t have a reason to hate you or hate on you, second yes I do have a very busy life style. (see how long it took me to reply back to you?) So you just enjoy the rest of the day :)

Honey, I took 2 months to reply to your first comment. I think it’s time you learn some basic math. http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-10/enhanced/webdr05/24/13/anigif_enhanced-buzz-7251-1382635074-27.gif

You are not cute and can’t act cute I have talked to women with more common sense and look beyond what your limited thoughts bring out of you.

I’m going to borrow the wise words of Erin Gloria Ryan a writer from Jezebel here: “You may not agree with a woman, but to criticize her appearance — as opposed to her ideas or actions — isn’t doing anyone any favors, least of all you. Insulting a woman’s looks when they have nothing to do with the issue at hand implies a lack of comprehension on your part, an inability to engage in high-level thinking. You may think she’s ugly, but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot.”

¿Ugly? ¿Idiot? Well anyone has and will be doing idiotic things from time to time, all humans do that (you are no exception). But far from that you are now being childish and stupid, it seems you have very big issues and take it to heart when your views are placed into question. Your responses are nothing more but desperate moves to make yourself think you are on top, who are you really kidding? Yourself? You enjoy your evening.

Dear: You should not even feed into that negativity….. pls don’t stoop to their level!!! I’m very attracted to Asian women and I find myself at lost for words to strike a conversation so I just don’t say anything and I know its my loss if you don’t have nothing nice to say to people….. then don’t say anything!!!!!

Way to keep a cool head… don’t let assholes stop you from you from writing on any topics with genuine intentions… and im from Phiily so Im not saing these things to get into your pants… you just seem like a helpful, caring person and i wouldnt wanna see retarded assholes change the way you are or stop you from trying to help people or writing on any topic that you have genuine feelings toward for fear of what a few immature or ignorant idiots that like to hide behind keyboards

Why would you help the dumbasses pick up girls your interfering with a possible upward trend in the gene pools. Jkin there’s really now way to predict shifts in prevalent traits / attitudes but I r bored.

Hi, i live in Norway, i have a chinese girlfreind (in china) i have traveled there several times, month away 6 weeks home, you only get one 30 day visa at a time, I fell very in love with her beacause she is great kind and wonderfull person, nothing else, any girl can be this, not matter her racial origins, it is so wrong to make rude remarks to a nice girl and try to pick her up with lewd comments about ethnic origins, this auther is too kind to explain to the idiots what they are doing wrong,

Michael PriceFebruary 15, 2015 at 6:18 am ∞Reply

Hi, how did you meet your girlfriend, and howbased is best way to meet a lovely Chinese girl when I’m London based?

Michael PriceFebruary 15, 2015 at 6:38 am ∞

Sorry for the poor English grammar

So my boyfriend confessed to me that he likes the fact I’m Asian, because he thinks that Asian girls are raised to be and better at keeping themselves fit and healthy. He points to the fact that I’m always conscious about eating enough green veggies and not afraid of trying other weird-looking dishes. At the same time, I’m not going to starve myself. We met each other at a dance club, which keeps us both pretty active.

I wonder what you think of this stereotype? Is there some truth to it or is it just as aggravating as the other “Giants-fan” stereotypes you go into detail in your Yellow Fever article on bolditalic? And what would you think and say about the man who admits these prejudices?

dailychinupsNovember 25, 2013 at 12:46 pm ∞Reply

Hi Rhea,

I mean it sounds like your boyfriend just likes you for who you are. You are healthy, fit, and adventurous not because you’re Asian. You just are. Being Asian is definitely a big and important part of our identity. Why shouldn’t your boyfriend like that you’re Asian?

My main issues with Yellow Fever are when men expect certain behavior/personality out of Asian girls, and then they get mad when we aren’t like that, or when they don’t spend the time and effort to get to know and understand Asian women as unique individuals. Your boyfriend doesn’t sound like he does either of those things to me.

I think it’s healthy that he admits his preferences to you openly. He’s not trying to hide anything from you. Unless he makes gross generalizations about Asian women or force you to act a certain way, I wouldn’t worry about it.

Thanks for leaving this thoughtful comment!

P.S. I love dancing too! :)

EliApril 28, 2015 at 3:30 pm ∞

Hello, I think you shirked it with Rhea…. Why?

” So my boyfriend confessed to me that he likes the fact I’m Asian, because he thinks that Asian girls are raised to be and better at keeping themselves fit and healthy. He points to the fact that I’m always conscious about eating enough green veggies and not afraid of trying other weird-looking dishes”

That is a silly utterance and a self serving one from her boyfriend! So only Asian girls eat healthily and are best at keeping themselves healthy? I completely disagree. I like Asian girls but it is not due to them being healthier than other races or being fitter, nope, they most certainly are not :) That fella displays a serious case of jaundice.

If I was in the market for a girlfriend, I’d simply travel to Asia. I’m there most of the time and I like the fact that the girls there lack the baggage and insecurities that weighs down British Asian girls or Asian Americans etc. An example of this is BBC, ABC, CBC?

I hasten to add colour does not come into it but you stand accused of not dealing the brothers in :)

twinkie

dailychinupsDecember 9, 2013 at 11:27 am ∞Reply

Of course, any Asian Americans who speak out against Asian American stereotyping must be a twinkie because there’s no way that Asian Americans are unique individuals just like everyone else, right? http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2013-10/enhanced/webdr01/24/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-4532-1382629227-29.gif

Hi, I live in The Netherlands and I am myself also from Asia. To be specifically from Indonesia. I am now a woman though, so I cannot talk from experience what you describe. I have been living here all my life , I was adopted when I was 4 months old. I have a brother and sister that were adopted too from the same city where I was born, but they have different biological parents. Your story is really great in that it shows how stupid American guys can be. Here in my country people are very open-minded and they tend to look inside the person rather than the outside. Dutch men are in general interested in other people when they found out, especially when they have contact with them for a longer time, for example at work. My experience is that Asian people in Europe, but certainly in my country have no hard time about what you describe. Of course, there are guys like you describe, but they are really a big minority. Nowadays its harder te be from muslim origin than from Asian origin.

I find nothing bad about men trying to pick you up in such way.First of all, the path to the girls pants is the main target,and there is no single way for it. Some asian girls find it racist if they attract white boys because they are asian. The other will tell you that you are an ass…ole because you don’t appreciate their cultural background. And so on. The point is it is wrong to use such cheap pickups, and it is also wrong to judge guys in such way. Maybe he was shy and didn’t know what to tell you,so he uses the old way. When I go to Asia, I am not offenden when girls approach me just because I am white or have money. If somebody wants my buritto, then I don’t care about the reason they like me and why they approach me in this way,as long as I like that person.

P.s michael Man, we will see how you talk in a year or 3, after you are divorced and broke. And your girlfriend is hanging out with Sebastian de la guerta on Hawaii )).

I don’t see what is so wrong or offensive about an Asian guy wanting to know your exact ethnicity. I do it all the time and the Asian girls I ask don’t mind it. Be proud of whatever ethnicity you are, and that question won’t bother you anymore.

Ni hao ma? Means “how are you?” not hi lol

dailychinupsMarch 20, 2014 at 9:02 am ∞Reply

I’m fluent in Mandarin and Traditional Chinese, so thanks for the unnecessary lesson.

the guy who said “another white girl stuck in an Asian girl body” was spot on. you are an Asian girl who wants to be a white American chick. why deny it? and you all have a sick fetish for white dudes…why is that not wrong for you? oh it is just a “preference” come on…admit your shit too.

dailychinupsMarch 20, 2014 at 9:07 am ∞Reply

Stop putting words in my mouth that I never said. You don’t know me but if you read my other blog entries or author info, you’d see that I am not “trying to be white American” and I do not have a “fetish for white dudes.” What laughable ideas.

Why don’t you admit that you’re an internet bully who thinks he has the right to make rude and judgmental comments without bothering to really read my writings?

haha…you call everyone who calls you out a “internet bully”. jeesus. really?

dailychinupsMarch 20, 2014 at 5:19 pm ∞Reply

You said “you all have a sick fetish for white dudes” about Asian American women. I’m out in the open writing about my real personal experiences on the Internet with my full name, background, contact info, and pictures associated with my identity. Meanwhile, you hide cowardly behind just one first name and an e-mail address making negative sweeping generations about me and women supposedly just like me. That is what internet bullies do. Look it up because I’m not going to waste any more time on you.

“generations”? or generalizations? wow..every ignorant brat have a blog now. smh

nameless internet bullyMarch 23, 2014 at 10:25 am ∞Reply

wow

I just had to comment on this. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your post!!! ;) I can honestly say that most men won’t change. It seems that it just seems to get worse and worse every year as well as the new generations do not understand what chivalry is anymore.

I also believe that these knuckleheads that speak to girls these ways are kinda on the cocky/confident side. If cat calling is something lots of guys do in your area, then you just have to blame the girls who gravitate to that type of behavior. After all, if it works on a few girls, then why not try it on all girls?

I have seen how girls flock to these types of guys which make it hard for a nice guy who actually has respect for girls, to approach them. I tested this out while I was a bit younger. I found that being nice doesn’t always attract the attention of girls. I usually have a habit of holding doors open for people and well…this one time, a girl said “I can do that myself!”. Umm, I said, “sorry, I just saw your hands full”. I still do nice things for people, but I was told that I was looked weak for doing this. When I acted a bit cocky, I saw that girls looked at me different. It was pretty sad and well, I don’t like to be with those types of girls who are attracted to jerks.

I guess overall, people are entitled to give their opinion. We’re all raised differently…so just prepare for the worst and hope for the best out of each person…right? ;) Best of luck to you girls who are having these issues. Maybe one day you should tell a guy off for cat calling? It might just give him some food for thought. ;)

JayApril 11, 2014 at 4:05 pm ∞Reply

Yes you are forever to be friend zoned and whipped.

I don’t understand this but it really depends on the girl. some girls like to be complimented on their breast and butt. some like when you tell them your cleavage looks awesome on that dress. And it doesn’t necessarily has to be an Asian woman, it can be any woman in general. and honestly why bother posting something to advice guy on how to pick up girls?. women should know by now that they will always get hit by guys in any way possible, it is nature if a guy looks at your ass or breast or your entire body in general it doesn’t mean he is a creep. It simple means that he is sexually attracted to you in ever possible way and obviously will try to get in your pants, which is normal.

Now that being said, you can’t discard this man simple by the way he looks at you, give him a chance.. unless he is a completely ugly ball of hair, then I understand, but I had been in many situations in which I like this woman and only one stare accidentally at their ass or breast they dismiss you completely. even though they don’t know your motives yet. So then she goes and tells her friends that I am some kind of creep because I looked at her improper. Excuse me?… what is a proper way of looking a woman then?, guess what… there isn’t. its called sexual attraction there is no love sort of speak, every relationship between a woman and a man will always end up in sex which is procreation, that ensure the survival of our species. but most woman nowadays, have come up with the most stupid arguments against man. don’t get me wrong, not every woman is like that but in my personal experience, it seems that woman is turning into this callous iron shell of creature that judges man improperly.

Again.. no man is a creep ladies, if a man is looking at you so bad that it bothers you, don’t blame him. blame his sexual instinct, sometimes this excitement can’t be stopped, sexual urge is difficult to conceal or relieve. if a man its “creeping” at you it just means his instincts are being triggered by nature.

Interesting topic, I love Asian people in general, they have many of the manners the west has forgotten, but as a western male, i think if you really like the people and you want to meet Asian Women, then you will meet them without having to try to pick them up, they will gravitate to you, if they find you interesting. if they do, be interested in them, and don’t push, and don’t act like you’re the best looking guy in the jungle and maybe the worst Scenario is that you end up with a friend who will make you much happier than you could ever wish

Well i don’t have any of these problems. lol Can i get some advice on how to handle anti-American parents? I really am at a loss for that.

Hi my name is edward,i just read your page i think it would realy help me in the long run,up till now i didnt know what to say to my friend who is all so asain now i understand that it dont matter what race she is as long as i treat her like a human bean and not a peace of meat she might be in to me.thanks again it mean so much to me even if i have no idea of who you are your words were a Bigg help opening my might to all posibilitys.

Lol just read my comment also and mind instead of might lol once again thanx:)

Chin is right on the money here with some simple, sensible, non-confrontational ways of showing an interest in ANYONE regardless of race, sex or any other particular trait. And that’s the point that many seem to miss. Just treat everyone the same – and don’t be overtly forward when introducing yourself, it won’t impress anyone.

Focusing on one particular external characteristic without knowing a person somewhat demonstrates a lack of credibility and imagination. Judging by looks alone will only get you so far. If that’s as far as you want to go, then good luck. If you genuinely are looking to meet new interesting people and maybe even a partner then take her advice and take a little time to really understand why their personality, character, behaviour and ALL aspects of appearance spark your interest. It’ll make conversation all the easier.

It’s worth that little effort.

I found this site off a Google search trying to get pointers on how to pick up Asian women. (I find Asian women unbelievably beautiful.) Why do I need pointers? Because it seems like Asian women don’t dig me. (I’m Hispanic.) I don’t hit on them and I don’t try to pick them up. Rather, all my interactions with them consists of my dealing with an Asian woman working at a Korean cafe or restaurant. I’m friendly, they’re friendly, but I always get the impression I’d strike out if I tried flirting with a Chinese or Japanese woman. Maybe one day I’ll summon up the courage to ask one out on a date.

I don’t understand why the “ni hao ma” line was inappropriate. Since it was another Asian guy perhaps he was Chinese and since you are Asian perhaps he was guessing that you spoke Mandarin. If someone says “How are you” or “Que pasa” they are just trying to start a conversation……

I did like reading your page, although at the end day, you should have said that guys who want to date asian women, should just be themselves as in dating any other woman, not to try to be something they are not.

I have been in two relationships with asian women one born Malaysia, educated in England the other born in the US, educated again educated England, both of them employed in English Healthcare.

I was just myself when I met these two women, I didn’t try to relate to their asian backgrounds, as western guy I would be out my depth if I tried, thats for learning later in the relationship.

What attracted me to them, mainly it was their smiles, the first wasn’t a so call online thing, it was a face to face, we worked in same place, we joke around for a while then it just happen.

The second was online thing, again facial attraction more than anything, we were just being ourselves, I’m not most attractive guy in the world, but its what you say that counts and that relates to any woman at the end day.

Although I did fall for both these women, behind their sweet smiles, they are very driven women, who can be very straight to the point and not to mention controlling of their men. So beware guys!

How about this angle. You say racism is always inappropriate? How about the fact that u didn’t include black males. I am a guy who REALLY doesn’t care what colour the girl I date is so I believe I have the moral authority to speak on this. You know this to be true. A lot of Asian women hold HUUUUGE racist attitudes and are unbelievable scornful of black men. They often feel by trash talking black guys with there Asian friends and white friends that they elevate their social status some how. It makes them feel very western and very white. Now Asian women that like guys are JUST INTO BLACK GUYS AND BLACK CULTURE. I DARE YOU TAKE A POLE OF 100 Asian women and watch their reaction it will either be EEWWWAH! Or U’ll see the minorety that real dig black men. Look into ur heart and examine urself. U may not like what u’ll find . Not saying ur racist but IM JUST SAYIN!

TedApril 13, 2015 at 9:55 am ∞Reply

*I meant Asian women that like black men JUST LIKE BLACK MEN AND ARE INTO BLACK CULTURE ( which is not homogeneous btw )

You prove my point to the letter my friend. One of the ugliest aspects of racism is exclusion. Could u not intelligently respond to my points? I said these things because I was informed of this from YES my Asian girlfriends in the past. They have sat in some of these hateful, scornful and stereotypical discussions about black males.

Thank you for sharing your perspective, and you make some good points, but TBH your “treat me like any other American” stance has a some sticking points that you need to be careful on, and I would love to hear your opinion on them. First, barring that he’s made any crossing-the-line type statements, if a guy actually has GENUINE interest in the language or culture stemming from your ethnicity, then why is it a problem? As long as it’s NOT the ONLY piece of your individuality he appreciates, it shouldn’t be; diversity is a beautiful thing in this world. But just as racism doesn’t have any place, nor does unjustifiably assuming things. All in all, in the name of fairness, just bringing it up that you’re Asian shouldn’t be an immediate deterrent. Next, I think we can all agree that simply asking where you’re from is fine. I ask that question to just about everyone I meet. It’s the asking where you’re REALLY from that, understandably so, annoys. But how about asking if you can speak another language? Irritating as it may be to you or other Asians with the same mentality, that’s a perfectly reasonable question too. And if you do speak Chinese or Korean, there shouldn’t be any reason not to express it. My point is that even though your mindset is such that revealing your ethnicity has no place or relevance in flirting, please don’t let past experiences or emotions get the best of you. You should never HAVE to shy away from who you are. It wouldn’t correlate with being proud that your Asian. Lastly, and to sum up, what you said is true, “We all just unique human beings trying to find some love in this world.” But sometimes WE can’t choose what’ll stimulate our interest or attraction, and that may very well include you being Asian. In maintaining your perspective/stance, you have to realize that there is definitely a line, and until your suitor crosses it, you gotta be fair to. It’s the only way you can expect to be treated fairly.

This post is a few years old now and I’m not sure of the likelihood of you reading this, but I just wanted to say a few things in response, hopefully not to be taken as mean hearted.

I could not speak of the nature of the original intention of this post, that would be foolish to attempt to know that. However, it seems that the purpose is less to give advice and more to scold men. I would like to point out that if women had the need to flirt; the use of fumbling, idiotic and cringe worthy tactics for pick up would absolutely be used. The fact is the vast majority of women simply need to accept a free drink and giggle. As a rule of thumb many women hate excessively being hit on. I get it. But some facts of life need to be accepted, and the sooner the better. And how would someone know that a woman has been getting hit on a lot? Should guys ascertain by the level of beauty that a woman has hit the proverbial ceiling limit? It is a bit bothersome that you never explicitly outlined as to why your ex was “missing the point” when he stated basically that shitty people are shitty people? As a matter of fact; that is the single most undying, relentless, unwavering, most true and steadfast notion there could ever be while living a human life. There will be a day when all of that wanted or unwanted attention will be turned off in your life forever. Again, it’s just life.

Life or the planet as a whole is not made a better place by opinion blogs (nor are responses to them, I understand that). The course of evolution will not take a quantum leap through awareness. It simply does not work that way. [Actually, I don’t fully believe that. If every human on a planet all had the same beautiful balanced image of peace in their minds eye at exactly the same moment, brain power connectivity might actually do something globally transcendent and unbelievably wonderful.]

If someone went up to an attractive black woman and asked her if she would like to go to KFC with them, that person is what we call “stupid”. Inept. Socially incapable. They are fools in every aspect of life, and they multiply much faster than capable, respectful people. Again, this must be realized soon, or choose to forego a night destination that is 100% guaranteed to have these people.

There are worse things in life than being hit on, even if it is A LOT. Being pretty is a tough life isn’t it? If I were asked if it hurt when I fell from ivory heaven (said in some kind of a way that was clearly meant to be harmless) every 8 minutes, every day of my life, the flattery felt would never truly die. Too bold to say, since there is no way for me to experience it until I am reborn as a curvy 10? Well, I am an adult and I know when to not shit on people’s good intentions, no matter how ill progressed that person’s frontal lobe is. Seems ironic after reading this novella though right?

I’m glad that some people got some good stuff out of your post, honestly. Hopefully that will continue. I wrote what I felt, even if the sentiments aren’t shared are even read.

Oh, and I know that you don’t like anonymous keyboard warriors so I will sign in with my FB account. Feel free to drop by.

Pretty cool notes. And we get front row seats to some of the examples . Haha. I’m terrible with with women, maybe because I lack confidence , but I guess I make up for it in courage . It’s pretty obvious why I am on this page. So thanks for being in the right place at the right time. That’s why I love asian girl . They are always on time. Lol. So many references can be made from that. Lol jk.

Stumbled across this article while searching information on a recent attack on a girl on a Sydney train, intrigued I read the article, was shocked and thought you were overgeneralizing people’s stupidity – then I read the comments. Guys trying to pick up in the comments section of an article describing their goofiness.

Ah, this life. So beautiful.

Hahaha another dumb bitch trying to get a date using a blog and its sad this bitch is a retarded white bitch in a Asian body haha when will these desperate hoes learn well all bitches are the same y’all hoes need to be put in a big ass cage and sent to a unknown island p.s u make us Asians look bad

i know you said not to say it…. but really you are beautiful

11:21pm I should be sleeping but this blog is retardedly funny. Few comments.

A) Internet has made us all dumber. B) Guys will always be weird perverted human beings. It’s in our genetic code. I’m one of them! C) Who ever writes in this blog has most likely an interest in Asian women. Thus this is a biased population sample and no statistican interpretation and is valid and no generalization can be made. D) B + C means that some guys like tall, some guys like short, black, white,big boob, small boob, skinny, curvy, asian, mixed, native american (I’ve never heard anyone talking about Eskimo girls btw, so sad face for them I guess) etc. For example, I most likely have some brain cell programming that makes me like short skinny asian girls, because in my eyes they look attractive and young, so who cares, whatever. E) who ever hates her(the author) point of view, you still contribute to her blog by increasing her traffic and valuation so the joke is on you/us.

Bottom line, here is my humble opinion. I don’t believe any guy who says that they like Asian women because they “behave” and “treat them nice”. Go marry an ugly/fat/old redneck woman. She will treat you like a prince. (I have nothing against ugly/fat/old redneck women so don’t jump on me because first of all you admit you are ugly/fat/old and second of all I’m ugly fat old for some girls out there). We are superficial. We need to satisfy our vision after all and go with something that is visually appealing.

PS saying we are proud to be Asian / American / Italian / white / black / smurf / is kinda silly. We didn’t do anything for it, we were just born that way. We should be proud for things we achieve and put some effort into.

After writting all this I am sure I’ve contributed nothing to this world ha ha.

BradenJuly 26, 2015 at 6:05 am ∞Reply

Haha I agree. extremely late on the original post. I found this topic because I seen a pretty girl I tried to talk to. Her primary language was madrain she only spoke to me in English, but I was having a hard time understanding her accent was looking for help about it. But every comment section is exatly the same on this topic for any post even though the posts differ slightly. They have good information about culture. Yes American is a culture and it differs by area to. I like your thoughts on this topic. I laughed when I read the part about people thinking you where dressing as an anime. My first thought was street fighter to be honest. Nothing to do with race but gave me a smile after thinking about it. Figured I’d put my 2 cents on on this topic.

What if there is someone in the world that really just wants to be in love with someone?

I am looking for a nice beautiful asian girl what talent with personality is so humor and outgoing nice go out to have fun but get to know that person and she did to me to get to know me I am a man looking for a beautiful asian girl is very kind very sweet and talented I like to go out diner clubbing walking movies walking sure everything else to possibly leave if I give me the girl feel good and comfortable make her understand me me understand her see how life goes by beautiful asian girls are beautiful they are create in mind of everything that’s the type of person I am looking for please get back to me and let me know what you think my name is full dangelo I’m from Philly Pennsylvania I am 15 years old of age 55 on 35 pounds medium built or working man in my life for last 32 years and I’m looking for somebody right now in awhile for me for the one with someone but if it’s you I hope I catch a ride with you to see how things go I hope you get back to me it seemed like going to picture of this photo is seem like you are very beautiful girl I like to me thank you

I usually find that starting a pleasant conversation with a woman of any race will open the door for you and if she’s into you shell give you signs that she is and if not well you just talked to a beautiful woman so good for you

Hello. This blog may be dead but I thought I’s a comment anyway as I have a perspective different from other posters.

I’m a Caucasian American expatriate who has worked in Greater China (HK and Taiwan) for over 10 years. My spoken and written Chinese is highly proficient.

I’ve travelled extensively all over the world. Meeting women of any ethnicity has always been easy for me. Simply be confident and make the other person smile and hopefully laugh (with you, not at you). Be aggressive without being creepy. Be a good and active listener. Be positive and upbeat. Be polite and move on if she’s not interested. It’s very easy and no special skills are required to meet a Chinese / Japanese/ Korean/ etc. woman as opposed to a Lithuanian / Panamanian etc. woman. I’ve dated them all.

I agree with most of the author’s advice. For example, it’s thuggish and abusive for a guy to approach an Asian woman and say “I like Asian chicks because they are tight.” I’d probably drop any guy who said that to an Asian female friend of mine. But a blog shouldn’t be necessary to explain that. I think the author is right that avoiding remarks about ethnicity INITIALLY is the right move, but after you’ve spoken for awhile it should be fine.

I think the author is overally sensitive, however, about certain things. I’m in a tiny minority of Caucasians living in Taipei, and people here–men and women–frequently ask me about my nationality, ethnicity and family heritage shortly after meeting me. I’m not offended, although I’m disappointed in women who tell me they will ONLY date white guys, or are most interested in Americans, etc. This is extremely superficial and not a mark of intelligence.

I really don’t understand the author’s hang-up about being asked her cultural heritage. Asians in Asia do it to Caucasians ALL THE TIME. It’s an icebreaker. In my experience, Chinese / Taiwanese who get pissed about being asked if they are Korean have racist feelings toward Koreans.

I also think the author’s anger at the Asian guy (probably ethnic Chinese) who said “Ni hao” to her is hard to understand. When I happen to stumble on another Caucasian foreigner in Taipei, I’ll usually smile and say “hello”. I’d be shocked if any Caucasian (or Taiwanese, for that matter) would be angered because I didn’t say 你好 in Chinese. I can say with certainty that the Chinese and Taiwanese guys I know would consider the author very rude if she expressed anger at them for daring to speak in Chinese, since she herself is ethnic Chinese.

MarkDecember 4, 2015 at 5:04 am ∞Reply

I agree with you completely. I’m a mixed origin westerner who spent most his adult life in Taiwan and the PRC, but I did live in SF Chinatown for a year. Most people there were Cantonese speakers with maybe 1/3 also speaking Mandarin and much fewer speaking English.

My first time in the laundromat on Waverly st., I saw all the clothes washing powder machines were out of order. So I asked a 20 something woman there “唔該, 洗衣粉賣在哪裡？” and she totally lost her shit at me for speaking Chinese. About 10 seconds into that, a woman who looked about 70 walked over from another washing machine and told me the machine was always broken and pointed down the street telling me where I could buy some. I thanked her and started to leave to buy some detergent and the younger woman looked dumbstruck and said something like “oh, you want detergent…”

She could actually understand Chinese, but thought I was flirting with her and just went into attack mode without even thinking! Even when I got back with the detergent and was loading my clothes into the machine, she still asked why I spoke Chinese and I actually had to pull out my TW ID card before she let it drop. Honestly, I think she was the one with racial prejudices and she’d never have done that if I’d been 華僑.

Fortunately, I didn’t meet that kind of aggressive person often, but it did happen more than once in SF. In Asia, people often make all kinds of racial assumptions about me (like being stupid or unable to use chopsticks or lazy) but at least they aren’t openly hostile at me for just trying to communicate with them in my best guess of what our common language is. Even a hyper nationalist Beijinger is better that IMHO.

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

Race is non-existent. There is only one “race:” and it’s called the human race.

There may be different tribes. Or customs. Or skin color differences. But there is no such thing as racism.

Just tribalism.

And – ALL women get hit on. Asian women sometimes forget this. And guys are dumb.

So there ya go.

wow, you seem a stuck up asian girl, and you aint that hot anyways, aussie asian girls dont have a inferiority complex like you do,,, get over it……..I think youre exaggerating about how many guys actually hit on you

So here are my general guidelines for straight single men trying to talk to ANY WOMAN you’re physically and or psychologically drawn to:

Compliment her on her looks or outfit but be specific without being creepy. The words “You’re so hot/gorgeous/beautiful” are so overused and trite, but you might be the first guy to tell her “I really like your modern haircut” or “Your necklace is really cool” this month. Just don’t cross the line over to sexual like “Your ass/cleavage looks amazing in that dress.” Smile and say something along the line of “Hey, how’s it going? My name is _______.” Observe her behavior for a while and try to find something relevant to say or ask or joke about. For example, if she’s watching a sports game, ask for her predictions of how it will turn out. If she’s waiting to order a drink at your neighborhood bar, ask her if she has had your favorite drink there yet. Joking around is always good provided that she shares your sense of humor.

^Call bullshit on this LOL. Also, I agree with others, your shit only works with gay looking white guys. I’m sorry, but I’ve tried all these on over 50 Asian women online. And they start to lose interest after 10 minutes in a convo. Clearly mental cases around lol.

Also, the problem is not with men. The problem is with you Asian women being overly sensitive and way too fucking picky. Why are men easy to talk to and not easily offended? Why do we have to follow guidelines to talk to women? This is dumb.

Hi Chin. I’m not going to hit on you, so you can let out a little “Phew!” right about now. I fell in love recently in Tay Ninh, with the sweetest, most decent, funniest, sharpest-minded girl in the world. I plan to spend the rest of my life with her, and she with me; right now we’ll live in Vietnam, but neither of us knows the future, other than that ours must be together.

I spent 4 months of 2015 in Barcelona, Spain. I hit on dozens of girls there, most of them Oriental (I’m British, btw, so “Asian” has a different meaning to us: most Russians are Asian, as are most Turks, all Pakistanis and over a billion other folks whom the average American would be confused to hear me allude to as “Asian”). I had an on-off-on again-off again gf in Bcn who was Chinese. I dated and got toyed with or rejected by plenty of Koreans (they tend not to use compass points in their nationalities, though, for sure, none of them was a northerner), Chinese girls Singaporeans and, inevitably Spaniards and South Americans.

Here’s the thing, Chin. Not once did I ever ask where any new person I met was from, much less where they were “really” from. And I always used to playfully respond to that meaningless, dull question with: “I never divulge that kind of information on a first date. So, anyway, what is your earliest childhood memory?”. Either that or, as you sagely advise here, I would ask them to tell me more about X sport that I knew they were into, or their experienced backpacking in Y city which they’d told me they had just visited prior to Bcn, and so forth.

I’m amazed, disgusted and disappointed in equal measure at how ubiquitous the casual racism you talk about seems to be; and I’m astounded that any guy expects to endear himself to the focus of his desire by “noticing” and remarking on such alienating banalities. But I did notice skillless “charmers” getting lucky regardless, all the time. And it was (forgive the racist stereotype, please, Chin!), usually a lanky, golden-haired Australian with a surfboard under his arm who would take home, on any given evening, the pretty girl whom I’d invested an hour or more of my evening in making giggle and making feel good about her lovely, very uniquely wonderful self.

So, laudible and worthwhile as your observations and inducations are, there’s a certain kind of man, and a certain kind of woman, who are so impenetrably superficial that, well, stupid “egg-fried rice” quips and such like will always be ok for them.

I know this sounds disappointing. But your experience, too, must surely confirm the reality in what I’m telling you, right?

All Asian women are beautiful, and no, i’m not here to pick anyone up… i just wish i lived in Japan, I like love their culture, plus i love hearing about their history because American history is so boring and depressing… my dream girl is Asian and im holding out for her.. im gonna start saving up for Rosetta Stone, just to make that 1st effort toward finding her

This is one ugly girl.

Woah this was really interesting to read! I’m a blonde Caucasian female and I get hit on a lot too but not in a way that’s racist! I agree I think its a huge double standard. I guess I can’t speak for all Caucasian girls but for me, I’ve never really had a lot of people ask me questions about race. I think the furthest its ever come was “Are you into black guys?” which is a question I’ve only gotten twice from a white guy and the other time was a white/Asian guy. Wow I also just wanna say you’re super pretty! I’m not half as pretty as you but I understand your pain of creepy guys coming onto you 24/7. But damn! I still cant believe guys constantly bring your race into it that’s just stupid. Especially the “you know my ex was Asian” line… that’s gotta be one of the worst ive ever heard.

Hi! I’m a Chinese girl who moved from China and I don’t get offended at any of the things you mentioned. People think we are more traditional because most Chinese are and it IS part of our culture. And asking someone where they are from is not offensive to me. I love to know where people’s from and get to know more about them. Even if you are from SF, know what ethnicity you are helps start conversations and getting to know your background! I know I’m interested in where people’s from or where ur family is from. I usually ask about ur background from another country because I find another culture interesting. Hell, my ex boyfriend was blonde and his grandpa was nazis. But of course, I’m missing the point. The point is, to me at least, you might be sensitive on a lot of issues. I think most people are not intentional racists. They just more into certain type of girl.

First of all, THANK YOU! Secondly, yeah I know this is an old post but whatever…

I can relate. I’m not Asian. I’m not female…but I can relate. I am hispanic, mexican, chicano, latino…pick your favorite one…that’s me (just please don’t label me Spanish!!!). I refer to myself as an American of Mexican heritage, I was born in Cali, my parent (yes that’s singular) she was also born in Cali, but whatever.

I work in a corporate environment for a big global tech company and I’ve experienced countless comments, questions from “well-meaning” peers, biz partners, etc.. It’s unfortunate that race gets shoved into just about every social aspect of our lives. I’ve lost count of how many times people have asked me about how to cook some Mexican dish…it’s like “…dude, I don’t even know, like…my grandma didn’t even make that!”.

So back to my sincere thanks to you – I mean it. I too am guilty of being attracted to Asian girls. And I too have fumbled about trying to smooth talk my way into their hearts, and it can be hard to find something to break the ice with. Sometimes my stupid pick up lines work, other times not so much but my point is that I appreciate the time you took to make a point about using race. I never really thought that I would ever make someone feel the way my peers at work have sometimes made me feel, especially towards someone that I am trying to get “romantical” with.

Oh and for the record, I don’t like Asians because of some weirdo 18th century idea that all Asian women are conservative, THEY ARE NOT! Or that they are all extra “tight” (lol ewww) they are all not that either. For me it’s mostly because I grew up in a diverse population and had mostly Asian or hispanic friends and so if I see an Asian girl coming my way then I’ll inevitably turn into George McFly – not smooth.

-Edgar

As a white American male whom is attracted by the Asian female I didn’t get much from this… All I can say I got from this is don’t use racial stereotypes when hitting on Asian females which, to me anyways, is common sense when hitting on any race of females, lol. But I guess from your previous encounters the guys hitting on you didn’t have much common sense… Then again common sense isn’t that common anymore this day and age!!!

This article is complete bullshit. First Asian women predominately like white & Asian man.. very rare you see them with black & hispanic. They’re just as racist because they tend to date lightskin males culturally, only thing that makes them different from whites iare they don’t have the Sepremacist title in their history. And Asiam women overall are just weird, unappealing women, men only find them exotic because they look so different from anyone else…but if you take out the face they just crazy, shallow, dumb bitches.

Wow you are so into yourself!! Lame girl.

I really enjoyed the tips u have provided and can only hope to muster up the strength to one day be able to express how I would really love to kiss her cute eyes n run my fingers thru your silky smooth hair to wake every morning to say Wo Ani to you and only you as a Hispanic 1/2 Puerto Rican 1/2 Dominican Republic, born in Brooklyn New York raised in Miami Florida it’s so challenging to me to be fortunate enough to be able to truly find my Asian queen wish I knew where to find you now that I have return to my native state of New York.

I like Asian girls because of the shape of their eyes and usually their high cheekbone. I mean I like Asian girls because I think they’re more beautiful. Am I pervert or sick? For the rest I think they’re just like every other girl, no fried rice nor whatever. Actually during the period I’ve been living in Japan, it has been pretty frustrating for me being treated like an object only because I was Italian. I treat people as people without caring about the ethnicity, but I like Asian girls more. Do I deserve a medical treatment?

So then in the end you cant open with anything related to race such as being Asian. But if your goal is date an Asian woman simply because you find them beautiful then you cant say that either? If all that leaves you is to say “nice day today, huh?” wouldn’t that come off as boring? What if there is a natural curiousity there and I said “”I caught that Joy Luck Club and I just wondering if you can relate to any of it?” Would this be an offensive opening? Great post, funny.

I know many Asian women they tell me the same thing how white,black and Latino men make there comments thinking how easy they’re to pick up. Iam a Hispanic man who has dated Asian woman all I can say is be your self don’t try to hard to impress them show respect and take your time talk about family talk about there day show up with flower become there friend and be patient don’t kiss on the first date meet her family and you can’t do this then then you will never meet a nice girl This not just for Asian woman it’s for all women

Wow. All this time, I was doing it wrong. My line was: “Yo Hogigamashinto, wanna go boom boom on some eggroll? I like the yellow hot mustard baby!” Now I umderstand why all those Korean, Japanese, and Chinese girls said “no speaka English!” I thought it was just because I was at the airport terminal waiting near JAL, Korean Air and Air China. Hmm…

Seriously, are you serious with this Chin? What crazy guys are you attracting? Sorry you experienced such idiots, but your advice smack of an unsaid underlying assumption that non-Asian men would have such racist thinking, and that assumption is itself racist, especially by comparing other non-Asian men to the one that flaunted he had an ex-girlfriend that was Asian.

For the record, I’m white and grew up in a diverse neighborhood. I can tell you, you speaking for “Asian women” plays into the stupid American simplification of Asians as all one homogenous group. They most certainly are not. Its like referring to “Euorpean women,” thinking what appeals or would generally apply culturally to an English woman would apply to a Serb would apply to a Swede would apply to a French woman. I assure there is no magic underlying formulaic approach.

Lastly, having dated a Korean and Chinese-American girl in highschool and college, I know Asian can be nasty racists asses, especially the family members of the girl being dated and well treated. No race had a monopoly on racism or ignorance. A woman being of any given race is not an issue. What is is her nature and compatibility. And I’ve lived long enough now to know the only univerisal commonality uniting people is ignorance and prejudices and a want to be respected and loved.

I’m late to the party but I found this site while trying to find statistics on black/asian interracial relationships in San Francisco.

Why?

Because I noticed that similar to my hometown Seattle, San Francisco has a huge population of asian people and a low-ish percentage of black people but it seems to me that asian/black relationships were much more popular back home and are practically non-existent here in the bay area, save a few asian guys I’ve met with black girlfriends.

Anyway, being a black male I totally understand where you’re coming from on this topic. People assume I’m aggressive all the time, assume that I must be pissed off since im not as extroverted as they expected, and my personal favorite, turn on their playa playa swag to talk to me only to realize I talk “like a white guy.” Wamp wamp wamp.

I’m giving you these examples to illustrate a couple of things… 1) That it’s not just asian girls or people who are sometimes treated as some type of exotic fetish, everyone experiences it to some degree (more so if you are not white), and 2) It’s common. Some people are curious, some people are stupid, and sometimes people are both. Bad combination. Consider yourself enlightened and use it live an enriched life. Most naturally with those who have similar life experiences.

I’m single. :)

Dudes, the lady has left the room. Your words are just blowing in the wind

Lalalalala.. all creatures are equal in God’s eyes and very beautiful…

I don’t know how I got this site of yours, but it’s hysterically funny. I know exactly what you’re talking about, I am an Asian male with two sisters. I have seen it all my life. I have been with white women and Asian women. Text me for any insight. 808 283 0877 I know my name sounds super German. But I am hapa. Mom born and raised in Japan. Text if you feel like it. You caught my attention.

beautiful girl, I’m very attracted to your asian amazing lips (hope I wasn’t racist there hahah) and I like your attitude also :D I can see, a conversation or something more than that with you can be interesting.

what can I say.. come to Europe! I don’t know how it is San Francisco but for sure you’ll be amazed by east countries of Europe., here you can see a lot of beautiful landscapes and another things, nice experience.. and who knows, maybe I’ll be your guide in this journey if you let me to bite your lips ;)

see you

Aloha,

I believe your a victem of your own words. Me personally I love cultures, I have often approached Asian Wahine and during the initial conversation ask what there nationality is rather then where they are from so I can find something in common with my experiences. Myself born and raised in Hawaii and being a minority I grew to love the cultures of the many different people living there. In fact I speak many languages and eat, cook and live by different beliefs, spirituality and I practice hula and many different martial arts but I’m not from an Asian or the kanaka maoli race. Does that mean I hate my own race or nationality? No. I am American and hapa and i love diversity. The problem today is it’s not ok to be unique. Political correctness demands we all be the same. It’s ok young lady to be described as kanani or nani for having features relatted to your nationality or race. This is a compliment. But I also understand where you conning from too. It really depends on the spirit of intent of the person approaching you. Often I find it’s just lack of knowledge or ignorence rather then being disrespectful. For example, do you know how many stupid questions I and others from Hawai’i that move to the mainland get from people who know nothing about the islands? Try does everyone surf? Do you guys live in huts(seriously)? Do you speak Hawaiian(I do a little but not everyone does) I think you get the point. But I found most are just curious and they ask out of curiosity not to be disrespectful. It’s hard to believe that just 10 years ago there were places in our country that have never been exposed to anything other then Apple pie culture or the Caucasian race. A lot of people approaching Asian American girls may just be in awe to expierence something different. Not everything is negative. Myself growing up on Hawai’i i took for grantted the beauty of Asian woman because they are everywhere on the islands. But living the last decade in areas on the mainland that are just Caucasian I have come to appreciate Asian woman again and every woman of different races as being uniquely beautiful. In conclusion, political correctness is also racist became it doesn’t recognize or respect the uniqueness of each culture or its right to exist but wants to create a one universal culture. We see this in the gentraficatiin of anything unique in this country and the islands. Mahalo for your time.

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